MARCH ON MARCH!

 

It has been a year since we went into lockdown and what started as a very strange phenomenon in the beginning has become rather ‘normal’ to me. It is strange how we adapt. Of course I still think of the ‘good old days’ when we could just go gallivanting across continents and oceans. But being a homebody as well, I have no lack of wonderful things to do at home. Believe it or not, I go to bed at night excited about what I am going to do tomorrow! And I am happy that we travelled much when we could travel.

Now that the days are longer, there are so many fun things to do in the garden as well. While the outside weather may vary from rain to hailstones, the inside temperature of the green house and polytunnel remains rather constant and that is a real bonus. Extra touches like Peter Rabbit hoeing, koi fish flags flying and metal hens that lay eggs make everything very me.

So we have St Patrick’s Day just round the corner – March 17 to be exact. Just like last year, there are no parades or mass gatherings. For me, it will be just like any other day, but I will still put up the flag and highlight my hair green for the fun of it and probably give the stove a rest and get a takeaway in tricolour. When I first started gardening, the teacher said I should plant first earlies (potatoes) by 17 March. Obedient student that I am, I have done so and they have sprouted.

I enjoy reading myths and legends of the land, and we can learn a thing or two from St Patrick, the man himself.

1.     Forgiveness

Patrick was kidnapped at the age of 16 and forced to work as a slave in Ireland. Imagine the trauma and the terror and the continual attempts to escape. Escape he did and the strange thing is instead of harbouring anger and unforgiveness towards those who stole 6 years of his freedom, he chose to ‘come and walk among the Irish’. He wrote,

 

I saw a man coming, as it were from Ireland. His name was Victoricus, and he carried many letters, and he gave me one of them. I read the heading: “The Voice of the Irish”. As I began the letter, I imagined in that moment that I heard the voice of those very people who were near the wood of Foclut, which is beside the western sea—and they cried out, as with one voice: “We appeal to you, to come and walk among us.

Marianne Williamson says: Unforgiveness is like drinking poison yourself and waiting for the other person to die

 

2.     Stepping out

Patrick stepped out of his comfort zone. He could have chosen to remain in his safe and cozy home after his escape but he did not.  There is this innate fear or resistance to try new things. For as long as we are in lockdown, zoom is about the best gift ever for human interaction. Truth be told I never liked it initially, much less host a session. By now I’m virtually travelling across counties and countries via Zoom or Teams App and attending Spring classes or talks:– Craft  (Tipp and Galway) Dance (Kerry) Religion (Limerick) and Archaeology (Middle East)

3.     Team work makes the dream work

Patrick couldn’t have done it without his core group or supporters. He would have given up, burnt out even. Many establishments have collapsed and businesses have gone bankrupt during these times. In our home, Mike and I are a team – united in common interests, understanding and remembering that we are both human, warts and all. Communication is key because things unsaid and issues that are unresolved will never go away. And we are both unfinished canvasses and that’s wonderful as well because there is so much to learn and appreciate.

4.     It costs little to care

St Patrick was also a shepherd to the flock in Ireland, which grew exponentially in his lifetime and beyond. He was an evangelist, a missionary, and a pastor. For me at this time especially a phone call, a card, a present, a text or a prayer makes all the difference to a stranger, an acquaintance, a friend or a family member.

May the Strength of God guide us.
May the Power of God preserve us.
May the Wisdom of God instruct us.
May the Hand of God protect us.
May the Way of God direct us.
May the Shield of God defend us.
May the Angels of God guard us.
Against the snares of the evil one.

-        St Patrick, 433CE

 

I SPY A ROBIN NEST

There's a deep hole in our apple tree trunk. And in that hole lives a mama robin, sitting on her blue eggs. She is there everyday watching the world outside from the safety of her nest.

There are two questions in my mind.

1. Why are robin eggs blue?
2. What is the mama robin feeling right now?

The answers to the first question are plenty - from scientific observations to the more fun  claims of bird psyche.

According to wikipedia birds that typically lay eggs in open exposed areas often have lighter coloured eggshells. On the other hand, eggs that are are laid in concealed locations sheltered from the sun are more likely to have darker hues.  The blue colour in robin eggs is due to biliverdin, a pigment deposited on the egg shell when the female lays the eggs. There is some evidence that higher biliverdin levels indicate a healthier female and brighter blue eggs.

New research suggests that the bluish colour helps facilitate just the right amount of light absorption - and thus the right temperature without overexposure.

Then we also have a fun conclusion like egg colour influencing male parental care. Apparently, males whose nests contain the brightest blue eggs feed their newly-hatched babies twice as much.

Answers to the second question are more difficult to find.

