LETTING IT GO

I was reading Roald Dahl's Danny The Champion of the World again because I can never be bored by Roald Dahl's books and believe it or not each time I read it, I see something that I never saw before.

There's this episode where Danny and his father are letting off a 'fire balloon' on a lovely still evening.

Between us, we held the sides of the balloon out as much as possible to keep them away from the flame in the early stages...
'She's nearly ready!' my father said, 'Can you feel her floating?
' Yes,!' I said, 'Yes! Shall we let go?'
 'Not yet!...Wait a bit longer!...Wait until she's nagging to fly away!' 
'She's tugging now!' I said.
 'Right!' he cried. 'Let her go!'

There is this youtube video that is making its rounds about letting go of events or people that hurt us. The message is that we have no control over how others act or why they act that way. So to heal ourselves we should not repaint another's true colours nor waste our energy on those that weigh us down. It is not defeat when we have come to the end of trying and the person's attitude towards us doesn't change. It is not defeat when you have tried to be accepted but others continue to choose to exclude you. The problem is not us because we have tried. Most of all even if we do not find closure, we should not let anyone or anything that is not serving or growing us remain in our minds and hearts for free.

Eckhart Toile in A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose says, 'Sometimes letting things go is an act of far greater power than defending or hanging on.'

For me, the secret of being free is not only to let go but to forgive.

Every morning when I wake up to pray and read the Bible, I will purpose in my heart to let go of events or people who weigh me down. Then I will say, 'I forgive.....(by name).' Unconditionally.

Very strangely, more often than not, I will meet or hear about the person that I said I will let go and forgive.

The first instinct is to walk the other way and take a different path to avoid the person altogether. But with forgiveness comes action. I will calmly approach the person and instead of feeling the sting of  past memories, I am awash with a fresh sense of calm and peace.

The funny thing is if we hold on to the pain or the memory, the person who is hurt most is we ourselves. Sometimes the same person will hurt me again. Then I will repeat the whole process again and again so that I can be set free and I can move on.

Just like the fire balloon that flies up into the sky.

Slowly, majestically, and in absolute silence, our wonderful balloon began to rise up  into the night sky. 

'It flies! ' I shouted, clapping my hands and jumping about. 'It flies! It flies!' 

My father was nearly as excited as I was.

'It's a beauty ' he said. 'This one's a real beauty. You never know how they're going to turn out until you fly them....'

The Vet and the Terrarium

Pat the Vet comes over annually to give Hachi his booster jab. So he came over last month and after a general inspection gave Hachi the thumbs up and general instructions what to do and what not to do. It was when he was about to leave the house that he saw the terrarium by the door and was gobsmacked.

'Now this is a most amazing creation,' he said.

I went into lecture mode and gave him an oral detailed description of the procedure but being a very serious learner, he said, 'could we go back to the table and I'll write down the instructions?'

Hmm, a reversal of roles, I smiled.

I've always enjoyed looking at terrariums. A terrarium is a collection of small plants growing in a transparent, sealed container. A terrarium is a closed environment, and can actually be used to illustrate how an ecosystem works.

The terrarium water cycle works in miniature the same way the water cycle works on a large scale for our planet. The plants take up the water through their roots and release it through their leaves. (transpiration) The water molecules will condense on the glass (condensation) and run down the sides of the terrarium.

But so far I've seen only those with 'windows' which means that the glass container is not completely sealed. So I took to Youtube to learn how to grow plants in a bottle that is completely sealed. Sounds impossible, but it is actually possible.

What strikes me is the concept of balance and care.

1) We are what we eat. 

I always believe that having good health is not impossible. Staying off medication is not impossible. But everything requires discipline and work. It is so much easier to to scoff down bars of chocolates then to stop at one.

I had my annual medical and the best news is a clean bill of health. No high blood pressure, no high sugar level, no problems with kidneys, liver, lungs, heart, cholesterol, weight etc. The conclusion: no medication. The doctor was pleased and so was I. Whatever I have been doing for years must be working. And I hope to stay healthy for a long long time.

