THE CYPRESS AND MYRTLE TREES

One of my favourite books is 'The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse' by Charlie Mackesy and I was very glad that BBC screened an animated version of it over this Christmas season and also an insightful interview with the author.  So I took the book out of the cupboard and read it again.

We normally associate this season with joy and all things good. Rightfully so. But then again, somewhere, someplace there is sorrow and grief and sadness and a feeling of betrayal and being sidelined. There is this missing of someone, missing of a place called home and missing of  what could have been.

'What do you want to be when you grow up?' 'Kind' said the boy.

We have forgotten what it is to be kind.  Hearts rendered asunder by  words and actions. Kind - An almost archaic word that it comes as a surprise when someone says, 'You are so kind' and mean it.

The fox is caught in a trap. The mole says, 'If you stay in that snare, you will die.' So the mole chewed through the wire with his tiny teeth. That is kind. If we choose to stay in that snare, we will also die. 

'What is the bravest thing you have ever done? asked the boy to the horse. 'Help' said the horse. 'Tears fall for a reason and they are your strength not weakness.'

When you share your pain with your good friend or your adult child and both of you end up crying, there is healing in the solidarity. You may just lie in bed and wonder if there is a reason to get up. 'Sometimes,' said the horse. 'Sometimes just getting up and carrying on  is brave and magnificent.'

Promise.

I turn to Isaiah 55:13.

Instead of the thorn shall come up the cypress tree and instead of the brier shall come up the myrtle tree.

Cypress: In ancient Israel cypress represented healing, uprightness, evergreen, eternal life. They are long living trees that are able to endure harsh climates and poor soil. Bald cypress trees are valued for the rot-resistant heartwood of mature trees, so they have been widely used to make fence posts, doors, flooring,  boats, and more. Cypress was used in the building of Solomon's temple.

Myrtle: a slow growing fragrant tree, that is always green, with big beautiful blossoms and a strong root system. Even when it is cut to a stump, its roots cause it to sprout again.

Brier(s): symbolize dearth and drought.

This is my Christmas passage and it has become a personal anchor to hold onto. It is the promise of Cypress and Myrtle instead of  thorn and brier.

So, 'What do we do when our hearts hurt? asked the boy.

'We wrap them with friendship, shared tears and time, till they wake hopeful and happy again' said the horse.

Emancipation

We have just returned from a short holiday to New York and out of my 3 trips to the same city, I would say this is the best. Why? My daughter lives there. No, I didn't do the touristy stuff as I've seen what I needed to see. Yes, there were plenty of other things to do and finding unexpected treasures in the city was a bonus.

Limitations. I like the term 'mind-forg'd manacles' by William Blake. Although Blake used it to describe self imposed social and intellectual restrictions that deprive humans of experiencing nature and the true human spirit, I would like to use it to describe the circumstances, words, thoughts or expectations that shackle the human spirit. And we have many.

It is a wonderful thing to feel free. It is strange but somehow humans consciously or unconsciously put shackles on another. Be it a thought or an action. I have a doormat that reads 'PLEASE HIDE PARCELS FROM MY HUSBAND'. Maybe that's why I like to shop alone. Because one wrong word from another person who goes with you on a shopping spree takes  the joy out of shopping altogether.

It devalues the purchase.

And so I entered a craft store. That is a very dangerous place indeed. There was this lovely quilting kit that shouted loudly to my soul. I looked at it and saw the price. Then I walked away.

My daughter said, 'Mum, if you like it, buy it.'

Music to my ears.

Then I went to a flea market. That again is a very dangerous place indeed. There was this lovely Autumn teddy bear that again shouted loudly to my soul. I looked at it and told myself I have quite a few teddy bears at home. Then I walked away.

My daughter said, 'Mum, if you like it, buy it.'

I started dancing.

Because she knows. She knows where I have been all these years, putting herself, her brother and her sister before me. It is time I think of me. Now that I have lived long enough and can afford it.

Emancipation.

HEAVEN ON EARTH

We were on one of our random escapades and as the Dacia meanders the long stretches of country roads, the rolling meadows reminded me of a prayer I made a long time ago.

I asked Him for a piece of heaven on earth.

And He gave me Ireland.

Yes, it's all there as said in touristy brochures - the serenity, the calm and the awe inspiring landscape. The smile of a stranger, the absence of traffic jams. Picture perfect.

A place to call home, a place where there is hope and where dreams are made. Not only for me but for my children as well. When their  good grades and hard work are rewarded. When efficiency is recognised. When scholarships and promotions are given based on merit. When they are not put aside because of the colour of their skin. No more disappointments and tears because of the injustice of it all. No more strife. This land of Saints and Scholars.

