FROSTY DAYS

 

On the way to Dublin. He is driving. Can I have a fruit? He says. She peels the fruit and hands it to him. He eats it and hands her the peel which she automatically puts into an empty paper cup that once had piping hot glorious latte.  No words exchanged. Yet it is pretty symbiotic.

This is what I like. Peaceful and stress free and a lot of good stuff in between as the tyre hits the road.

I like to try things once, Sometimes just for fun and sometimes as a challenge. Now that Christmas is around the corner, there are plenty of craft fairs around .

There was a time when I had wants. Things admired, things desired. But there are not many things left in window displays or stalls that I would want to bring home anymore. I am content.

But it is still nice to browse and be inspired to make something new.

I had an indoor craft stall in 2013, just to see what it was like. It was quite an experience and I made a tidy sum. But I don't see myself doing it again in the near future because I like new experiences and before we know it, today has become yesterday. The ticking of the clock.

So I've made a number of artsy bits for friends instead. I find so much joy in giving. People remember givers with a smile in their hearts. I wonder how many homes have something that I made.

 

 

The days are certainly getting colder and shorter. The garden takes care of itself and the winter cabbages are flourishing. There's this occasional caterpillar that is feasting on the leaves. Very baffling indeed, How can it still be alive when temperatures drop? I suspect he must be wearing a warm red coat and shoes to match.

We've put out a lot of food for the wild birds and it is such a delight to see them. I don't know the names of some birds so it is handy to have a bird identification app. on the phone. It is with much joy to see a robin pecking seed from a swing that I made.

For me, the natural inclination at this time of the year is to hibernate. Who likes to be padded up like a Michelin man and brave the icy winds? I must convince the mind  that  as long as I am able, I must get out and do something. And I am thankful that there are so many free hobby classes to go for.

So as the year draws close , I look forward to hauling the Christmas tree home and putting up the lights. Most of all, I look forward to living another day, another month and another year with the ones that I love.

 

A CHANGE IN THE SEASONS

I must admit that I'm falling for Fall. In fact every year I will wax lyrical over falling leaves, warm hues, pumpkins and gourds. Autumn is about Harvest.

When the season changes, so too will many other things - my taste buds change as I gravitate towards warm honey. My Autumn-Winter wardrobe makes its appearance and even my preference for scents drifts from flowery Anais Anais Cacharel towards the richer Jo Malone's Orange Blossom. And I prefer to stay indoors, next to the glowing fireplace rather than go out. I'm also letting my garden rest.

Love it or hate it but Autumn will gradually pave the way for Winter.

Can we in any way change the seasons? No. 
Can we in any way change our perspective towards the different seasons? Yes.

That brings me to a conversation I had the other day with two friends about people. We shared our experiences about nice mannerly people who leave you refreshed and happy and enjoying each other's company. And the other category which is the direct opposite, and I won't even go there.

What makes people nice or not nice?

Is it education - and I don't just mean spending those years in school ? Is it upbringing - has discipline and respect and mindfulness flown out of the window as parents  put their children so high up on the pedestal, that they can do no wrong? Is it the lack of exposure that has resulted in a very insular society, so entrenched in its own ways and culture, resulting in stereotypical concepts about race or gender?

'We are put here in this place to change them.' my friend said.

I beg to differ I said. We can't change seasons and neither can we change another person.  But we can live true  to the good values that we have been brought up with, and hopefully that will leave some impact on others around us.

I was at a Women's Conference in Dublin recently and I came away with a nugget. 'Live unbothered '

This means that we should not let what is upsetting attach itself to us for too long.

We can choose how we respond to those who are nosy, who don't keep promises, who say things they don't mean, who gossip, who back bite, who envy, who don't like us, who are shallow, who are uncouth .....and the list goes on.

To do this, we need to recognise the unpleasant event or behaviour and tell ourselves that  we will not let it spoil our mood or our day. Once we choose this response, we can then let the bad behaviour go and we have freed ourselves to live life to the fullest.

Everyone is on a journey.

