When my children were babies, I used to read to them this book about a bear cub who has no manners. Mama bear decides to stamp four meaningful words on his paws so he will not forget them: Please, Excuse Me, Thank You and I’m Sorry.
Interestingly enough, I heard all four words being used on the same day itself.
PLEASE
I was doing grocery shopping and suddenly I heard an excited voice asking the sales person,
‘ Where can I find a packet of quinoa, please?’ he asked. The magic word ‘please’ shows respect and consideration. It is not only a social norm but it also reflects on your upbringing.
I couldn’t see him because his back was facing me. Then he repeated himself, this time speaking slowly and clearly, q-u-i-n-o-a.
It is not rocket science to know what the problem was. The sales person had no clue what quinoa was and to him it could be moon rock for all it mattered. The man was flustered and disappointed.
EXCUSE ME
Actually he was standing very close to the aisle where there were bags of Uncle Ben’s whole grain and quinoa.
I walked to the said aisle for the fun of it, correction, I couldn’t resist it. I took a bag of quinoa and headed towards his direction except to find that the disappointed man was gone. Since I never saw his face I had to depend on his voice. Then out of the blue the voice came, this time round he was searching for another ingredient for the great dish that he was going to cook.
I went up to him and said, ‘ Excuse me, were you looking for this?’
His face beamed as if he had won the lotto. ‘Look Mary (calling out to a lady further down the aisle) a good samaritan had found the quinoa’
Turning to me he asked, ‘Where did you find it?’
I said, ‘The rice aisle’
He said, ‘I was there but I didn’t see it’
I said, ‘You didn’t look hard enough’ and laughed.
I thought to myself, if the supermarket employed me as a salesperson, I would know exactly where everything is. I’ve met all sorts of salespeople: those who know everything and those who know very little.
I’M SORRY
Then I went to look for mussels and the fish monger said, ‘I’m sorry, I just sold the last bag.’ It is not uncommon to hear people apologising for almost anything. If I accidentally bump into someone, I may actually hear the other person saying they’re ‘sorry’ for standing in the way of my clumsy wandering. Other examples are "Sorry can I just say?... oh sorry, you were saying, no sorry... sorry, sorry, don’t mind me….sorry, you go ahead...sorry".
The use of ‘sorry’ here has become more of a tag rather than a real heart felt apology which is a different thing altogether because the latter involves humility and overcoming pride.
THANK YOU
So after the grocery shopping, I went to buy a rolling pin.
Salesperson: This is a lovely rolling pin. Value for money now that the sale is on.
Me: Yeah, I broke mine last night
Salesperson: I hope you didn’t hit anyone with it.
Me: I wish!
Salesperson: Thanks a million! (This ‘thanks a million’ phrase is really iconic here. )
In fact, according to the Irish journal, Dublin Bus research reveals that 90% of passengers always say thank you to their driver.
In fact, according to the Irish journal, Dublin Bus research reveals that 90% of passengers always say thank you to their driver.
Being polite makes the world an easier place to live in. Videos of neighbours fighting over small matters have gone viral and there are many ugly instances where manners have just gone out of the window. Manners when instilled from young go a long way.
In this respect, mama bear is doing the right thing.
In this respect, mama bear is doing the right thing.