I enjoy the sun. I enjoy the snow. I even enjoy the wind and the rain. Most of all I enjoy the lush green everywhere. Tranquility. The healing has begun.

A land of friendships. Meaningful relationships. Friends who care. And a husband who will die for me.

 I put the finishing touches on a quilt, himself navigates Sudoku and Simon & Garfunkel belts out The Boxer in the background while the flickering flames lick the stove.

I asked Him for a piece of heaven on earth. 

And He gave me Ireland.

                                                                      Happy St Patrick's Day!

GOING KOREAN

KOREAN drama series are very addictive they said. I didn't know what they meant. UNTIL.

Because of the many cold rainy days, I decided to watch one series. Any excuse to explain this queer addiction. And so I am hooked!

Why are the episodes so engaging?

I must justify this binge.

1. The Complete Story

Nothing in any episode happens at random. There is a beginning, a middle part and a conclusion. Even if a character appears in episode 4 and disappears for the rest of the episodes, he will definitely reappear as part of the plot, even if it is in the last episode. When things become complicated, you can rest assure that there is a proper explanation by the time the series ends. The number of episodes is just right: 16 - 20 approximately. You can cry or laugh but you know you just have to go through this number of episodes. Nothing drags on. There are some western series that just go on and on until the plot becomes so ridiculous, just because the producer needs to generate so many episodes to please the audience and of course to make money.

2. Soundtrack

I've never really listened to any Korean song before but the Korean drama soundtracks are so engaging. I go away humming the tunes in my brain.  Then I google the tunes on Youtube to see the lyrics in both Korean and English. I must say I have it bad. Of course the actors and actresses are just eye candy and I wonder how they can have such unreal porcelain-looking skin. Plenty of make up, photoshop or amazing lighting, I console myself.

3. Values

I can simply identify with the Asian values. My parents taught me those values and I practise them. I find it so refreshing especially when the bar has been set so low nowadays. There are different genres. I love the ones done in the Joseon dynasty most of all. Yes, I have to google the Joseon dynasty and learn about its meticulous history record keeping techniques, why the eunuchs can have wives and adopt children and the dynasty's relationship with the Ming dynasty. I love history so that suits me fine.

4. Food

There's always plenty of food around. Not big plates that make you overeat but dainty little servings. We went to Kimchi school in Seoul and suddenly I felt that kind of kinship with the preparation of those delicious morsels of food.

5. Love and language

But the best part is the portrayal of love. We are bombarded with plenty of lust and sex in the everyday media whereby a meeting of 2 individuals who feel a 'connection' almost certainly end up in bed in the next scene. Korean dramas just make watching a love relationship delightful. We may have to plough through 8 episodes for a single kiss or a holding of hands. It's the suspense and waiting that makes it more alluring and worthwhile. 

I can't find fault with the language either even though I only read the subtitles. The moment I finish watching an episode and revert to a normal tv programme, I can almost immediately hear foul language and curses whether it is an office scene, a family scene or a lover's quarrel. Lots of yelling to boot.

KOREAN drama series are very addictive they said.

I have just finished one series and I can't wait to start another. Maybe when summer comes and I can spend more hours outdoors, I may be weaned off them. But then again, who cares? 

This is the beauty of hard earned retirement.

THE LITTLE THINGS THAT I MISS

We were sitting on a bench on Calle de Alcalá in Madrid, listening to a group of 5 musicians playing  Pachabel's Canon in D when I became quite overwhelmed. How long has it been since I heard classical music performed on the streets.? Too long I must admit.

While I have approached the pandemic with a positive attitude, I can't help feeling that it has robbed us of 2 yrs of normal life, especially international travelling pleasure.

Now that the borders are open, the amount of red tape would put anyone off travelling outside Ireland.

What I dislike: 

1. Uploading covid related documents onto the flight app. It was good that I had helped a friend earlier to do the necessary. I had my laptop then and it was much easier. But in a foreign country I only had my phone so I had to figure out all over again how to manoeuvre fat fingers over a small phone keypad.

2. Wearing a mask for the whole journey. Friends had advised me to wear a KN95 mask and it wasn't exactly comfortable. I had packed a variety of masks and so I had a choice.

3. Going for the antigen test before returning to Ireland. The test was not scary but wondering what the results would be was nerve wrecking. What if the test turned out positive? That would mean an extended stay and another flight schedule. The inconvenience!

