DEFYING GRAVITY

We were about to go to church and I was putting on a pair of dress boots and carrying a pair of trainers as well. He asked: 'Why are you carrying another pair of shoes?' So I said, 'my feet don't listen to me anymore'.

Dress boots are for Sunday service. Sketchers trainers are for anywhere else after church - in case we have a bit of walking to do. At this stage of our lives we seldom have definite plans. When the rubber hits the road, the journey begins. Depending on where the road leads us, we will then spend the day there. I may not be a scout but I like the motto 'be prepared' 

Nowadays I hardly look into a shoe shop. All the money in the world wouldn't entice me to buy anything fancy but uncomfortable. All the years of standing in heels in the lecture hall have resulted in feet that shout 'we can take no more of such abuse' 

So we try to defy gravity. Promising concoctions and peels.....and hocus pocus we have baby like skin. 

I walked into the gym and the trainer said, 'Let's warm up with jumping jacks'. Everyone was springing up and down like magnificent starfish. And there I was  making feeble attempts. I felt like a flounder, much less a starfish. I could have sworn that the gravity pull where I stood was definitely stronger. Note to self: Try another spot next time. That must be the secret.

Then I was told to go for the sled push. While others were engaging their core muscles and pushing the sled forward as fast as they could, I felt like Sisyphus, a king in Corinth who was punished for his misdeeds by eternally having to roll a heavy stone up a hill. Every time he approached the top, the stone escaped his grasp and rolled to the bottom again. 

Later that day, a good friend in her 80s visited me because she heard that my pergola had been destroyed by  Storm Kathleen and in the sworn spirit of sisterhood, we united in mutual grief. As she passed by my green house and polytunnel she commented that the greens were doing well but alas, she lamented that she couldn't do much gardening these days because it would be too arduous for her. I sensed a tinge of sadness as my gardening guru had always been an avid gardener all her life.

Laments.

We all have that bit in us.

When we realise that we can't do what we had done before because physically we are not able to. When we find that we experience senior moments: like entering a room and forgetting why we did that in the first place.

But laments can be replaced by rejoicing. 

Knowing that we have achieved much. Knowing that we have overcome many a struggle. Knowing that we don't have to worry about the many things that we had to worry about when the kids were small - fevers, colds, school grades, cocurricular activities....and the list goes on. Knowing that we have been freed from having to apply for jobs and attending interviews. Knowing that we don't have to rise up early to go to work, to set exam papers, to correct exam papers and to sit on the panel for scholarship interviews. And also knowing who our true friends are.

He said, ' There are many things you can do now, that you may not be able to do in ten or twenty years time.'

How true.

I will continue to enjoy what I can do now and love every moment of it.

HUMBLE SERVANT OF THE EARTH

So, I've been invited to give another presentation. This time I title it My Garden, My Canvas. Every now and then, I switch modes. From the usual housekeeping mode, I make a beeline to my laptop and start putting together my thoughts to get ready for the talk. It is actually very intoxicating. Lots of adrenaline pumping. I haven't lost it.

I'm a visual person so I believe in more pictures and less printed words. This means I've to rummage through plenty of gardening photos through the years. I have them all stored according to categories. This is where organising and safe keeping skills honed over the years come in very handy indeed. 

Since this is my 14th year in Ireland I have 14 years of gardening memories. From knowing next to nothing about the growing seasons to where I am. From being overwhelmed by slugs and snails to being the human that those slimey creatures slither away from. From being overzealous and over ambitious to being more practical and realistic.

I think I have done quite a lot.

In fact I'm stunned at the power of learning and adaptation to a new hobby. There is an inexplainable glow within as I pat myself on my head and whisper softly, 'Well done, good and humble servant of the earth.'

Money wise it makes no sense to grow my own vegetables or flowers when supermarkets are bursting with cheaply priced produce. Peat free compost, horse manure, fertilisers, slug pellets, gardening tools, gardening equipment - they all don't come cheap.

