LESSONS FROM WINNIE THE POOH

I am going to buy an umbrella that is windproof that is designed to be resistant to strong wind gusts. In Ireland an umbrella is a necessity because there are so many ‘blustery days’ in the words of Winnie the Pooh.

Winnie the Pooh has always been one of my favourite childhood characters. Not so much the mass produced Disney version of the orange coloured bear but the original vintage hand drawn bear.

I don’t know whether Winnie the Pooh is as famous as Mickey Mouse but the fact that he is actually 91 (his longevity must be due to the health benefits of honey, his favourite food) this year earns him some space in my article this week.

Created by A.A. Milne in 1926, he lives on the Hundred Acre Wood which in reality is a cultivated pine plantation called the Five Hundred Acre Wood, South East England. Pooh Corner in Hartfield village is home to a large selection of ‘Poohphernalia’.

His search for honey makes him an unwelcome guest to the bees or even to his friend Rabbit who fears Pooh might eat him out of house and home. He is quite a celebrity even. On Queen Elizabeth’s 90^th birthday last year, Winnie went to Buckingham palace and presented her with a song.

But he is endearing alright and most of all his philosophy of life is actually rather helpful.

No overthinking.

Rightfully so, as he is a bear of very little brain and is stuffed with fluff. Most of us tend to worry too much or analyse too much. Truth be told most of the stuff that we worry about never actually materialise in the end. Sometimes we over analyse another person’s words and get ourselves all worked up. When we finally seek clarification from the person who uttered the words, we find that they may not be what we thought they were in the first place. Unfortunately, not everyone seeks clarification and so we may go through days or even years being upset over what we thought we heard. Sounds convoluted but it is true.

No fences.

“Tigger is all right, really,” said Piglet lazily. “Of course he is,” said Christopher Robin. “Everybody is really,” said Pooh. “That’s what I think.” (The House at Pooh Corner, p. 108) There is this air of acceptance in the face of staggering differences. It has often been said that a stranger is a just a friend I haven’t met yet. Far too often we base our judgement of others through first impressions because there are so many in-built filters in our minds. These filters could be anything from experiences, opinions, prejudices and judgements.

Granted some of these first impressions are right. It is most natural that we find comfort among those who are of similar disposition and share our interests. But I have met so many that I never thought I could be great friends with because they are so very different from me. Imagine if I have not allowed myself to embrace these differences, I would have missed out on such a great friendship.

No such thing as a silly question.

One of the greatest technique to learn something new is to ask. Children are never afraid to ask. But adults generally are more reserved in that area due to embarrassment or pride perhaps. I find myself asking a lot of questions because I want to know the specific.

Sometimes the person at the other end thinks I’m an ignoramus and gets impatient with me.

Recently I signed up for a postal service called AddressPal whereby I am given a postal address in the UK for online purchases. The website was not very clear so I called up the customer service and asked for specific information. I could sense the voice on the other end of the line getting agitated by my questions.

Then there are those who give very vague answers. The plumber tells me that he’s coming after dinner to fix my leaky pipe. To me that is no help at all because I wouldn’t know what time he eats his lamb stew and spuds. So when I ask him for a possible time he feels pressured.

So, how did I end up writing about Pooh’s philosophy of life? Oh yes, it is about buying a windproof umbrella and I should get it now before the blustery day comes.

THIS ARTICLE WAS ORIGINALLY PRINTED IN THE NEW STRAITS TIMES MALAYSIA, 21 MAY 2017.  https://www.nst.com.my/opinion/columnists/2017/05/241116/lessons-winnie-pooh

MAKING A DIFFERENCE

I've just celebrated another birthday. I was in Belarus at that time and there were no candles, no scrumptious dinner, no family members, no presents and no cake. But the heart was still in the right place because I would have already reached my full potential in Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, which is self-actualization. In self-actualization, a person comes to find a meaning to life that is important to them.

Hoping to make a difference to the lives of orphans and the neglected elderly I signed up as a volunteer for a week with PASHLI. "Pashli" is a Russian word meaning "Let's Go”. The aim was to improve the living conditions and expand educational and social opportunities within the target groups.

Most of us have a place to call our own. We have a home where there is a mother and a father. But not the estimated 25000 Belarusian children in state custody, according to Belarus Digest last year. These children may be orphaned or have parents who are unfit to care for them due to alcohol or drug addiction, crime or constant unemployment. In 2014, 2644 parents lost custody to 3110 children.

When we stepped into the orphanage we were warmly welcomed by a throng of children of all ages. They presented us with a Belarusian cake and speech. It was heart-breaking to see them rush forward just for a hug. We were possibly the only foreigners who cared enough to visit them in months.

It was inevitable that throughout the week, Maslow’s 5 tier pyramid of needs played on my mind constantly: basic needs (physiological and safety) psychological needs (belongingness, love and esteem) and finally self-fulfilment needs (self actualization).

Were basic needs met?

The thing that struck me at the orphanage was the lack of personal space or privacy. There was hardly a time when a child could be alone.  They were constantly surrounded by other children or adults. Even the toilets do not have doors.

When I visited the science room they were so eager to show me the class pets. There were beetles of various sizes living in a small plastic box. The interesting thing was that the children let the creepy crawlies run all over their fingers. It was the most natural thing to do . There was no aversion or squeamishness. Most of us wouldn't purposefully engage in such an activity. It made me wonder whether we modelled our fear after a significant adult.

One of the team members asked why the choice of beetles as pets rather that the more conventional house pet like the cat? The answer was obvious. Low maintenance – beetles need very little care or food. Were the orphans like the beetles themselves suffering from little care or food?

