Stepping Into Retirement Zone

If there is anything more lovely, it would be to see two dancers doing the tango. Tango scenes with "Por una Cabeza" appear in movies like The Scent of a Woman, True Lies, Frida and Schindler’s List. When done professionally, the dance is seamless, the movements effortless. The difference between amateurs and professionals is practice, practice, practice.

Just like retirement.

To live retirement the way it is intended is to learn to dance through the sunshine and the rain. There’s a sign in a coffee shop in Chicago which reads ‘As you wander through life brother, whatever be your goal. Keep your eye upon the doughnut and not upon the hole.’

And this requires lots of practice.

The beginning of a year is about the best time to focus on how we would like the rest of the year to be. Just as many are entering the workforce for the first time, a great number are also leaving it. I am surrounded by friends who are retiring and rumours of others retiring.

Retirement can be a very frightening phenomenon for some. It is stepping into a completely different zone where you are not defined by your work or your achievements. I know of some who feel completely lost and fall into a state of depression because they are no longer surrounded by the familiar. Slowly but surely, they let themselves go – their  physical appearance, their mental development and their social networking.

If gaining perfection in dancing means practice, feeling empowered during retirement means attitude change,

Most of us had a number of ambitions when we were younger, but finally settled for one profession.  I was no different. I wanted to go to art school. I also wanted to become a journalist. But most of all I wanted to be a full time home maker. Along the way, I became a lecturer and loved what I did.

Now that I have retired, I find myself enrolling in art classes, writing for the papers and magazines and enjoying the life of a full time home maker. It’s strange how I have come full circle and am loving every bit of it because it is learning everything all over again without the stress and the worry.

I was reading a letter in the Aunt Agony column in a local paper where a retired person sought advice for a more meaningful life. I was surprised that Aunt Agony advised her to mind her grandchildren full time so she could feel ‘useful’ again. Nothing wrong with baby-sitting now and again but how sad when having gone through the toil of bringing up her own children, according to Aunt Agony, that seemed to be the only possible avenue for her to seek happiness! Surely, she had a right to develop her new-found identity and enjoy the spoils of her labour.

One of the greatest challenges facing the retired person is the fear of stepping out. When a student leaves school, there is a fear of stepping out to a new world, be it tertiary education or the working world. But what gives her a sense of stability is the guarantee that there will be new people in college or the workplace that she can be friends with.

The person who retires from the office leaves behind her colleagues or friends and unless she has some form of a social life, she has to muster all her energy to break into new groups. There is a great number of senior citizens where I live and there are many ladies who have outlived their husbands. So springs a great variety clubs and organisations and charitable bodies where they can get involved in.

A merry heart is good medicine. When we listen, there are many things that can make us smile. 

One of my friends once lamented that the hedgehogs did not go to her garden anymore to which another lady cheekily suggested that she should make a little door with a sign post ‘Hedgehogs Welcome’. In another instance, I asked a lady whether she was on-line because I wanted to email her some photos. She said, ‘No dear, I’m not online. I’m off-line and most times I’m out of line and hanging on a line.’

I systematically spring clean. By now most of my office-related materials have gone to the recycling bin.The only tangible reminder of the days when I used to go to office is my planner. I may have retired but my planner is still choc-full of appealing activities and I’m learning something new every day.

So, although the spring and summer years are gone, I regret nothing nor hanker after what is lost and what could have been. Instead I keep my eye on the beauty of autumn and winter and learn to dance amidst the falling leaves and icy snowflakes.

In short, I keep my eye upon the doughnut and not upon the hole.

THIS ARTICLE WAS ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED BY NEW STRAITS TIMES  22/3/2015 :

http://digital.nstp.com.my/nst/books/150322nstnews/index.html#/21/