THE JOURNEY

It was a cool morning and the final week of 2023 when my friend and I decided to meet up at a local cafe. She ordered peanut butter toast with banana slices and I ordered a bap with cheese and egg. Not one who has a great appetite for breakfast, I couldn't finish the bap and so I ate the good bits - the melted cheese and the egg - and left some bread behind.

Looking at what I had done, I confessed that if I had done that as a kid in front of my parents, I would have got an earful for being picky, for wasting food and for depriving some hungry child of food in a poor country. But of course, now that I've lived to a ripe old age, I have the privilege of leaving some bits behind on my plate. 

My parents were humans themselves and not everything they did was right. But I'm extremely thankful for the values and ethics that they imbued in me. Prudence vs extravagance. Tenacity vs tardiness. Respect vs egocentricity. Confidence vs insecurity. To know who I am and to be proud of all that I am. To know when to lead and  when to follow. To know when to speak out and when to be silent. To know when I am wrong and when I should say I am sorry. 

I wonder how many children are taught these basics these days? In the quest of making a child happy, is it out of date to teach discipline and to set boundaries? 

Someone asked me whether I knew of anyone  who would like brand new and used toys. She said if she gave away 80% of her little boy's toys, he would hardly miss them. 

So sad. That kind of money spent on toys could have been put aside for his future. 

I started saving religiously  when I was 6. I opened joint bank accounts for my children and they learned how to save from a very young age just as I did. And this worked very well when they purchased their first car or house. 

Upbringing influences what we do. Are we a good fit or are we misfits? 

I know of someone who had changed many jobs and was always complaining about her last job and the people she worked with. I wonder whether she ever paused to reflect. Could she herself be the problem? 

Everyone has the potential to grow if he wants to. Just like the koi principle. If you keep a koi in a small fish bowl, it will grow to be only about two or three inches long. But if you release it into a small pond, it will reach six to ten inches long. However, if you put it in a lake, it can even grow to three feet!

Are we limiting ourselves because of fear? Are we huddling in our comfort zone, mixing only with people we know from long ago and doing things that are familiar? In other words are we stuck in our own mindsets and perspectives of looking at things around us? 

Self growth is the result of failures and successes. I can look back now and embrace my journey in life and praise God for every experience, good or bad. 

Because without the briars and thorns there will be no me in the present. I have become who I am and am still becoming. 

Amazing, isn't it? 

THE CHOICES WE MAKE

 

Autumn is my favourite season and as I was driving this morning, the colours of the trees that pave the road never fail to evoke a sense of gratitude in me. Nothing can be more beautiful than leaves rustling in the wind and falling one by one till the ground is carpeted with hues of red, orange, brown and green.

I am thankful for the songs from Spotify, for the almost desolate roads with no traffic jams and for the free coffee I have just redeemed, having drunk 10 cups over time. Small things, but all the more precious.

There are so many things that I want to do and some weeks pass with doing nothing new and then there are weeks where everything comes together all at once. I find myself engaged in so many new activities this Autumn and the thing is, I completely enjoy all of them.

There are activities that I’m naturally inclined to and there are activities that I am not.

Let’s talk about outdoor sport and gyms.

Not exactly my cup of tea but there’s one thing that I treasure most and that is good health. I owe it to myself to take care of my body because life is a gift. I prefer to stay healthy than to give reason for the doctor to prescribe tablets for diabetes, high blood pressure, cholesterol and the list goes on. Many regular activities came to a halt during the lockdown so I decided to join a fitness programme once again.

Truth be told, crawling out of a warm bed on a cold and wet morning to head to the gym is torture. But finishing a session makes me feel good all over. Hard work but rewarding. The personal trainer is all encouragement as I’m not one who naturally gravitate towards mean machines and dumb bells.

It so happens that swimming classes have also commenced after a break and when notified I decided to take that up as well. No harm checking out  if I’m Olympic material.

Autumn is also the season where many colleges offer part time programmes for people who have learnt too much but still want to learn. So I signed up for 10 classes of make up techniques – day makeup, evening makeup, contouring, block eye shadow, socket line eyeshadow, 1940s black flick red lip, smokey eye, strip lash application and everything else necessary to paint the empty canvas of a face. Nothing like letting the professional make up artist teach me a thing or two. I enjoy every bit of it and it’s all coming to an end now so next week I’ll venture into learning  stained glass techniques, something up my street.

And so I am very thankful for the choices made.

To reset the brain– to see the positive and not the negative; to overcome fear and face challenges; to be disciplined and to have the opportunity to give and serve others in church, in the neighbourhood and at home.

I am thankful to be surrounded by a good husband, children and friends.

Most of all to know that when I reach home, there are logs burning in the stove and the room is warm.