It was a cool morning and the final week of 2023 when my friend and I decided to meet up at a local cafe. She ordered peanut butter toast with banana slices and I ordered a bap with cheese and egg. Not one who has a great appetite for breakfast, I couldn't finish the bap and so I ate the good bits - the melted cheese and the egg - and left some bread behind.
Looking at what I had done, I confessed that if I had done that as a kid in front of my parents, I would have got an earful for being picky, for wasting food and for depriving some hungry child of food in a poor country. But of course, now that I've lived to a ripe old age, I have the privilege of leaving some bits behind on my plate.
My parents were humans themselves and not everything they did was right. But I'm extremely thankful for the values and ethics that they imbued in me. Prudence vs extravagance. Tenacity vs tardiness. Respect vs egocentricity. Confidence vs insecurity. To know who I am and to be proud of all that I am. To know when to lead and when to follow. To know when to speak out and when to be silent. To know when I am wrong and when I should say I am sorry.
I wonder how many children are taught these basics these days? In the quest of making a child happy, is it out of date to teach discipline and to set boundaries?
Someone asked me whether I knew of anyone who would like brand new and used toys. She said if she gave away 80% of her little boy's toys, he would hardly miss them.
So sad. That kind of money spent on toys could have been put aside for his future.
I started saving religiously when I was 6. I opened joint bank accounts for my children and they learned how to save from a very young age just as I did. And this worked very well when they purchased their first car or house.
Upbringing influences what we do. Are we a good fit or are we misfits?
I know of someone who had changed many jobs and was always complaining about her last job and the people she worked with. I wonder whether she ever paused to reflect. Could she herself be the problem?
Everyone has the potential to grow if he wants to. Just like the koi principle. If you keep a koi in a small fish bowl, it will grow to be only about two or three inches long. But if you release it into a small pond, it will reach six to ten inches long. However, if you put it in a lake, it can even grow to three feet!
Are we limiting ourselves because of fear? Are we huddling in our comfort zone, mixing only with people we know from long ago and doing things that are familiar? In other words are we stuck in our own mindsets and perspectives of looking at things around us?
Self growth is the result of failures and successes. I can look back now and embrace my journey in life and praise God for every experience, good or bad.
Because without the briars and thorns there will be no me in the present. I have become who I am and am still becoming.
Amazing, isn't it?
