YOU WRITE MY STORY

I am surrounded by icy winds and frosty air. Water in the bucket has turned to ice. The doors of my greenhouse are frosted and 'glued' together. Hachi runs around and enjoys rolling on the frost bitten grass. A different season indeed but there is so much beauty and quiet this time of the year. It takes going through Winter to appreciate Spring.

So I retreat into the comfort of the warm fireplace, do a bit of quilting and listen to my favourite songs on spotify . The songs evoke a gamut of memories and emotions which then leads me to write.

I start the year with prayer and fasting. That 2021 is surrendered to God.  Forgiveness and trust. Fears and promises. People I care for. Things unseen, situations hoped for. Letting go. Most of all for protection and safety.

When I think back of my childhood, my teenage years, my adult life and my now. I feel that I've been travelling on Life's journey for sometime now. Will I go back and start from the beginning again if given the chance? Will I live any differently?

No. 

I wish I could have avoided the trappings. I wish I could have avoided the pitfalls. I wish I could have avoided the mistakes and the pain. But if I did, I would not have learnt, what it is to be human, to be kinder and to be more sympathetic to others who might have experienced what I had gone through.  I would not have learnt how to walk in someone's shoes, how to care, how to have empathy, how to hold my tongue, how to speak out, how to battle prejudices and how to encourage. My husband and children are proud of me. My friends share their hearts with me. I am very blessed indeed.

I see the daffodils trying to push through the snow. There is life yet. And I am thankful for the 355 days ahead. For new milestones and wise choices and decisions. For miracles and answered prayers. For family and friends and for acquaintances who have yet to become friends. 

Every milestone. Every experience. By design or by choice. 

YOU write my story. 

INSIDE LOOKING OUT

We went to a lovely restaurant the other day, just to celebrate the fact that we could go out and dine somewhere else other than home. The little things that we have been used to have become so much more precious. I was sitting INSIDE, LOOKING OUT at the people passing by. 

And I thought to myself. Here I am, reading the menu and choosing what I want. No holds barred.

Imagine many years ago, when I was travelling on my own presenting papers at international conferences on a shoe string budget. Especially during winter when I saw people laughing and dining in fancy restaurants behind frosted windows and I wondered what it was like, eating in the comfort of great smells and warmth. I was on the OUTSIDE, LOOKING IN.

Instead, I would have walked into Sainsbury or Mercato and bought a drumstick and a roll - that would have sufficed as dinner. Just because there were greater concerns of the day and expenses that needed to be met.

Recently a small company approached me to make fabric masks. What started off as making masks for family and friends had suddenly evolved into a possible business. (Sometimes I see myself as having the Midas touch because I am never short of people who want to buy my handmade things) 

But I said NO. Not now, not ever I hope. Because my 'working' days are over - days when I had to work very hard to make ends meet, to raise a family. Indeed I have made my million and the children are well and capable.

So time is precious. How I want to spend my time is precious.

Just like Anthony Warlow's 'This is the Moment'.

This is the time when the momentum and the moment are in rhyme. This is the day I want to live for, to see it sparkle and shine. Where every endeavour I have made is coming to play, is here and now. 

Today. 

SURVIVING OPHELIA

October 16^th was a very significant day for Ireland as the world watched hurricane Ophelia lash its fury on the island in an unprecedented manner. It was the most severe weather event to hit the country in over 50 years. Schools were closed and public transport services disrupted. More than 300,000 properties were without power and three people lost their lives.

A status red warning was in place and I stayed indoors as advised by Met Eireann (the Irish National Meteorological Service) and watched the storm spiraling on the cold horizon with the wind unleashing a torrent of its own. The trees were in a mad dance and leaves were flying like a pack of cards leaving behind a tangled mess.

I thought about the structure of the storm. I remembered there was an eerie silence before the storm set loose its full magnitude. I thought about the eye of the storm where there was calm and I thought about the intensity and duration of the storm.

From afar, behind the century old brick walls of my house I felt safe. I was inside looking out.

What if it was the other way round - outside looking in.

I thought about the times when there were raging storms within us and  others looking on  had no clue about the private storms of pain, disillusionment, disappointment and betrayal.

These storms can last last for days, months, years and generations even. Hurts that are not dealt with become fossilized over time. Think layer and layer of hurt piled up like sedimentary rocks that are formed by the deposition and subsequent cementation of material.

That is the eerie calm before the storm.

When we were warned about the scale of Ophelia I immediately took into the house, garden ornaments and smaller potted plants that  I thought would be smashed to smithereens if left outside. Hachi, my labrador stayed in the whole day too and he was most pleased.

I feared for my greenhouse. Friends told me that their greenhouses flew like flying saucers in the last storm, not half as forceful as Ophelia. I searched the internet for measures to minimise breakage and every website pointed me to the importance of the foundation of the house - how it was laid and how the house was anchored.

