LIVE FOR YOURSELF, NOT OTHERS

I was reading some inspirational material the other day and came away absolutely convinced that we owe it to ourselves to make the decision to live. Not just any kind of living but to live loved, to live focussed and to live beyond borders in 2015.

There are many non-government organisations here that give hope and direction to the community. In a very small way, I’m involved with ADAPT house which runs the largest refuge centre providing emergency accommodation for women and children who have to leave their homes because of domestic abuse. .  One in five women experiences domestic abuse in Ireland but it is the most under reported crime here.

Domestic abuse is not only physical abuse but it can be emotional, verbal, sexual or financial abuse. Physical abuse may be backed up by medical reports but other types of abuse unfortunately are difficult to categorise or to prove ‘logically’ and ‘systematically’. The victims themselves may not even be aware that they have been subjected to such abuse and may have erroneously believe that it is part of living.

There are some things that we hold sacrosanct. But against the best of intentions, what is perfect can become imperfect and what is hoped for can disappoint. It is then time to be brave enough to step back and recognise the lone struggling at odds and the desperation of the plight. There are many marriages that have passed their sell-by date and yet married people remain living in the same family home as strangers for reasons best known to themselves.

In any circumstance, country or culture, it is not uncommon that we find ourselves breathing but not living. It sounds strange but if we look around us examples abound. If we are honest with ourselves, we are victims too.

To live with an idea of where we are heading to is like a captain in control of her ship. Unless we know what we want and work towards achieving that, the ship will be tossed about by the waves and plans keep changing.

What is it that drives us? Have we forgotten the dreams that we had oh, so many years ago? Have we made so many compromises along the way for the common good that we have gone off-tangent for far too long?

I have befriended so many people who had dreams once. Dreams to succeed, dreams to do something significant, dreams to be somebody. The same people who would have liked to walk on the moon sometime in their lives now feel inadequate, insecure, and feel that life out there is for others, not for themselves. The same people who were attractive, clever and ambitious once, are now dowdy and have allowed others and even their own children to trample all over them
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To live beyond borders is to believe in yourself and to enjoy what is new, what is good and what is different. It is to break away from what is routine and what is comfortable and to take on a task that you have always feared you were neither good nor clever enough for. It could be a skill that you want to learn or a hobby that you have always wanted to take up but was afraid to do so because of the fear of failure.

I cannot say enough about the feeling of satisfaction and achievement when I have done something that I was afraid to do. It reminds me that I am made of more. I also cannot say enough about the humility of knowing that I have tried to do some things and yet have not achieved what I had intended. It reminds me that I’m human.

It is the beginning of a new year and a very good time to make decisions and to take the bull by its horns. Whatever has been nagging, deal with it. Whatever has been hurting, resolve it and whatever has been uplifting embrace it and move forward.

It is time to decide that we want to live loved, to live focussed and to live beyond borders.

Life is too short to be wasted on regrets


This article was originally published by New Straits Times. You can read the original article here - http://digital.nstp.com.my/nst/books/150111nstnews/index.html#/19/