Saturday, January 16, 2016

STARTING LIFE ALL OVER AGAIN


I was trying to order some rail tickets online and there was some glitch in the payment section. This meant that I had to start all over again many times and the word frustration took a new meaning altogether. Every time I keyed in the details, I made more mistakes as the brain became more tired and fuddled.  After the sixth attempt, I decided to give the company a call and the problem was arrested.

Starting all over is a journey of strength and resilience.

Hall and Oates in the song ‘Starting all over again’ profess that this is an uphill climb to the finish line. In the movie, Phoenix, a disfigured World War II survivor had her face reconstructed so she could begin a new life.

I was in Warsaw recently and  I would never have suspected that more than 85% of the city’s historic centre was destroyed by Nazi troops during the Warsaw Uprising in August 1944. In fact the market square in Old Town is a complete reconstruction.



Its citizens got together and after the war, they started a five-year reconstruction campaign which resulted in the magnificent restoration of the Old town with all its iconic buildings. The citizens laid brick upon brick on a virtual sea of ruins.

I am sure that there was much opposition to the reconstruction. After all, wouldn’t it have been easier just to leave the city as a war memorial and move on to make another city the capital?

But the indomitable spirit of determination reigned strong.



It was the incredible hearts and souls that drove the whole nation, the pouring in of donations and workers from all over Poland and of course with much volunteer work. Apparently bricks from neighbouring cities like Wroclaw/Breslau were used for the rebuilding as well.

Constant knocking down eventually gets to us and affects our personalities and we are shattered literally. To reconstruct is to pick up the pieces and make something new and better. Like a jigsaw, all the pieces can come together to give a complete picture.

I have been having fun with mosaic glass, assembling small pieces of coloured glass, tiles, stones or other materials to create beautiful images. It is laborious work which involves the selection of the pieces and mounting them on a board or glass surface before finally fusing them together with grout which can be sticky and mucky. What begins as a humble sketch often ends in a spectacular display piece.  In the process of picking up the glass pieces or shards, accidents do happen.


Reconstruction of our lives is just like that.

The pieces may cut us but we select those that we need to rebuild our lives and move on.  Never mind the naysayers and gloomsayers– people who are negative about whatever we attempt to do.

Now is as good a time as any to reflect and see what we want to do with our lives. We have 12 months ahead of  us which can be filled with great endeavours. My 2016 planner is already getting filled up!


I often have people come up to me to ask whether I miss teaching. My answer is always the same. I am content where I am, a different phase, a different season. I may not be formally teaching in a university but I am teaching all the same – teaching myself and others around me and more importantly, learning, which is key to everything. Ronald E. Osborne says “ Unless you do something beyond what you’ve already mastered, you will never grow.”

Broken pieces can be fixed. Only if we want to.

This article was originally printed in the NEW STRAITS TIMES MALAYSIA 17 JAN 2016
http://digital.nstp.com.my/nst/books/160117nstnews/index.html#/23/                                          







Saturday, January 2, 2016

TEN RULES TO LIVE YOUR LIFE BY


The thing about resolutions is that they are all done in good faith. I cannot remember the resolutions I made when the year changed from 2014 to 2015 and therefore can safely say that I neither honoured nor broke any.

So with 2016 I think I’d rather list down 10 rules of day-to-day living that I will continue to abide by because they have served me well thus far.

Rule 1:

I DON’T WORRY ABOUT WHO DOESN’T LIKE ME BECAUSE I’M TOO BUSY LOVING THE PEOPLE WHO LOVE ME.
This is a conscious act of the will and I find it very effective. The underlying principle is life is short and it is wonderful to be surrounded by people who care for you and to be able to love and care for others in return. I have so many new and not so new friends who are genuinely interested in being concerned about one another. The bottom line is I cannot please everyone and there’ll always be someone who will find fault, real or imagined, with me. So why let someone else’s myopic view of you spoil your day?

Rule 2:

IN EVERYTHING I DO, I GIVE IT MY BEST SHOT. NO HALF MEASURES.
I agree with this wholeheartedly - be it going to the office, delving into a hobby or doing voluntary work. I find that some people are ‘embarrassed’ with their own quality of work and think that it is not good enough. For me, if  I’ve pitched in my best effort, then it is certainly good enough for myself and others, if not excellent.

Rule 3:

COMMITMENT, RESPONSIBILITY, DELIVERY: ACTIONS, NOT WORDS.
It is easy to make empty promises and saying yes when we mean no. I have learnt that if I say yes, then it becomes my responsibility to deliver. I have also learnt that it is not easy to say no. When others expect you to say yes to a favour and the answer is no, more often than not, they become miffed. At the end of the day, it is more important to be honest with yourself and not take more than you can handle or are comfortable with.

Rule 4:

BEFORE I STEP OUT OF MY HOUSE (EVEN FOR A LOAF OF BREAD), I MUST LOOK PRESENTABLE.
I’ve always believed in the quality of the product and its packaging. A good product looks better if it is packaged beautifully.

Rule 5:

WHEN UNSURE, IT IS BETTER TO BE OVERDRESSED THAN UNDERDRESSED.
So far, I have not gone wrong on this point. It is always pleasant to the eye to look good and feel good.

Rule 6:

EAT EVERYTHING IN MODERATION. EXERCISE IF I CAN.
Like most Malaysians I enjoy good food. Tastes change with age and sweet things do not lure me as much as savoury stuff and I guess I eat most things that walk or swim. Occasional treats are most welcome but gluttony or indulgence is not. When the weather is good, I take my walks.

Rule 7:

GIVE OF MY TIME, TALENTS AND MONEY. THEY ARE NOT MINE TO BEGIN WITH.
I have to remind myself of this regularly lest I think I can bring them to the grave with me.

Rule 8:

LET GO OF THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE.
Never enter marriage thinking you can change a person. There are many things or people that we cannot agree with but it is not my job to change them. The only changes I can make are within myself.

Rule 9:

BE GRATEFUL, NEVER TAKE FOR GRANTED THE PEOPLE OR THE THINGS THAT WE HAVE AROUND US.
It is so very important to appreciate our family and friends because there is tendency to forget the people who are around us all the time. The words ‘I love you’ or ‘thank you’ must never be in short supply.

Rule 10:

LOVE WITH PASSION. LIVE WITH FOCUS. FORGIVE WITH DETERMINATION.
This is the rule that holds up all the others. I don’t believe in holding back love when I care for a person even if I have gone through bad experiences. I wake up being grateful that I have the opportunity to live another day in good health and surrounded by warmth. Most of all I’m determined to forgive others, because if I choose to hold on to grudges and hurts, I am the one who is most trapped.


                                 Wishing all readers a happy new year!

This article was originally printed in the NEW STRAITS TIMES MALAYSIA, 3 JANUARY 2016
http://digital.nstp.com.my/nst/books/160103nstnews/index.html#/23/