There are no methods set in stone to overcome the storms of our lives because we are all individuals and every storm is different. Just like protecting garden ornaments and smaller pots, we can brace for impact by doing what we can for ourselves and others. It helps to have a firm foundation - a bedrock of beliefs and values to remind ourselves that we matter and this too will pass. That is the eye of the storm. A place of solace and strength amidst it all.

There was great sunshine the day after, as if nature was compensating for the terror that it had inflicted on all and sundry the day before. I looked into my garden from my bedroom window.

The two towering trees were almost skeletal. The grass was littered with red and brown leaves which would make a neat pile for me to jump in. There was no necessity to deadhead the dahlias and mini roses because the winds had stripped the bushes bare.

I smiled when I saw that the greenhouse was still intact.

When I opened the door to embrace the new day, many neighbours had the same idea, united by the feeling that we were the survivors of the Apocalypse.

‘Hi John, Hi Pat, Hi Anthony’ I greeted them.

‘Hi Soo’, they replied in unison.

‘Terrible storm yesterday’, I said.

‘Tis ya’, they said and rolled their eyes.

Thank God it’s over.

THIS ARTICLE WAS ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN THE NEW STRAITS TIMES MALAYSIA ON 5 NOVEMBER 2017.  http://digital.nstp.com.my/nst/books/nstnews/2017/20171105nstnews/index.html#/19/

A MATTER OF LUCK?

When we receive excellent news, sometimes we wonder if it is true. This was what happened to Veronique Jacquet when she heard the news on the local radio that she had won a Michelin star this year. It was highly impossible as her restaurant didn't fit the criteria of a gourmet restaurant at all.

Mrs. Jacquet runs Le Bouche à Oreille in Bourges in central France. It is a modest, lunch-only bistro with 20 tables and a clientele mostly of local workers. Even the cook works part time and Mrs. Jacquet herself is the only other member of the staff. And so it turned out to be a technical mistake as the restaurant that actually won the Michelin star is about 120 miles away in the village of Boutervilliers and has the same name.

Then there is this bizarre story of Frane Selak, a Croatian music teacher who escaped death when a train he was on fell into the lake. After that, he survived a car crash, allegedly fell out of the plane, and landed in a stack of hay, while 19 passengers tragically died.  Finally, Frane in 2003 won about €800,000 in a lottery.

There’s also this expression “the luck of the Irish” and I thought it meant that the people    from Ireland are lucky. However, according to Edward T. O’Donnell, an Associate Professor of History at Holy Cross College and author of "1001 Things Everyone Should Know About Irish American History," the term is not Irish in origin.

"During the gold and silver rush years in the second half of the 19th century, a number of the most famous and successful miners were of Irish and Irish American birth....Over time this association of the Irish with mining fortunes led to the expression 'luck of the Irish.' Of course, it carried with it a certain tone of derision, as if to say, only by sheer luck, as opposed to brains, could these fools succeed."

The Malay proverb ‘Durian Runtuh’ means a windfall. Literally it is an avalanche of durians. Even now I dream of eating the rich and creamy durian. But then again I digress.

Every so often we wish for nice things to happen : winning the lottery especially. I have seen so many hopefuls at the supermarket counter buying lottery tickets. The idea of getting big money at an affordable price is too hard to resist. Raffles are also very popular here and for 5 euro you get 3 chances of winning prizes. Usually they are done to raise funds for a club or a specific cause. You can sense the spirit of hope and expectation in the air. However, we hear of many saying  ' I never win anything' maybe because in any draw, the winners are few and the disappointed many.

There are some people who are always on a winning streak - so we say that lady luck is smiling on them. Or grudgingly we mutter beneath our breath 'some people have all the luck'

Tempting though it may be, I do not buy lotteries or gamble in the hope of striking it rich.

In fact, about 70 percent of people who win a lottery or get a big windfall actually end up broke in a few years, according to the National Endowment for Financial Education. Scary but true.

I used to enter many competitions because I enjoyed solving puzzles and coming up with creative slogans. To that end I did win many holiday trips abroad and electrical appliances. Now I've passed on that mantel to my son.

I remember once when we released a fire lantern into the sky. The host of the party asked us to scribble our hopes on the lantern. We decided on ‘Good health’ while others wrote ‘Money, money, money’.

Luck is fortune which is an unknown and unpredictable phenomenon that causes an event to result in one way rather than another.

Blessing on the other hand is the formal act of approving and of divine grace. So, I attribute all that I had, have or will have to being blessed rather than being lucky. It lies in the difference in the mind set and heart where I do not leave happy events to chance. It is also an attitude of gratitude. When we know that we are blessed, then it is so easy for us to give to others.

So what happened in the end to the bistro that was told it had received the Michelin star?

When Jacquet’s cook Penelope Salmon was asked whether she ever dreamt of receiving a Michelin star, she said, ‘No, not at all. I cook with my heart.’

The last time I heard was that the lunch spot has received really good reviews on Google.

THIS ARTICLE WAS ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN THE NEW STRAITS TIMES MALAYSIA ON 11 JUNE 2017  https://www.nst.com.my/opinion/columnists/2017/06/247685/matter-luck