LEFT BEHIND

 

I rang the doorbell, with a tray of homemade apple crumble in my hands. A kindly looking gentleman wearing a soft peak cap opened the door and ushered me into a room. 

A very familiar room where we used to drink coffee and exchanged stories. A room where I could admire the lovely green garden outside. She baked delicious  scones that we ate with freshly whipped cream and jam. I could still hear her laughter.

Now the table was laden with loads of interesting crafting bits. 

"You can take whatever you like, the rest I will give to charity." he said.

So I went through every box and every bag. Knitting wool, patchwork fabric, card making stuff and more. Finished projects. Unfinished projects. All up my alley. 

As I touched the fabric and every small thing I could feel the hands that once touched them. There was a bag of little woollen caps that she had knitted for preemies. She was there cradling every cap.

After a while, he came back into the room and gave me a box to put the stuff in and then walked me to the door. I gave him a hug and he asked me, 

"Can I put the apple crumble in the microwave?" he asked.

"Yes, scoop whatever you want and put it on a plate and warm it up in the microwave. Do not put the whole aluminum tray into it." I replied.

I bade him goodbye and when he was out of sight, I cried and cried all the way home. 

IT'S HARD TO SAY GOODBYE TO WHAT YOU WANT FOREVER

In July and August this year,  I have to say goodbye to two friends. One whom I was just getting to know better and the other whom I've known for 8 years.

Ivania came into my life when her daughters enrolled at a local school. Getting to know her was effortless as she is unassuming and full of life. I invited her over to my house for tea and  as English is not Ivania's first language, google translate was a big help. I wish I knew Spanish!!

And before we could have more tete a tete, the lockdown came. But communication can take so many forms, if we put our minds to it. There was a slew of WhatsApp messages sharing fun things and things that matter.

So when we could travel out of Ireland again, I got a text from her saying that she and her girls would be boarding the ferry soon. I knew that would eventually come one day but when it came, it hit me like a ton of bricks.

Too soon!!!

We had another round of food at the Lakeside and when I brought her home in my car, I knew I would not see her again until I go to Madrid one day.

A.A. Milne said, 'How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.'

Friendship is such a beautiful thing. To have good friends is to be a good friend yourself. I cannot say often enough that good friends don't happen overnight. Like everything else friendship needs nourishment - time, effort, mutual concern. Many have neglected building friendships because of other pressing matters of the day. It is when all is said and done, and the children have flown the nest, and you sit down and say to yourself  'I don't have friends'.

Susan came into my life some 8 years ago. We just clicked from the word go. She is compassionate and we have exchanged recipes and secrets of the heart. Sometime next week, she will be returning to Seattle. We promise ourselves that we must meet in NYC someday at least!

So to my lovely friends who have left something behind in my heart...

I am....

- SAD to see you go

- HAPPY that you are going to have more joy in your life

- EXCITED that the future is bright for you

- ANGRY that you had to go through anything unpleasant during your stay here

- HOPEFUL that we will meet again

- APPRECIATIVE of the moments we shared

- GLAD that I've known you as a friend

- CERTAIN that God is there for you

- OPTIMISTIC that you will be surrounded by lots of love and support

                                               Thank you for being my friend.

MY NEW VOCATION?

Confucius said, 'Choose a job you love and you will never have to work a day in your life.' I agree with him totally. All the years that I was lecturing in the university, I enjoyed my seminar rooms and lecture halls filled with students. So now that the rooms have faded into very pleasant memories, I'm en route to a new vocation.

Today is Friendship Day and I suspect every day is some special day as well. Isn't it lovely to be surrounded by friends near and far who care for you? I don't want to be just a friend, I want to be a true friend.

And I am learning and I am simply amazed when I get lovely comments like: 'You are an amazing friend and I am so lucky that I have gotten to know you. ' <3<3<3

So what makes a true friend?

1) “An acquaintance merely enjoys your company, a fair-weather companion flatters when all is well, a true friend has your best interests at heart and the pluck to tell you what you need to hear.” 
― E.A. Bucchianeri, Brushstrokes of a Gadfly,

I think we all have our collection of acquaintances and fair-weather companions. People who say 'howya?' and 'See you later'. That's just being friendly but that doesn't make a true friend. Nobody wants to stick out and annoy you and  tell you things you don't want to hear about yourself that are so plain to everyone else. It takes a true friend out of love to do that. Not only does she tell you how you are destroying yourself but she also encourages you to be your potential and to taste the honey dripping from the honeycomb.

2.“There are still some wonderful people left in this world! They are diamonds in the rough, but they're around! You'll find them when you fall down– they're the ones who pick you up, who don't judge, and you had to fall down to see them! When you get up again, remember who your true friends are!” 
― C. JoyBell C.

i would say I have found such wonderful people. Usually people who do not judge are people who have walked a similar road like yourself. It is such a comfort when people listen and not hear. It is less annoying when people stop preaching or throwing out bible verses at you even though you have read the bible twice over.

3. Don't wait for people to be friendly. Show them how. - Unknown

The thing is, if you are looking for a wonderful friend, you must be prepared to be one yourself. And it takes effort and time and sincerity. You will need to remember things that are special to her - her birthday for instance, and not depend on facebook to remind you. You will need to have those coffee moments, when it's just the two of you having a cuppa and not staring at the television in the room or wondering who is that motley crowd that has walked in and do you know them?

4. A good friend is one who thinks you are a good egg even when she knows you are slightly cracked.

i think this is hilarious but it is true. No one's perfect and we all have our idiosyncrasies. We have good days and bad days. Days of raging hormones and days of no hormones, if you get what I mean. But it is accepting the person in totality and not to be too overly sensitive over some perceived indifference. 

5. True friendship is not about being separable. It is being separated and nothing changes.

Very true. We make new good friends but we must not neglect those that we have left behind. Inevitably space and time may pose as challenges but i can safely say I have true friends in Ireland and other parts of the world.

6. Be loyal in confidence and character (Peggy Turner Beatty)

What is told to you in confidence remains in confidence. 

7. Show up! (Sherri Levy)

Be there in person when possible, in sympathy and in joy.  True friends are rare. Treasure them and put effort into sustaining the friendship .

Busyness is a choice. Priorities are choices.

8. AND THIS IS TO ALL MY TRUE FRIENDS OUT THERE.....