2) We are what we think we are.

Our thoughts influence the way we behave, the decisions we make and the feelings we experience. Why are most people so negative?  Why are there so many moaners and whiners and complainants? You just have to turn on the radio and people are always giving out about something or other. It is a society that is never satisfied and thinks that the fault lies in someone else, never themselves.

There are people who are always 'offering information' about how well others are doing or how badly they have fallen. This constant comparison with others: Is it insecurity?  If that is what you call small talk, I'm totally not into it.

Why?

Because I believe in making a life, living out the 18 waking hours daily and blessing myself and others. I don't like tittle tattle, I like friendship. I don't like passing on information for the sake of 'what's the story?', I like caring and being personal. I don't like people trying to 'fish information' from me. If you want to know, ask the person directly. Why ask me?  That's what I told one lady when she asked me about someone else. She was so shocked at my retort that she said, 'Oh...I don't want to land in hot water.' And so, she expects me to land in hot water? Even if I know, it is not in my place to tell her. That is not concern, that is gossip.

Most of all, what irks me is sarcasm. That has practically no added value whatsoever. Some may think it funny or cultural but to me it is a waste of time and I think it is rude when someone rolls up his eyes and says 'Thank You very much.' I have seen a teenager say that to the mother, and the mother did nothing. If she were my child.......

I think it is ridiculous when someone says, 'Your FRIEND Oscar has made his millions.....' when obviously Oscar is just an acquaintance, never a friend. Worse still, if I had fallen out with Oscar sometime in the past. I am plainly not interested in what Oscar has done. If I am, I will ask.

Then on the other extreme we have those who won't stop talking about what they have achieved.

I was watching a child who was cycling without the trainer wheels and she shouted to her father, 'Look at me, look at me...' . It sounded so sweet because it was a child who had achieved something and wanted to be recognised. But when it is an adult who is always concerned about me, my and I - it is no longer sweet.

3. We become the person that we mix with.

Friends are important as they mould our character. But I can surely say that if we continually mix with eagles, we will soar. Conversely, if we mix with turkeys, we'll just be content to peck off the ground. Iron sharpens iron. It is inevitable to be surrounded by all sorts of people. But it is our personal responsibility to be the person that others can emulate and to learn from those who have remarkable traits.

4. We need to share what we have

The foundation for the terrarium is also very important. There is a layer of stones for drainage because too much water will be a disaster. We too need to share what we have instead of grabbing all the time. It could be grabbing another person's things, time or attention.

There is no tributary that flows out of the Dead Sea. No creature can survive in it as massive levels of salt prevent the existence of all life forms.

If we want to be surrounded by good friends, we need to be a good friend first. And what does it take to be a good friend? Investment: a continual concern,  regular texts enquiring about the well being of another, time spent just for the person, prayers and thoughts for the person, words of encouragement, being fun to be with, sharing of knowledge, sharing of personal matters.....and the list goes on. Do not ask a person out for tea if your eyes are constantly looking at who is entering the cafe and wondering if you know them or hoping that you'll be seen.

5. We need a filtration system

There is a layer of charcoal in the terrarium which acts as a filter to absorb smells and impurities. There is also a layer of mesh to prevent the houseplant compost from falling onto the stones. How I wish more people would filter their minds, their hearts and their speech.

There is so much garbage over the media and if we are just passively sucking everything in, I feel sorry for the mind, soul and body. I am surrounded daily by people uttering four letter words, blasphemies and using Jesus's name in vain - from adults, teens and even children!. It is so common to use  expletives or crude utterances  that it doesn't shock anymore.

People send me all sorts of videos and expect me to watch them the moment they sent the videos. Like I said I have only 18 daily waking hours and I am selective of what I watch and when I watch. Most times, I delete the video after 2 seconds of viewing if it doesn't spark joy.

So the vet took down all the notes and he asked me: How much do you charge for sharing this vital information with me?

I laughed and wished him well in his new quest. When I see him next year, I'd be ready with all the questions about his terrarium.