Some take a longer time to arrive at being a better person or friend. And if we live to see that happen, we are genuinely happy for them.

Some may never change at all. And hard as it is, there is nothing we can do about it.

We cannot change that unpleasant behaviour. But we can choose not to let that unpleasant behaviour affect our own mood and feelings.

So it's time to make that warm honey and thank God for the lovely family and friends that surround me. And that is the greatest harvest.

PET OWNERSHIP: BENEFITS OF PAWSITIVE LIVING

THE world seems to be a very bleak place these days if constant reminders to be positive are anything to go by.

We have positive thinking, positive quotes, positive effects, positive lifestyle… and the list goes on.

Reading the paper one day, an advertisement on pet food caught my eye.

It was everything about pawsitive living. I thought the play on words was very clever indeed.

I am a huge advocate of keeping pets. Not being able to have a pet as a child, I allow my children to have any pet they want (with the exception of snakes and tarantulas) on one condition — that they mind them.

So far, our home has welcomed many creatures big and small — dogs, kittens, guinea pigs, birds, fish, iguanas, hedgehogs, sugar gliders, rabbits and hamsters.

Even wild birds nest in our porch.

If I could, I would have loved a baby elephant as well.

Pet ownership has a number of proven health benefits – physical, mental and emotional.

According to studies done by University of Wisconsin-Madison pediatrician James E. Gern, having a pet in the home can actually lower a child’s likelihood of developing related allergies by as much as 33 per cent.

In fact, his research, published in the Journal of Allergy and Clinical Immunology, shows that children exposed early on to animals tend to develop stronger immune systems overall. An interesting finding indeed.

Owning a pet encourages the development of social skills.

For us who need motivation in the exercise department, a dog can be our personal trainer.

Animals can be an instant icebreaker, whether they are with you or when you’re just talking about them.

I have countless occasions of meeting and chatting with other pet owners in the park when I walk my labrador, Hachi.

Truth be told, the tendency of pet owners is to look at the pet first and then the human who is walking the pet.

I feel sorry for children who have not been brought up to enjoy the companionship of pets.

Sometimes parents transfer their fear of animals to their children.

I had a visitor who started screaming in fear when she saw my chinchilla because she did not like small furry creatures and her children who had never seen a chinchilla before, followed suit and screamed as well.

Pets teach us responsibility. The owner becomes the carer.

Cleaning the cage and making sure there is water and food are all part of caring.

Children who throw stones at animals or taunt them in zoos obviously never had much bonding with pets.

Gail F. Melson, professor emeritus of developmental studies at Purdue University in Indiana, the United States and the author of Why the Wild Things Are: Animals in the Lives of Children, says that “Nurturing isn’t a quality that suddenly appears in adulthood when we need it”.

According to Melson, “you don’t learn to nurture because you were nurtured as a child. People need a way to practise being caregivers when they’re young”.

When a pet falls ill and dies, it is a lesson on empathy, grief and moving on.

Pets also provide companionship and relieve stress, especially among the sick and elderly.

Many hospitals and nursing homes use Animal-assisted Therapy (AAT) or Pet-facilitated Therapy (PFT) on a regular basis.

According to my daughter, Trinity College Dublin has an “exam de-stress canine therapy” room. These animals of all shapes and sizes help students forget their exam troubles.

A pet is an addition to the family and should be treated with love and respect.

Most of all, it should be age-appropriate. I have seen parents being coaxed by a child to buy a pet — only to end up minding the pet when the novelty wears off.

A pet is not for a day or a week. It is for a lifetime.

Pets should also suit the owner’s temperament and lifestyle. I heard from a friend that a family acquired a big dog, but had no time for it and confined it to a small space.

Over time, the dog became restless and bit their child.

So, they had the dog put down. Now, whose fault was it?

Yes, nothing beats pawsitive living. While I’m still at it, I’m going to give my pet a day of pawsome pampering.

I might even consider treating my pet to a pet spa and a photoshoot if he behaves...