But the non-monetary benefits!! 

Peaceful days

 Beads of healthy perspiration, a happy heart and a sound mind. Not forgetting lovely fresh produce right in my backyard. Call me bias, but a homegrown tomato vs a store bought one, is like comparing apples to oranges.

The beauty of tenacity. 

Storm Kathleen has just passed and the garden is in a mess. The pergola is wrecked but life goes on and we can rebuild.

So even as I prepare the power point slides I continue to discover.

I want to incorporate a home made video into the presentation but don't know how. How thankful I am for good friends like Robin Wallace who will help me brainstorm over a cup of Milo next week.

Then I found that my 24 year old slide clicker is not working. So before I threw it out, I read the instructions again. Yes, the little instruction booklet is still there in its case. Then I realised that there is such a thing called a battery which needed to be replaced.

So what can I say? 

Another year and onwards to more self discovery and the little pleasures of life.

WELCOME Home ❤️

Ist impressions: People are super hospitable. I never fail to notice that Malaysians are generally very accommodating and helpful. Especially when I have been away. 

After a good night's sleep we decided to take the Light Rail Transit (like a sky train in some parts) to the heart of Kuala Lumpur. 

The first episode of random kindness. 

When we boarded the train, we found 2 separate seats. Suddenly the couple and their college going  son who were sitting between us stood up. 

The father said, ' We will move so you can 

sit together!"

They were about to perform musical chairs and we immediately thanked them for their kind gesture and convinced them that it was absolutely fine to be seated apart for 45 minutes as we could look forward to an eternity of togetherness ❤️.

The second episode of random kindness. 

When the weather is great, and most people are eating alfresco, that made us think about eating as well even when it was 10pm and we were certainly not that hungry. 

So we walked to a food truck about 5 minutes from where we stay. 

I asked the chef for something that was not listed as a set dish. 

Could he just fry 2 eggs, sunny side up and fries for the man? 

Before I could even bat an eyelid, he said "boleh boleh" .(Yes! Yes!) 

I looked around and there was no vacant table available. 

Seeing my worried face, he said "Tak ape, boleh DIY." (it's OK, we can create one) 

Like a true magician, he whipped a table and 2 plastic seats out of the air.

I wanted a cup of hot coffee and a can of coke but the chef did not serve beverages, only food. He said I could go and grab them from the convenience store about 10yards away. 

So I went there dutifully and got the coke and a sachet of ready-mix coffee. 

The third episode of random kindness 

The next challenge was how to get hot water out of a kind of unfamiliar contraption. The counter boy came running and showed me how. 

I found a stirrer and just when I thought I had it done and was about to throw the stirrer away, an elderly customer who must have been watching this strange person who couldn't operate a simple hot water contraption, excitedly said,

 'No you must continue stirring, there's still a lot of goodness at the bottom of the cup that hasn't dissolved yet.'

I wanted to give her a hug. A mother watching over another mother. 😂

When we were done with the feasting, the chef's wife thanked us and said' datang lagi ye?' (please come again?)

And so we walked home. A warm night, a big bright moon and happy hearts. 

THE JOURNEY

It was a cool morning and the final week of 2023 when my friend and I decided to meet up at a local cafe. She ordered peanut butter toast with banana slices and I ordered a bap with cheese and egg. Not one who has a great appetite for breakfast, I couldn't finish the bap and so I ate the good bits - the melted cheese and the egg - and left some bread behind.

Looking at what I had done, I confessed that if I had done that as a kid in front of my parents, I would have got an earful for being picky, for wasting food and for depriving some hungry child of food in a poor country. But of course, now that I've lived to a ripe old age, I have the privilege of leaving some bits behind on my plate. 

My parents were humans themselves and not everything they did was right. But I'm extremely thankful for the values and ethics that they imbued in me. Prudence vs extravagance. Tenacity vs tardiness. Respect vs egocentricity. Confidence vs insecurity. To know who I am and to be proud of all that I am. To know when to lead and  when to follow. To know when to speak out and when to be silent. To know when I am wrong and when I should say I am sorry. 

