DEFYING GRAVITY

We were about to go to church and I was putting on a pair of dress boots and carrying a pair of trainers as well. He asked: 'Why are you carrying another pair of shoes?' So I said, 'my feet don't listen to me anymore'.

Dress boots are for Sunday service. Sketchers trainers are for anywhere else after church - in case we have a bit of walking to do. At this stage of our lives we seldom have definite plans. When the rubber hits the road, the journey begins. Depending on where the road leads us, we will then spend the day there. I may not be a scout but I like the motto 'be prepared' 

Nowadays I hardly look into a shoe shop. All the money in the world wouldn't entice me to buy anything fancy but uncomfortable. All the years of standing in heels in the lecture hall have resulted in feet that shout 'we can take no more of such abuse' 

So we try to defy gravity. Promising concoctions and peels.....and hocus pocus we have baby like skin. 

I walked into the gym and the trainer said, 'Let's warm up with jumping jacks'. Everyone was springing up and down like magnificent starfish. And there I was  making feeble attempts. I felt like a flounder, much less a starfish. I could have sworn that the gravity pull where I stood was definitely stronger. Note to self: Try another spot next time. That must be the secret.

Then I was told to go for the sled push. While others were engaging their core muscles and pushing the sled forward as fast as they could, I felt like Sisyphus, a king in Corinth who was punished for his misdeeds by eternally having to roll a heavy stone up a hill. Every time he approached the top, the stone escaped his grasp and rolled to the bottom again. 

Later that day, a good friend in her 80s visited me because she heard that my pergola had been destroyed by  Storm Kathleen and in the sworn spirit of sisterhood, we united in mutual grief. As she passed by my green house and polytunnel she commented that the greens were doing well but alas, she lamented that she couldn't do much gardening these days because it would be too arduous for her. I sensed a tinge of sadness as my gardening guru had always been an avid gardener all her life.

Laments.

We all have that bit in us.

When we realise that we can't do what we had done before because physically we are not able to. When we find that we experience senior moments: like entering a room and forgetting why we did that in the first place.

But laments can be replaced by rejoicing. 

Knowing that we have achieved much. Knowing that we have overcome many a struggle. Knowing that we don't have to worry about the many things that we had to worry about when the kids were small - fevers, colds, school grades, cocurricular activities....and the list goes on. Knowing that we have been freed from having to apply for jobs and attending interviews. Knowing that we don't have to rise up early to go to work, to set exam papers, to correct exam papers and to sit on the panel for scholarship interviews. And also knowing who our true friends are.

He said, ' There are many things you can do now, that you may not be able to do in ten or twenty years time.'

How true.

I will continue to enjoy what I can do now and love every moment of it.

Ushering in THE CHINESE NEW YEAR OF THE PIGGY 2019

I’m terribly excited about Chinese New Year 2019 because this is the year where I celebrate my favourite four-legged creature. Pigs are smart and loyal. If only I could have one as a pet!

Incidentally, this is the best age yet as I'm finally eligible to join the prestigious turtle club. It is quite a milestone because only people who have lived through several decades are automatic members without having to pay subscription.

Was it that long ago when I was a member of the unicorn club and running the rat race?

The turtle club is something else. I would like to think that the mature members are calm and secure and completely at peace with themselves. In fact, I can even hear the primordial OM sound ringing in my ears.

But happily we still recognise each other as dementia hasn’t set in yet but for the odd instance where everyone has a senior moment as in, ‘Where did I leave my car keys?

Now is the time to dye my hair purple, and not just to wear purple like Jenny Joseph suggests. I’ve done my fair bit of travelling to touristy spots so onwards to darkest Peru or to the heart of Africa. All at once, I dream that I’m running with the gazelle only to realise that I might end up as fresh kill for some predator as I’ll be moving at a much slower speed than I imagine. The spirit is willing but the body is weak. I have to mind myself now, making sure I don’t trip over that Lego block that some child had left on the floor.

I will finally have that birthday cake with so many candles. It is good that I do not have dentures because the last time my friend blew out that many candles, her false teeth flew as well.

I am still delusional though. I can look into the mirror and try out the dresses that have been in the wardrobe for the last ten years and like Tanya in Mammamia, with great confidence I’ll flick my hair and say, ‘Baby, you do good.’ Be gone, Botox, I won't ever need you.

I love this delicious sense of calm, confidence and clarity of purpose. There is certainly more disposable income to enjoy the fun things in life. There are more good stories in my jar of memories - a jar that has a screw tight lid so none will fly away.

It is all about choice. I don’t have to suddenly become defiant because I have never lived for the appraisal of others anyway nor have I been pigeonholed in convention. I can choose to sit in front of the TV all day and lament about my aches and pains (I worship the magnesium spray) or I can choose to be among friends and do the things that make me happy. I am not going to re-brand myself, instead I am a new version altogether.

Do I envy youth? No, been there, done that.

Do I succumb to the allure of  cosmetic surgery to give me a boost? No, I can hold myself against picture perfect, air-brushed images of what women should be.

It is all about having gone through so many challenges with a new sense of achievement and self worth. Those difficult circumstances did not forge the end of my world.

I will not retreat into shapeless clothes, tweed skirts or brown cardigans. The creative soul in me is outraged by the misconception that you need to dress down or wear your hair in a certain way. 

Neither will I let reading glasses with chain attached dangle over my neck. Nor will I go round dishing out unsolicited advice on parenting in particular. My only concession to my great age is sensible walking shoes.

Is there still a greasy pole to climb? 

Being at home surrounded by my hobby crafts is entirely blissful. The creaking hasn’t started yet and I take pride in saying that ‘I am a free woman’.

I enjoyed my days with my students at the university very much but  ever since I clocked out of the office for the last time, going back to work had never appealed to my new found freedom. 

                                   HAPPY DAYS WITH MY STUDENTS AT THE UNIVERSITY

                                                                       (1983 - 2010)

I saw David Attenborough’s 90^th birthday celebrations on telly and he is still in his element and as bright as a button. There is no stopping for him and already he is planning some new wildlife episodes. 

When I am 90, I want to be like him. Charming and clever still.

Now that you are a turtle, what will you evolve to in the next decade? The beloved asked.

Well, I could very well be the phoenix, rising up from the ashes with power and grandeur..... 

Just watch and see, I said.