THIS ARTICLE WAS ORIGINALLY PRINTED IN THE NEW STRAITS TIMES 19 NOVEMBER 2017

https://www.nst.com.my/opinion/columnists/2017/11/304820/pet-ownership-benefits-pawsitive-living

A MATTER OF LUCK?

When we receive excellent news, sometimes we wonder if it is true. This was what happened to Veronique Jacquet when she heard the news on the local radio that she had won a Michelin star this year. It was highly impossible as her restaurant didn't fit the criteria of a gourmet restaurant at all.

Mrs. Jacquet runs Le Bouche à Oreille in Bourges in central France. It is a modest, lunch-only bistro with 20 tables and a clientele mostly of local workers. Even the cook works part time and Mrs. Jacquet herself is the only other member of the staff. And so it turned out to be a technical mistake as the restaurant that actually won the Michelin star is about 120 miles away in the village of Boutervilliers and has the same name.

Then there is this bizarre story of Frane Selak, a Croatian music teacher who escaped death when a train he was on fell into the lake. After that, he survived a car crash, allegedly fell out of the plane, and landed in a stack of hay, while 19 passengers tragically died.  Finally, Frane in 2003 won about €800,000 in a lottery.

There’s also this expression “the luck of the Irish” and I thought it meant that the people    from Ireland are lucky. However, according to Edward T. O’Donnell, an Associate Professor of History at Holy Cross College and author of "1001 Things Everyone Should Know About Irish American History," the term is not Irish in origin.

"During the gold and silver rush years in the second half of the 19th century, a number of the most famous and successful miners were of Irish and Irish American birth....Over time this association of the Irish with mining fortunes led to the expression 'luck of the Irish.' Of course, it carried with it a certain tone of derision, as if to say, only by sheer luck, as opposed to brains, could these fools succeed."

The Malay proverb ‘Durian Runtuh’ means a windfall. Literally it is an avalanche of durians. Even now I dream of eating the rich and creamy durian. But then again I digress.

Every so often we wish for nice things to happen : winning the lottery especially. I have seen so many hopefuls at the supermarket counter buying lottery tickets. The idea of getting big money at an affordable price is too hard to resist. Raffles are also very popular here and for 5 euro you get 3 chances of winning prizes. Usually they are done to raise funds for a club or a specific cause. You can sense the spirit of hope and expectation in the air. However, we hear of many saying  ' I never win anything' maybe because in any draw, the winners are few and the disappointed many.

There are some people who are always on a winning streak - so we say that lady luck is smiling on them. Or grudgingly we mutter beneath our breath 'some people have all the luck'

Tempting though it may be, I do not buy lotteries or gamble in the hope of striking it rich.

In fact, about 70 percent of people who win a lottery or get a big windfall actually end up broke in a few years, according to the National Endowment for Financial Education. Scary but true.

I used to enter many competitions because I enjoyed solving puzzles and coming up with creative slogans. To that end I did win many holiday trips abroad and electrical appliances. Now I've passed on that mantel to my son.

I remember once when we released a fire lantern into the sky. The host of the party asked us to scribble our hopes on the lantern. We decided on ‘Good health’ while others wrote ‘Money, money, money’.

Luck is fortune which is an unknown and unpredictable phenomenon that causes an event to result in one way rather than another.

Blessing on the other hand is the formal act of approving and of divine grace. So, I attribute all that I had, have or will have to being blessed rather than being lucky. It lies in the difference in the mind set and heart where I do not leave happy events to chance. It is also an attitude of gratitude. When we know that we are blessed, then it is so easy for us to give to others.

So what happened in the end to the bistro that was told it had received the Michelin star?

When Jacquet’s cook Penelope Salmon was asked whether she ever dreamt of receiving a Michelin star, she said, ‘No, not at all. I cook with my heart.’

The last time I heard was that the lunch spot has received really good reviews on Google.

THIS ARTICLE WAS ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN THE NEW STRAITS TIMES MALAYSIA ON 11 JUNE 2017  https://www.nst.com.my/opinion/columnists/2017/06/247685/matter-luck