I wonder how many children are taught these basics these days? In the quest of making a child happy, is it out of date to teach discipline and to set boundaries? 

Someone asked me whether I knew of anyone  who would like brand new and used toys. She said if she gave away 80% of her little boy's toys, he would hardly miss them. 

So sad. That kind of money spent on toys could have been put aside for his future. 

I started saving religiously  when I was 6. I opened joint bank accounts for my children and they learned how to save from a very young age just as I did. And this worked very well when they purchased their first car or house. 

Upbringing influences what we do. Are we a good fit or are we misfits? 

I know of someone who had changed many jobs and was always complaining about her last job and the people she worked with. I wonder whether she ever paused to reflect. Could she herself be the problem? 

Everyone has the potential to grow if he wants to. Just like the koi principle. If you keep a koi in a small fish bowl, it will grow to be only about two or three inches long. But if you release it into a small pond, it will reach six to ten inches long. However, if you put it in a lake, it can even grow to three feet!

Are we limiting ourselves because of fear? Are we huddling in our comfort zone, mixing only with people we know from long ago and doing things that are familiar? In other words are we stuck in our own mindsets and perspectives of looking at things around us? 

Self growth is the result of failures and successes. I can look back now and embrace my journey in life and praise God for every experience, good or bad. 

Because without the briars and thorns there will be no me in the present. I have become who I am and am still becoming. 

Amazing, isn't it? 

THE CHOICES WE MAKE

 

Autumn is my favourite season and as I was driving this morning, the colours of the trees that pave the road never fail to evoke a sense of gratitude in me. Nothing can be more beautiful than leaves rustling in the wind and falling one by one till the ground is carpeted with hues of red, orange, brown and green.

I am thankful for the songs from Spotify, for the almost desolate roads with no traffic jams and for the free coffee I have just redeemed, having drunk 10 cups over time. Small things, but all the more precious.

There are so many things that I want to do and some weeks pass with doing nothing new and then there are weeks where everything comes together all at once. I find myself engaged in so many new activities this Autumn and the thing is, I completely enjoy all of them.

There are activities that I’m naturally inclined to and there are activities that I am not.

Let’s talk about outdoor sport and gyms.

Not exactly my cup of tea but there’s one thing that I treasure most and that is good health. I owe it to myself to take care of my body because life is a gift. I prefer to stay healthy than to give reason for the doctor to prescribe tablets for diabetes, high blood pressure, cholesterol and the list goes on. Many regular activities came to a halt during the lockdown so I decided to join a fitness programme once again.

Truth be told, crawling out of a warm bed on a cold and wet morning to head to the gym is torture. But finishing a session makes me feel good all over. Hard work but rewarding. The personal trainer is all encouragement as I’m not one who naturally gravitate towards mean machines and dumb bells.

It so happens that swimming classes have also commenced after a break and when notified I decided to take that up as well. No harm checking out  if I’m Olympic material.

Autumn is also the season where many colleges offer part time programmes for people who have learnt too much but still want to learn. So I signed up for 10 classes of make up techniques – day makeup, evening makeup, contouring, block eye shadow, socket line eyeshadow, 1940s black flick red lip, smokey eye, strip lash application and everything else necessary to paint the empty canvas of a face. Nothing like letting the professional make up artist teach me a thing or two. I enjoy every bit of it and it’s all coming to an end now so next week I’ll venture into learning  stained glass techniques, something up my street.

And so I am very thankful for the choices made.

To reset the brain– to see the positive and not the negative; to overcome fear and face challenges; to be disciplined and to have the opportunity to give and serve others in church, in the neighbourhood and at home.

I am thankful to be surrounded by a good husband, children and friends.

Most of all to know that when I reach home, there are logs burning in the stove and the room is warm.

