THE SENSE OF EMPOWERMENT

Great smells evoke good feelings. Fresh air, green grass, meat grilled over hot burning coals all form an inviting trail to captivate and energize us. My latest feel good whiff is a new car because it is more than the actual physical waft of newness. It doesn’t matter how many new cars you have driven in the past because the moment you collect a new one from the dealer, you are like a proud parent bringing a baby home all over again.

My last car held out for 8 years and as I traded it in for the new one, I grieved a little inside and told her she had served me well. In Malaysia, I had always driven an automatic but over in Ireland manually powered cars seem to be more popular. For the past number of years, I had to learn all over again how to drive in the manual mode and it is with great joy that my new car has a tiptronic gearbox. So no more gear shifting and I can rest my left leg.

It is certainly more than a body on four wheels. I approach it with a full spectrum of emotions, in short, a heady mix of excitement and admiration. Sitting in the lap of luxury and taking on the road spells freedom. It feels like an army tank and because the seat is higher, the perspective of what lies ahead seems more wide angled. The fun part is I can now look into the eyes of the toll booth and parking attendant rather than having to look up.

This car is my personal blank slate and it shouts empowerment.

What is empowerment?

It is to make someone stronger and more confident, especially

in being proud of who she is and how she wants to live.

Confidence and autonomy are pillars of empowerment. When you are empowered, you become a better person to yourself and to others. You are more prepared for the unknown and are motivated to advance and get going. You are more interested in knowing what you want for yourself rather than regularly comparing yourself with others or wondering what other people are doing.

Every year we celebrate International Women’s Day in March. However, we still find that many women are not marching forward and do not have a voice. These women have limited access to education and training and far more often than not, have decisions made for them.

Financial independence is key. It frees the person from anxiety that money troubles can elicit. It is not uncommon to see a display of bullying in bad marriages whereby the one who controls the purse strings is the one who wields power over the spouse.

The power that education brings can never be underestimated. It has been regarded as a ladder of social ascendancy. A famous saying about "study" in China is from a poem in the Song Dynasty (960-1279) by Wang Zhu, which mentions that studying is the most prized activity. Everything else pales in significance. I believe in standing my ground and making sound decisions by being educated and well-informed.

Exercise empowers both the mind and body. It brings a sense of strength and clearness of head. The discipline involved in exercise allows the person to have control over his life.

Empowerment is not about lording over others. It is not about drawing attention to oneself constantly and feeling superior. I find it most uncomfortable to be in the company of braggarts who are loud and pushy. A person who is smart and talented but humble is wonderful to be with.

Assets and trimmings may give an extra boost to confidence but they are just appendages with an expiration date. They alone cannot change our behaviour or character permanently. We become empowered when we set goals and follow them through. In Louisa Mary Alcott’s Little Women, we see that true empowerment of an individual is more from within than without.

Empowerment is a process. Every now and then we need to adjust the process so that we can benefit from it. Brigham Young wrote, “You educate a man; you educate a man. You educate a woman; you educate a generation.

I take great pride in driving my new beast from the east. When the rubber meets the road, every shred of anxiety is laid to rest.

“She believed she could, so she did.” – R.S. Grey

THIS ARTICLE WAS ORIGINALLY PRINTED IN THE NEW STRAITS TIMES MALAYSIA ON 8 APRIL 2018  www.nst.com.my/opinion/columnists/2018/04/354659/sense-empowerment

FREEDOM TO DREAM

When I’ve been away a few days, the first thing I’d do when I come home is to clean the house. I’ll give every corner a good dusting and mopping.

There was a time when I decided to clean the bird cage. I have always liked birds.

Birds symbolise transition or awakening. Wilbur Wright, the father of aviation said, ‘No bird soars in a calm’. It is about confronting fears and making circumstances work for you. Soaring birds take advantage of thermals and updrafts by flying in a circle. The rising air carries them higher and higher in a spiral. Birds that wish to stay aloft without flapping in normal wind usually fly into the wind for lift.

I had two budgies - one yellow female and one blue male. They were most delightful and they chirped merrily every morning. After cleaning the cage, I went to bed. The next day was one filled with anxiety when I saw that the cage was empty and the door was open. I had either forgotten to latch it or the budgies were so smart as to figure out how to open the cage.

Even though I had kept them as pets for years, the allure of freedom was too tempting.

What is it about the search for freedom that every generation gravitates towards?

Jean-Jacques Rousseau in his immensely powerful treatise ‘The Social Contract’ says,

‘Man is born free, and everywhere he is in chains.’ Maybe that is what prompts every human to pursue happiness. No holds barred. Unhampered.

In freedom is a perceived higher quality of life. A life that is better than what was before. A life that is different from what we see around us. A life that is different from others.

Freedom is spun from a dream that chases after a vision. For some, dreams remain as dreams because it is safe to dream. We can be in the here and now and yet dream of being somewhere else. The only struggle is within which others cannot see.

Freedom is about taking that step towards the unknown in the hope of achieving something more. Freedom is the choice we make and the responsibility we shoulder. Freedom is being brave.

Vanuatu is an island paradise in the South Pacific. For 45 year old Nigasau who lives there it is all about freedom. He says he is the boss there and he can do what he wants and he can get anything from the sea. In an interview on BBC’s Earth Natural Wonders - Surviving with Animals, Nigasau says, ‘It’s free.’

Albert Hammond’s ‘Free Electric Band’ used to unlock a stream of unfettered dreams in the teenage me. It all sounded so wonderful to leave the conventional path of studies and a career ahead of me, only to pursue music and to live on bread and water with ’a guitar in my hand’. Teenagers crave for freedom and I wanted to be part of Hammond’s free spirited happiness. It sounded like an over the moon experience.

Listening to the lyrics many many years after I had trodden on the conventional path of studies and pursued a lovely career, made me laugh. I was extremely thankful that I  did not give it up for music and the free electric band. They say that hindsight is 20/20 vision.

Uncle Ben Parker in Spiderman says with great power comes great responsibility.  

I would like to think that with great freedom comes great responsibility. I believe in being free to dream and to realise the vision at all costs. I am not talking about irresponsibility, whims. fancies and wild dreams. I am talking about that dream that we hold dear. I would normally give myself a time frame to realise that dream and face the uncertainty. No ifs, no buts.

The budgies never came back and I never kept a bird as a pet again.

THIS ARTICLE WAS ORIGINALLY PRINTED IN THE NEW STRAITS TIMES MALAYSIA ON 24 MARCH 2018 https://www.nst.com.my/opinion/columnists/2018/03/349048/freedom-dream