Mainly because I don't speak robin. I can see her eyes following me closely but I can't pop my head into the nest and ask how she is feeling. I wonder if she is bored. I wonder if she just can't wait for her eggs to hatch and for her babies to fledge. I wonder if the noise made by the lawn mower frightens her.

This brings me to the present situation that we are in.

Sure, we are tempted to violate the rules and go out and have a fun time. Sure, we want to visit each other and have tea and cakes like we used to. Sure, we want to have that thrill of saying we have escaped the police checkpoint.

Why do we violate rules and good advice? Is it an act of defiance? Is it misinformation? Is it for the lack of knowledge? Is it taking things for granted? Or is it pure selfishness?

I think it is a bit of everything.

My well meaning friend who missed me so much called me to join her for a cup of tea at her house. The problem is her house is more than 5km from my place. I said. NO.

Another good friend wants to come over to visit me. I said NO.

Nobody likes to stay indoors when the weather is grand. Now is certainly not the time for non essential activities. Now is not the time to invite someone over or to go to another person's house for something that can wait.

We might say, well we are healthy and they are healthy, so why worry?

The fact is no one knows exactly how 'healthy' we are at a particular point of time. Infection can be asymptomatic. Confined places can be infested with germs. Rules on safe distancing and meeting in open spaces were not created on a whim.

Because if you fall sick, you need someone else to take care of you. If you fall sick, you can infect another person. So it is not all about YOU or what you want to do. Think before you ask someone to go to your house. Think before you go to another person's house. Think before you invite someone into your house.

The mama robin is in her nest for a reason. She is keeping herself safe and her eggs safe. By so doing, she knows one day her family will be able to stretch their wings and fly. In the meantime, she will do the wisest thing and wait.

And yet humans have coined the term bird brain?

TURNING HAVEN INTO HEAVEN

I was getting ready to paint whatever that needed to be painted or repainted in the garden. It's an annual regime this time of the year. So I went to the shed and searched for  tins of leftover paint. As I laid newspapers on the floor, I was asked, 'Why are you painting? No one is going to see them.' (translation: there will be hardly any  visitors during this pandemic)

'It doesn't matter. I like things to look nice.' I answered. (translation: I take pride in my haven and am particular about quality control and it makes me happy if things are done well, whether or not anyone is looking)

So I keep myself busy, painting this and making that. Once a project is done, another begins. Full momentum. Now that the days are longer, time seems endless when I am immersed in doing something that makes me happy.

And it is very contagious. Himself is also sawing this and hammering that. So there are two happy worker bees in different corners of the haven creating beautiful things, meeting up every few hour or so for a cup of tea and a nice bun, and then back to the different corners again. One of my friends having seen what I have done said, 'Living with you would be so cool' and I said she should have moved in with me before the lockdown. Another friend asked, 'If you are finished with himself, can we borrow him?'

I have lost track of how many days we have been in isolation so far and observing safe distancing if we have to go out. In fact I don't even know what day it is today and I have to look at my phone often enough to check the day.

Basically we are social creatures.

I miss simple things like going to Dunnes in Jetland every Sunday and pushing my trolley and surveying what's on the shelves. After that, finding my favourite seat at Cafe Sol to sip a good cup of latte . Perfect Me time. No hand sanitiser, no gloves, no masks, no rush to go home.

I miss all the travelling that we do. Like many others, our planned trips this year are cancelled. We have to contend ourselves to watching the Hairy Bikers' trip to Bratislava. And I hardly ever watch the Harry Bikers on BBC before.

'Have we been to Bratislava?' he asked.

'Yes, we have.' I replied and showed him the photos that I've neatly organised into albums on facebook. (so they can be whipped up easily in times like this)

This is what cocooning does to our brains. We forget.

As in any unprecedented period of cocooning, I find myself one day laughing silly over Johnny English for the umpteenth time, especially the scene where he is sitting on a chair that goes up and down uncontrollably in the presence of the Prime Minister  and then bawling my eyes out watching Billy's father singing 'He could be a Star' in Billy Elliot the musical the next day. There are so many phases and moods that we go through.

Translation: 1. This spud is tired
                    2. This spud is stressed
                    3. This spud needs a hug
                    4. This spud is Soo Ling

So how can we turn our HAVEN into HEAVEN?

It's all in the spelling.

Just insert the letter 'E' after 'H'. 

 E is for Effort. 

Without Effort, every day is about staying at home and feeling that we have to stay at home and wondering when all this would be over and life can be normal again. I was just thinking about the vegetable seeds that I sowed on February 26 before the pandemic. As usual, I have excess plants and it's lovely to do plant swaps with like-minded gardening enthusiasts. Even now some of them are ready for harvesting - the joy of it.

