FAMILY TREASURES THAT WE INHERIT

There are some days when everything is done and dusted and I sit on my favourite chair and twiddle my fingers, wondering what to do next.

Well just the other day, I was in that frame of mind when I suddenly had the brainwave to weigh the iron.

Yes, the same iron that is used to press out the creases in clean clothes.

According to an ergonomic study of muscular fatigue during ironing clothes with selected irons carried out by P. Aujla, P. Sandhu and R. Kaur, (2008) it was found that ironing clothes with a light weight iron causes minimum stress to the body. In contrast the heavy weight iron is most taxing to the human body.

So I took the bathroom scales and put the steam iron on it. The scales had no reading and I thought the iron must be too light to register a reading. 

Undaunted, I climbed on a chair to retrieve the kitchen scales in the top cabinet. (The beloved was watching me but he said nothing. Clever move in order to live a quiet life, I thought.)

It was a eureka moment when the iron weighed a hefty 1.8 kg.  I had finally found the reason for my sore right arm.

Like many things in life, I have inherited the iron by default.

This brings to mind the presents that I have received and the heirlooms that are in my safekeeping. There are some presents that I adore but there are so many others that are unused and simply kept, sometimes even in their original packaging, in the cupboard.

Truth be told, taste is a very individual thing.

I know of people who choose presents for others with great care and many who do not. To me, handmade presents are the most meaningful and I appreciate the time and effort that go into making them. Having said that, others might prefer store bought ones and may dismiss handmade ones as cheapskate.

The things we leave behind for another generation are the things that we hold dear.

That bracelet that belonged to my mother is still preciously wrapped in cotton wool for sentimental reasons. There are antique road shows where people bring their heirlooms to be valued. Most times, even when offered a high price, the owner of the treasured object would rather not sell it. However, not everyone appreciates what is left to him with the exception of hard cold cash.

One of my friends inherited a taxidermied moose’s head and every time she moved house she had to carry that moose’s head with her. It had become burdensome.

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I have heard often enough that jewellery should be left to daughters and not to sons, the reason being the daughters would surely mind the family treasures. I don’t know to what extent that is true. I remember my mother giving some of her gold pieces to her daughters-in-law. I wonder whether they are still kept by the daughters-in-law or they have been sold. To me material things are literally things that are temporal. It doesn’t matter whether they are kept or sold. I would prefer to leave behind a legacy - a life that is remembered with fondness. 

So I went to the electrical shop and got one nifty iron that had all the necessary functions but weighed 1.4 kg. I reasoned that a difference of 400 grammes will surely matter in the long run. It was perfect for my Asian muscles and bones. Besides that the baby blue colour was really appealing.

There is an Irish writer who said that every man must have his own dishwasher as he did not agree to how his wife practically left no empty space in it whenever she switched it on.

As for me, every woman must have her own iron and having said that, any other thing that she fancies, if money is not a problem.

THIS ARTICLE WAS ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED BY NEW STRAITS TIMES - 30 August 2015

http://digital.nstp.com.my/nst/books/150830nstnews/index.html#/23/           OR

http://www.nst.com.my/node/98511

EVERY GIRL LOVES A DIAMOND

Much has been said about the allure of a diamond. Diamonds are forever and diamonds are a girl’s best friend. I never thought I would say this but I have fallen for a diamond too. This time round, it is Neil Diamond - the voice, not the man.

Truth be told, I was never quite his follower in my school years but tastes change with age.

Now I think his voice is something else and even at 74, he can mesmerise 14,000 people, mainly older women. I know this for a fact because I was sitting there among the crowd    at  3 Arena, an amphitheatre located at North Wall Quay in the Dublin Docklands in Dublin.

I was there early so I had time to indulge in my favourite past time – observing.

There were two huge screens upfront that had a running commentary of the audience’s tweets. It was amazing how the tweets shared a common vein –  every single tweet was about a daughter who had accompanied her mother or father for a never-to-be-forgotten experience.

When the man came on the stage, the atmosphere was electrifying. Suddenly the elderly people were clapping or waving their light sticks.  I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw the very same people who came in through the doors of the amphitheatre with their  walking sticks, spring up  and dance! I thought it was all very spontaneous and graceful.  Every grandmother or grandfather was  a young person again that night.

As Neil Diamond belted out the classics, the lyrics of ‘I am I said’ struck a chord.

As the song goes, ‘ I’m New York City born and raised...but nowadays I’m lost between two shores. L.A.’s fine, but it ain’t home....New York’s home but it ain’t mine no more.........’

Very true indeed.