Food was pretty basic. We had potatoes, chicken, meat patties and pancakes for the week. The style of cooking was the same throughout the week.  If some of us wouldn’t want to see another potato, chicken, meat patty or pancake after the week, imagine what the children had to eat for everyday of their lives. I had less choices being a pescatarian.

The team put up new ceilings, floors and painted walls and fence. Although my forte would be around children and crafts I was roped in to put up a new ceiling and also to sandpaper the walls. Having been on visits to bunkers and pre-war buildings I was advised specifically not to touch the walls or inhale the dust because of the toxic lead content. So that was a worrying issue.

At the old folks’ home I saw how the elderly were treated. The air stank and even when I returned to my room after the visit, the smell lingered on my clothes.

Were psychological needs met?

We had a pamper night for the teenage female orphans. They were treated to girly stuff like hair wraps, comfort food, manicure and make-up. One of the team members gave a talk on the importance of self-worth and respect.

As for the elderly, there were lots of tears on the last day that we visited them. We called them Babushka (grandma) or Dedushka (grandpa). One grandma hugged me so tightly and pressed into my hands a string of plastic beads for me to keep so as not to forget her. It was one of the few possessions that she had.

Were self-fulfilment needs met?

Statistics reveal that very few who start adult living independently are success stories. Not being able to integrate well into society, they fall between the cracks and crime rates reach up to 80% for such children. Even when they become parents themselves, they end up sending their children to orphanages. This perpetuates the ‘institutional’ cycle.’

Now I am a year older and a year happier, doing the things that I like and being with the people that I love. But what about the orphans, the babushkas and the dedushkas so many miles away? I fell sick during the trip and it took me another week back in Ireland to recover after the trip. It could be an accumulation of many things: the dust, what I saw, what I felt and what I left behind.

THIS ARTICLE WAS ORIGINALLY PRINTED THE NEW STRAITS TIMES MALAYSIA 7 MAY 2017  http://www.nst.com.my/opinion/columnists/2017/05/237023/making-difference

A GUIDE TO HELP US IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION?

It's very strange but I notice things that others don’t.  I’m not talking about apparitions and other worldly beings but rather about everyday mundane things.

For example, whenever I pass a field with cows I notice that the majority of the cows would be facing a north or south direction when they are feeding and only a few will be facing somewhere else. I’ve asked around and no one seems to notice that or know the reason why.  I know that if I were a cow, I would certainly be facing somewhere else, rather than the regular direction.

But what makes these cows head a certain direction?

Many reasons have been given : herd mentality, preparation for flight in the event of an attack from a predator and maybe the grass is greener on the other side of the field.

Anyway there is a documentary that gives a highly probable reason. According to the documentary, this phenomenon is caused by the forces of magnetism. Cows seemingly sense the Earth's magnetic field and align themselves to either the north or south when grazing or resting.

German researchers made use of Google Earth images and looked down on over 8,000 cattle around the world. The researchers combined field observations with the satellite data and discovered that herds of both deer and cattle tend to align themselves with the north-south direction, regardless of the wind or the position of the sun. This is called magneto reception. The theory goes that if a herd of cattle is standing under some transmission wires, then the cattle will face every which way because the transmission wires interfere with the fields of magnetism.

"It is amazing that this ubiquitous conspicuous phenomenon apparently has remained unnoticed by herdsmen and hunters for thousands of years," write Sabine Begall, of the University of Duisberg-Essen in Germany, and colleagues in Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences^.

It is not only cows but other animals that portray similar behaviour as well. Migratory birds use magnetic compass information  Baby turtles know how to head towards the sea the moment they emerge from their shells. I read about an incident where some concerned nature lovers put wire mesh over the turtle eggs to protect the eggs from seagulls.  When the eggs were hatched, the hatchlings were disoriented and did not know how to make it to the sea. Apparently, the wire mesh interfered with the field of magnetism.

I wonder whether humans can sense magnetic fields.

The present day consensus is that we don’t. I am tempted to think that those who have a higher spatial intelligence have this ability. These are the people who have no trouble remembering routes or getting out of the woods while many of us lose much valuable time running in circles.

I think it would be grand to have some sort of an inner compass – to point us to the right direction or decision - then life would be very simple. There are no doubts and no mistakes. We will be simply doing the ‘right’ thing.

The phrase ‘follow your heart’ could be like some sort of an inner compass. But experience has proven that following the heart is not full proof. Mistakes abound when the heart is involved and when reason is thrown out of the window.

And what about following one’s gut feelings or intuition?

For me, this is quite an accurate compass.  There’s a classic called ‘A woman’s intuition’ by the Wilburn brothers. The chorus goes like this: It’s a woman’s intuition that rouses her suspicion/ And you never know what goes on in her mind/It’s a woman’s intuition that tells her something’s missing/You can bet that she’ll be right most every time.

The long and short of it, humans just have to plough on. For the lack of magneto reception skills, we depend on many things: experience, success, failure, happiness, sorrow……and the list goes on to help us navigate through life.

One thing I know is that as we get older we become more affirmative. We know who we are and what we want and don’t want. The difference between youth and seniority is that we are no longer unsure and afraid to stand our ground. We have found our voice and we do not need to be people pleasers.

If only navigation through life is as simple as heading either north or south.

But then again it will not be half as interesting or challenging when compared to what tomorrow will bring.

THIS ARTICLE WAS ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN THE NEW STRAITS TIMES MALAYSIA 23.4.2017   http://www.nst.com.my/opinion/columnist/2017/04/233121/guide-help-us-right-direction