 

 

 

THE CYPRESS AND MYRTLE TREES

One of my favourite books is 'The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse' by Charlie Mackesy and I was very glad that BBC screened an animated version of it over this Christmas season and also an insightful interview with the author.  So I took the book out of the cupboard and read it again.

We normally associate this season with joy and all things good. Rightfully so. But then again, somewhere, someplace there is sorrow and grief and sadness and a feeling of betrayal and being sidelined. There is this missing of someone, missing of a place called home and missing of  what could have been.

'What do you want to be when you grow up?' 'Kind' said the boy.

We have forgotten what it is to be kind.  Hearts rendered asunder by  words and actions. Kind - An almost archaic word that it comes as a surprise when someone says, 'You are so kind' and mean it.

The fox is caught in a trap. The mole says, 'If you stay in that snare, you will die.' So the mole chewed through the wire with his tiny teeth. That is kind. If we choose to stay in that snare, we will also die. 

'What is the bravest thing you have ever done? asked the boy to the horse. 'Help' said the horse. 'Tears fall for a reason and they are your strength not weakness.'

When you share your pain with your good friend or your adult child and both of you end up crying, there is healing in the solidarity. You may just lie in bed and wonder if there is a reason to get up. 'Sometimes,' said the horse. 'Sometimes just getting up and carrying on  is brave and magnificent.'

Promise.

I turn to Isaiah 55:13.

Instead of the thorn shall come up the cypress tree and instead of the brier shall come up the myrtle tree.

Cypress: In ancient Israel cypress represented healing, uprightness, evergreen, eternal life. They are long living trees that are able to endure harsh climates and poor soil. Bald cypress trees are valued for the rot-resistant heartwood of mature trees, so they have been widely used to make fence posts, doors, flooring,  boats, and more. Cypress was used in the building of Solomon's temple.

Myrtle: a slow growing fragrant tree, that is always green, with big beautiful blossoms and a strong root system. Even when it is cut to a stump, its roots cause it to sprout again.

Brier(s): symbolize dearth and drought.

This is my Christmas passage and it has become a personal anchor to hold onto. It is the promise of Cypress and Myrtle instead of  thorn and brier.

So, 'What do we do when our hearts hurt? asked the boy.

'We wrap them with friendship, shared tears and time, till they wake hopeful and happy again' said the horse.

Emancipation

We have just returned from a short holiday to New York and out of my 3 trips to the same city, I would say this is the best. Why? My daughter lives there. No, I didn't do the touristy stuff as I've seen what I needed to see. Yes, there were plenty of other things to do and finding unexpected treasures in the city was a bonus.

Limitations. I like the term 'mind-forg'd manacles' by William Blake. Although Blake used it to describe self imposed social and intellectual restrictions that deprive humans of experiencing nature and the true human spirit, I would like to use it to describe the circumstances, words, thoughts or expectations that shackle the human spirit. And we have many.

It is a wonderful thing to feel free. It is strange but somehow humans consciously or unconsciously put shackles on another. Be it a thought or an action. I have a doormat that reads 'PLEASE HIDE PARCELS FROM MY HUSBAND'. Maybe that's why I like to shop alone. Because one wrong word from another person who goes with you on a shopping spree takes  the joy out of shopping altogether.

It devalues the purchase.

And so I entered a craft store. That is a very dangerous place indeed. There was this lovely quilting kit that shouted loudly to my soul. I looked at it and saw the price. Then I walked away.

My daughter said, 'Mum, if you like it, buy it.'

Music to my ears.

Then I went to a flea market. That again is a very dangerous place indeed. There was this lovely Autumn teddy bear that again shouted loudly to my soul. I looked at it and told myself I have quite a few teddy bears at home. Then I walked away.

My daughter said, 'Mum, if you like it, buy it.'

I started dancing.

Because she knows. She knows where I have been all these years, putting herself, her brother and her sister before me. It is time I think of me. Now that I have lived long enough and can afford it.

Emancipation.