There are some who have been born and raised in a village and remained there all their lives so they probably would not feel this predicament. There are others like myself who have moved from towns to cities to countries. We have more than one place to call home and yet there is a feeling of being ‘lost between two shores’

I remember participating in an ice-breaking activity where I was given this question. ‘What would you like to be said at your funeral?’ I thoroughly enjoyed that as I had been preparing all my life for this....sounds morbid...but that is one of the fun things the mind can do.

So I said I would like to model it after Michael Hess’s headstone inscription (from the true to life movie Philomena). ...’A woman of two nations and many talents’. And then I added, ‘For those who are here attending my funeral, who had never spoken or were kind to me when I was alive, what are you doing here?’ This is especially so in a society where being seen at a funeral is of utmost importance.

In the context of a sense of belonging, I find that there is this  phenomenon that I would call the ‘Ellipsis Effect’.

Ellipsis in the area of linguistics is the act of leaving out one or more words that are not necessary for a phrase to be understood.

It is very strange but when I stay in a place long enough, I feel that I have lived there forever and memories of other places where I had set up home before, fade over time. It would seem that I have never left in the first place. It doesn’t matter whether the places that I have lived are as varied as night and day. It doesn’t matter whether I have very good friends in any of those places. It doesn’t matter how many years I have spent in one place. So when I begin to settle the Ellipsis Effect kicks in.

Apparently, I am not the only one who feels this way Does this attest to the innate human instinct to survive and to put down roots wherever we are?

Home is where memories are made.  Home is where we feel comfortable, loved, relaxed, peaceful, and contented, 

Home is where the heart is.

 THIS ARTICLE WAS ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED BY NEW STRAITS TIMES - 16 AUGUST 2015

 http://digital.nstp.com.my/nst/books/150816nstnews/index.html#/23/


http://www.nst.com.my/node/96372

WITH LIGHT THE DARKNESS CANNOT REMAIN

Now that summer is coming to an end, we will soon miss the sun that blazes through the sky for days on end and sets only after 10pm. During summer, the whole atmosphere is electric and everyone seems to have a sudden burst of energy. We are all too happy to hang up the bulky coats and put on shorts and t-shirts instead. Colours are vibrant, the grass is greener and the sheep look happier. We even rush out to buy the table fan when the heat threatens to be unbearable.

However, when it is winter and snow is like a soft white blanket in my backyard, I lament the possibility of not seeing the sun again. I get this feeling all the time, as if winter will last forever and I am permanently locked in a climate that will not change.

Strange but true.

Maybe it is because summer and winter  are poles apart. With Spring and Autumn the transition is more gradual. Cherry blossoms in Spring are quickly blown away as Summer’s warm clime heralds. As for Autumn, the  rich golden hues and falling leaves prepare us for Winter. We are so busy sweeping the leaves away, we hardly notice that tree branches are becoming bare.

What is it with the human brain that when we get accustomed to something  good or bad , we seem to think that it will become a permanent state? The mind is easily tricked by what it sees for a relatively long period of time.

Everything on earth is transient. They say that time flies when you are having fun. We are also well aware that misery loves company and when it comes to misfortune, it not only rains but pours.

Yet we have seen it many times that both good and bad experiences come and go.

It is just that when we are in the thick  of it, we think that it is permanent.  Going through a rough patch will leave anyone brow beaten. Much has been written on this topic and the usual response to overcoming difficult times is to analyse the problem, seek possible solutions, communicate, forgive and most of all learn not to blame yourself. This whole process may take months or years but it is comforting to know that tomorrow can be a better day.

Sometime ago, PIETA House (Preventing Suicide and Self Harm) organised a Darkness into Light walk. Starting at 4:15am and crossing the line just as dawn was breaking, the annual 5 km walk with 80 venues across Ireland and beyond,  celebrated its 7^th year.

I thought the walk was very symbolic.  Darkness which can be very intimidating and overpowering cannot remain forever when light breaks through.

There are so many of us who have experienced difficult seasons and great seasons in  life.  It has been said that beautiful paths could not have been discovered unless we are lost.

Catherine Fisher, writer of Incarceron  illustrates this in the Songs of Sapphique,

“I have walked a stair of swords,
I have worn a coat of scars.
I have vowed with hollow words,
I have lied my way to the stars...”

I rejoice when I  know someone finally has a breakthrough. It could be a bad habit or a limiting circumstance but to actually see a friend emerge victorious is great happiness. The humble person is one who has known defeat and pain and yet has found his way out of the depths.

I like this inspirational quotation that I have seen: Everything in life is temporary. So if things are going well, enjoy them because they won’t last forever. And if things are going bad, don’t worry, they can’t last forever either.

How true.

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THIS ARTICLE WAS ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED BY NEW STRAITS TIMES  2 AUGUST 2015

http://www.nst.com.my/news/2015/09/light-darkness-cannot-remain

 http://digital.nstp.com.my/nst/books/150802nstnews/index.html#/23/