ALL SET TO START GARDENING IN MY NEW GREENHOUSE

When we go for rides, I love to look at houses. The first to get my approval are those with neat gardens and thatched roofs. Clean pavements, tidy yards and good colour combination all get the thumbs up. With the days fast leading up to Christmas, many proud  houseowners will decorate their houses to the max with strings of lights complete with reindeer and sleigh in the garden as well.

Buying a house is a big step. Making it a home is another.  

Some might prefer getting professionals to do the interior decoration but personally I like to decorate it myself as every splash of colour and picture put up on the wall reflects individuality. So much so that one of my friends quipped that the beloved must keep on moving or I’ll paint him too.

I bought my first apartment when I was 28. It was on the top most floor because of my preference for great view and privacy. For those who have lived in apartments, they come with a peculiar set of problems and so I moved out of the apartment when I bought my second property in my 30s, this time a landed property and one that was nearer my workplace.

With every home, I had great joy putting my mark on it.

As I am the sort who cannot be idle, most things are handmade…from cushions to curtains to furniture. Now that there are no more corners in the house for me to indulge my creativity, I have moved on to the garden instead - my greenhouse.

It took me 6 years to decide to buy a greenhouse because it is quite an investment and I do not want it to be just a fad. I have seen so many greenhouses standing empty in my neighbourhood. Because the weather in Ireland is wet, wet and wet, I needed to learn how to turn the garden to my advantage.

So I enrolled for horticulture workshops and learnt about planting according to the seasons. These workshops were always a delight to attend because the teachers were very knowledgeable and I made lots of like-minded friends.

Every keen gardener has her fair share of success and failure stories. It is wonderful to know that you are not alone in your experiments with seed and soil and that you are not crazy to put in more capital then you can reap from your harvests. We all share the dogged determination to find pleasure in gardening. Somehow that forked carrot or mottled cucumber tastes so much sweeter than the perfect ones that you buy from the market. There is something magical about going out to the garden to harvest the greens, to unearth the spuds and to pick the apples and berries.

I debated whether to get a polytunnel or a greenhouse.  The sliding door window in my room opens up to the garden. When I look out I can see the flowers, the birds, the bees, the butterflies and the trees. I see rainbows very often and can hear the church bells pealing. Somehow glass gleaming in the sun is something that plastic can never deliver.I want to be greeted by something beautiful and yet practical. I decided to buy a greenhouse.

So we went hunting for the perfect greenhouse - checking online sites as well as visiting the suppliers. I decided to buy a good-size Eden Blockley model.

Finally, the greenhouse arrived. The truck driver was pretty friendly and burly. He had been driving the whole day - from Gloucester to the ferry terminal to Dublin and then to me. He carried the flat packed glass, piece by piece. Then he carried the frame and all the smaller parts. He subsequently left to return to the UK. I closed the door and looked at the array of equipment on the floor and felt that heaven had landed.

My greenhouse is up now and it is as exciting as a child waiting for her friends to come celebrate her birthday party. Yes, it is a birthday party after all - the birth of a new gardening experience. I have made a few stained glass and mosaic pieces to hang in the greenhouse. These sun catchers give the greenhouse a me-feel. The seedlings are in their plugs and I want to try and grow crops for all the four seasons.

Even when the slugs come and the frost falls, I will toil in delight. I live in hope.

After all, this is my Eden.

This article was originally printed in The New Straits Times Malaysia 30 October 2016

http://digital.nstp.com.my/nst/books/nstnews/2016/20161030nstnews/index.html#/23/

THOSE UNATTAINABLE CRUSHES

The story of  A loves B but B loves C plagues Aunt Agony’s column. I am often tempted to think that this is a modern day heartache among teenagers but alas it is as ancient as the hills. The French call it La Douleur Exquise - the heart wrenching pain of wanting someone who is unattainable.

I used to wonder why poets would subject themselves to bouts of melancholy because of unrequited love. Sir Thomas Wyatt  (1503 - 1542) was one. He was a famous poet and ambassador at the court of Henry VIII and he was one of Anne Boleyn’s suitors but his love was unrequited. In his poem “Whoso List to Hunt”, we read about a deer (Anne) being hunted down (by Henry VII) and being out of the poet’s reach because she says “Caesar’s I am”. 

 
Unrequited love or one-sided love is love that is not openly reciprocated or understood as such by the intended. The intended may be oblivious to the admirer’s attraction, or may consciously reject it. 

Even in the comic strip, ‘Peanuts’, we see elements of unrequited love. Schroeder the pianist feels nothing for Lucy despite Lucy’s constant declarations of her love for him. Charles M. Schulz, its creator says, ‘Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.’ 

I was in Copenhagen recently and saw The Little Mermaid, a bronze statue by Edvard Eriksen. Before I went there I had re-read the fable by Hans Christian Andersen, so as to refresh my memory about the ill-fated mermaid who swam up to the surface of the sea on her 15th birthday just to have a glimpse of the human world. 

 
There was a storm and the prince was shipwrecked and the mermaid rescued him but he was not aware of who his rescuer was. She wanted to be near the prince and so exchanged her voice for a pair of legs. Only the sea witch could do that and every step she took felt like a knife cutting through her legs. The ultimate test was for the prince to marry her, otherwise in the morning after the prince had married another, she would become sea foam. 

Fast forward to the end of the story- the prince married another and the mermaid became sea foam. Some readers argue that the mermaid wanted to have a soul and she could only have that if she were to become human. 

But yet the theme about unrequited love and subsequently paying a huge sacrifice for it rings loud and clear. 

I wonder why people put themselves through situations such as this? Is it self delusion or are they being hopeful? Granted some people who carry on the waiting and hoping game do finally get their prize. These are few and far between but at what cost? 

Adele captures this hopelessness in ‘Chasing Pavements’ where she sings about flying around in circles leading nowhere when love is unrequited. 

 
It is easy for someone on the outside looking in to see how futile unrequited love is.I think most of us would have at least a friend who has been in that situation. We certainly deserve more than pining for someone who is unattainable 

After endless days of listening and advising a friend of ‘letting him go’, you see her still trying to establish links with the said party - stalking him online, texting and following him on social media. Pretty much a waste of time and energy. There’s this quote that goes, ‘I’m 99% sure that he doesn’t love me but it’s that 1% that keeps me going.’

 
Psychologists say that the way to get out of the misery is to acknowledge the injury done to yourself and the need to take care of yourself. Take comfort in the fact that many had gone through the same situation and emerged stronger. The biggest challenge is to give up the quest of chasing someone who doesn’t return your affections.

 
Only then will there be closure.

THIS ARTICLE WAS ORIGINALLY PRINTED IN THE NEW STRAITS TIMES MALAYSIA 16 OCTOBER 2016...http://www.nst.com.my/news/2016/10/180594/those-unattainable-crushes