THE TRUE BURDEN OF HANDBAGS

I can abstain from most things but there is one thing that I cannot do without. The handbag. Not just one handbag, but I must unabashedly confess, a closet full of them.

The only way to get rid of some is to give them away but then after doing that, I crave for more to fill that gaping void and so the cycle of buying and giving away repeats itself. It used to be shoes but since corns, blisters and bunions appeared, I’ve resigned myself to sensible ones, which sad to say are certainly not the trendiest looking shoes.

Even as a child I love to toggle a little handbag across my arm when I went shopping with my mother. It was the perfect place to house the occasional treat or the handkerchief for the runny nose. (Yes, in those days we used embroidered handkerchiefs that were neatly ironed)

The fact that a handbag can be used to keep almost anything is also fodder for spoofs.

In the return of Mr Bean Episode Two, we see the infamous funny man at a restaurant. First, he writes his own birthday card, and orders a ‘Steak Ta-ta’. He finds he doesn’t quite enjoy the steak and so secretly disposes of it in the ashtray, the vase, the bun, the sugar bowl, the violinist’s trousers and yes, in another diner’s handbag!

Sometimes I wonder what people carry in their very big handbags. Maybe a big handbag is like Doraemon’s  front pocket that houses everything imaginable. Or it may be like Felix the Cat’s magic bag of wonders.

If clothes maketh the man, then handbags maketh the lady.

I would like to think that what we have in our bags reveal a lot about who we are. The usual stuff that we carry would be the purse, tissues, spectacles, pen, notebook and lipstick for a start.

The contents of bags we carry reflect the responsibilities we hold. A graduate school student’s oversized satchel contains her laptop and notes and a young mother on her day out with the baby probably has disposable diapers in her bag as well. When I was doing free lance reporting, I even had a pair of beautiful shoes in the bag as I hopped from bus to train in my trainers.

The mind associates the things that we see lacking in our surroundings with the things that we must provide for ourselves. For example, I can hardly find regular chilli sauce nor toothpicks at the café tables here.  So, before I leave the house, I find myself putting strange stuff into my bag - sachets of chilli sauce, toothpicks, dental floss and other unmentionable things. Sometimes the things that I put into my bag are not for myself  alone but for the others that I’m going out with, just in case that friend, that child or the beloved has forgotten to bring. An extra pack of tissues always comes in handy.

So what goes into the handbag often spells practicality and multi tasking.

Just the other day I was out at lunch when I found that I simply could not finish the copious amounts of food in front of me. Needless to say, my eyes were bigger than my belly when I saw the menu. In most places here, diners do not bring home leftovers. Whatever is left on the plate goes into the bin. That certainly would be a no-no for me so out came a container from the handbag.

The beloved said I had to do it discreetly but I said I have lived long enough to do necessary things covertly without a shade of shame.

Apparently the average handbag weighs  1 – 2 kg even though some may weigh a bit more. The trend now is to have a little bag for essential stuff so that the little bag can be taken out and transferred into any other bag. Small is the new big according to fashion gurus. Sometimes it is not just one small bag but a few smaller bags in a big bag as women opt for the modular approach.

To turn all philosophical, what we put into our handbag can be an object lesson in itself. When we actually give the contents of our bag a good look, we can repack it. Throw out the unnecessary stuff so that we are not carrying a burden but a thing of beauty instead.

That is what is going to take us ahead, not weigh us down. 

Source:THIS ARTICLE WAS ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED BY NEW STRAITS TIMES  25 October 2015  http://www.nst.com.my/news/2015/10/true-burden-handbags

FEAR IS LIKE THE MARAUDING VIKING

Looking at an actual Viking ship in the Viking Museum in Oslo is perhaps the most awesome experience I’ve experienced this year. Never before had I seen such a magnificent ship up close.

On 8 August 1903, a farmer visited professor Gabriel Gustafson of the University's Collection of National Antiquities in Oslo. The farmer called Knut Rom was from the Lille Oseberg farm in Slagen in Vestfold.  Rom had dug into a large burial mound on his farm and had discovered something spectacular. Thus began a long and demanding work - the excavation itself took less than three months, but it took 21 years to prepare and restore the ship and most of the finds. 

Vikings are among Norway’s most salient cultural icons and the Viking Age (800 – 1050AD)  in Scandinavia saw the height of warfare, trade and exploration. If the bulwarks of the ship could speak, I am sure we would learn so much more of the secrets and intrigues of an ancient world.

But imagine if I were standing by the shore centuries ago and suddenly I saw a fleet of menacing looking ships heading towards me? What would be the overwhelming emotion?

Fear.

With fear came panic, havoc and utter destruction.

We may not be attacked or raided by seafaring looters today, but then again fear comes in many forms and I am not talking about the ghouls and skeletons of the upcoming Halloween.

In  ‘Our 21 day into Minimalism’ Joshua Fields Millburn and Ryan Nicodemus  wrote about the Fear of Loss: Loss of things. Loss of acceptance.  Loss of friends. Loss of love.

If we take a good look at our wardrobe or storeroom or attic or shed, we can see many things that we no longer need. Yet, the irony is that they are just sitting there because we are afraid to give them up. The reasons being: that fashion will return; that spare-part might be needed; that thing doesn’t belong to me so I can’t throw it out.

The loss of acceptance has a strong grip on our conscience and subsequently our actions. A phrase that I hear regularly is ‘What will people say? What will they think?’ Taken positively, we avoid doing reckless things because we want to be accepted. But when we become overly paranoid about what people think about us and our actions, we become slaves to our fear of not being accepted.

We can’t stop people from gossiping. We can’t stop people from spreading lies about us. But we can be in-charge of our own responses. If we let ourselves be upset by malicious gossiping, then we have become the victim.

I have been brought up to decide and be brave and accountable for my life choices. That I have my parents to thank for. One advice that they left me was, ‘Even if the whole town talks about you, if you know you are doing the right thing, then do it. It is your life after all.’

Fear is a choice – we can choose to be afraid and we can choose to live without fear. That is a conscious decision and it comes with practice. Every time something challenging confronts me, then it is time to ask myself: What am I afraid of? What am I afraid to give up?

Then only can I move on to live a meaningful life that I am meant to have.

THIS ARTICLE WAS ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED BY NEW STRAITS TIMES 11 October 2015

http://www.nst.com.my/news/2015/10/fear-marauding-viking

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