E is for Excitement, Exploration, Experiment, Encouragement.

When I go to sleep at night, I get all excited because I can't wait to wake up again.

 'What are you going to do tomorrow?' he asked.

 'I don't know, but I'm sure there's plenty to explore and experiment. So we stay encouraged
and  that 's why I'm excited to wake up again.' I said.

So that keeps us going day after day until.

And in the meantime, that turns our HAVEN into HEAVEN.

THIS TOO SHALL PASS

It has been aeons since I last posted something, a very strange phenomenon for me because I love to write, amongst other things. My excuse is that I'm living in strange times, having strange fears and observing strange rules. Nothing seems normal. Exactly, nothing seems normal.

Just like Phil, a self-centred weatherman, who goes to the town of Punxsutawney for an assignment on Groundhog Day and later finds himself reliving the same day over and over again.

When I left Malaysia on 7 February 2020, the number of Covid cases was 28. At that time I thought it was terrifying and now as I write, the national total is 2031. If 28 was terrifying, I have no adjective to describe 2031.

I do not fall sick easily because I make sure that I eat and live healthily. Having said that, my body reacts to overdoses of anxiety which than inevitably leads to chest tightness. So that would be the signal for me to reduce whatever is causing that stress. I therefore decided to adhere to a strict routine, because there is only one Me, and this Me is a fighter and a survivor.

1. A quiet time

The first thing I do before I leave the bed is to have a quiet time with my Maker. That is when I can release all my fears and howl as much as I want behind closed doors. A time of weeping over the state the world is in. A time of repentance. I miss singing in the church so the next best thing is to listen to my favourite inspirational songs and sing along. Half way through the singing, the voice will just crack and the tears will flow as the heart is heavy and overwhelmed at the same time. And I remember my husband, our children, our friends and ask God to have mercy and form a hedge of protection around us. Starting the day with the right frame of mind and spirit and soul certainly helps me to go through the next 24 hours.

2. Fasting

I am thankful that this is also the month of Lent. I had already purposed in my heart to fast during this period and that has given me much strength and hope for good things that are yet to come. We appreciate our medical front liners and clap for them for their selfless acts of care for the patients.

But how does the mother of a front liner feel?

It seems like ages ago when I walked up  over a hundred steps to the university to teach everyday. As I had no car then, I took the bus, crossed over a busy road and climbed those steps up, laden with my first born. And now the first born is there serving others, with no vaccine in sight.

Even Dr Christopher Lee, who is a member of the Selangor task force for Covid-19, took to Twitter to voice his worry. He penned a message about his daughter Hannah, who was going to her first day as a medical officer at the Covid-19 ward at the Tuanku Ja'afar Hospital in Seremban,Negeri Sembilan and how heavy his heart is.

'20 years ago, my 9 yr daughter told me 'Be careful, Papa' when I left to serve in the SARS ward at the KL hospital. This morning, I reminded Hannah to 'Take care, girl' when she starts her 1st day as an MO in the Covid ward in Seremban. Many parents are feeling what I'm feeling now...worried.'

3 Self Quarantine.  

Although social distancing is encouraged in Ireland, I decided to take one step further to self quarantine as early as February. I only go out for very essential matters because I feel safer at home. Even today the Prime Minister has just announced stricter measures until Easter. I totally welcome it because I like being at home as much as I like travelling.

I remember having to stay home for 30 days after each child was born. I enjoyed that thoroughly - eating nourishing food and resting, having engaged a special person called the confinement lady to take care of me and the newborn and all the household duties. So for  3 children, I had 90 days of self quarantine over a few years.

4. Social Media

Being a woman of two nations, I have double the joy during good times. But during difficult times , I have double the anxiety. So I followed the news from both countries very closely until....

I decided I'm going to limit myself reading or listening about news on Covid19. I will quickly run through both real and fake news in the morning for a maximum of 10 minutes just to keep abreast with what is happening. And even if I receive more news and videos on the said matter via messenger, facebook or whatsapp throughout the day, I will not read them. Too much bad news has a way of getting into your system.

5. Something that makes me happy

Basically, I have so many things to do or entertain myself at home, I am never bored. There is enough stash in my craft room to last me for the next 5 years.

I have books by my bedside that are shouting at me to read. I have movies that I have recorded and haven't watched yet. The planning of daily meals as we eat in more encourages me to try new recipes and I'm really happy with the meals I have prepared.

But most of all, surrounded by the people I love and who love me in return makes me very happy. Together we can do little things or big things, it doesn't matter. What matters is that hands are warm and hearts are beating still.

The sun still rises. The sun still sets. In fear and doubt, whether near or past....THIS TOO SHALL PASS.