But that is what you call a first time try.

I had to do it. It had been too long not to go for a well deserved break.

And I am glad I did. No regrets.

Madrid is simply beautiful. We experienced the warmth of a  kind family. I haven't felt so welcomed in a very long time in the home of a people of a different language and culture. The extent of the food prepared for us and the time taken to accommodate us spoke volumes. It is not everyday that someone invites you to spend Christmas with his family. Christmas is usually family time, and very private. Yet, we felt nothing but love and acceptance.

I was dazzled by the lights. It was not just  the likes of Grafton or Henry street or the Christmas market that was lighted up. It was a whole city of lights. The artistry and colour coordination knew no bounds. I had never seen anything quite like it in any European city. 

Somehow the lights just blasted away - with a vengeance - the sadness and the darkness of the battle we had been waging for the last two years and are still waging today.  The battle that had crippled many and had robbed us of things we are familiar with, of hugging each other, of simply saying hello without restrictions. 

And we even went for a Spanish Christmas service. I didn't understand a word of it but the Spirit of God saturated my heart. God is the same, in any language.

And now I am home again in Ireland. 

Feeling restless. 

So I must plan another trip. 

Nothing will stop me now. 

Nothing will hold back the little things that I miss.

THANKSGIVING

I can't believe that another year is almost gone. Not much difference from 2020 except that I've got  more accustomed to certain practices: mask wearing , social distancing, queuing up for vaccines, more handwashing, avoiding crowds and generally just being careful.

This year is slightly better as we managed to travel beyond our county and visited some very lovely places. Wicklow National Park is stunning. The coast of Kerry is magical. Beehive huts and standing stones are my passion. Not forgetting lighthouses which always strike a chord within me. I would say Malin head is the tops.

 

I've also managed to enrol for art classes and I took to them like a duck to water. I've always liked drawing and everything else that my fingers do. 

Then just recently a group of us ladies from Clare completed a quilt for charity, showcasing 60 landmarks in Clare. The quilt will be hung at Shannon Airport Departure lounge soon.

If I were to summarise the year in just one word, it would be being THANKFUL.  Just last Tuesday, I woke up with a terrible pain in my stomach at 4 am. Having had gastritis before during my office days, I thought it would pass. But boy, was I wrong. The pain was relentless. Wave after wave of excruciating agony. I threw up 5 times and tossed and turned in bed to get the 'right' position to lessen the pain, all to no avail.

 

As a last resort, we went to the Limerick Hospital. Somehow the journey seemed never ending and I threw up again in the car.   

 

Praise God there were not many people there and almost immediately I was wheeled in on a trolley bed. The Pakistani lady doctor was extremely kind and attentive. In fact she was happy to tell me she had visited Malaysia before and loved it. The nurses too were reassuring and there was not one cross word heard. 

I knew I was in fine hands.   

                                                                                  

So as I lay on the bed waiting for this and that test to be done, every decade of my life flashed before me. Good times, sad times. There was one common denominator though. 

GOD. 

 

In every decade He was there - the 7 year old child with very simple faith, the university student questioning God because suddenly she was overwhelmed by the worlds of  Yeats, Kafka and Thomas Hardy, the mother in anguish over her young children, the associate professor who took to the stage to share her research .

 

And now there I was lying on the trolley bed still needing and trusting God. The only difference was I was ready to meet my Maker. I knew I had lived my life and there was no bucket list.

 

But God had other plans and I was discharged. Because I was still weak, I had to cancel a number of appointments that I had made earlier. One of them was meeting up with my friend Carrie for coffee in Quigleys cafe Nenagh. I texted her and asked whether I could see her on Friday instead.

 

I brought a pumpkin for her from my plot because I knew she would love to make delicious stuff out of it. While we were chatting, a couple approached us and asked where I bought the pumpkin from. I said I planted it in our Killaloe/Ballina community garden. Her accent sounded like American or Canadian.

I know what it is like to miss certain festivals or food from home. I remember Kevin Lim giving me a mooncake shortly after he had returned from Malaysia. It was just a mooncake, but it was more than a mooncake. It tasted like home.

 

So I asked her would she like one, as I still have one more at home. The rest is history and I hope she will bake plenty of yummy pumpkin pies....

 

It was a Kairos moment. A tipping point or a kairos moment is usually discovered behind the scenes of an ordinary day. 

 

I am going to trust God for tomorrow.  

 

For 2022. 

 

For our days ahead for as long as we live, we will rejoice in the faithfulness and the goodness of God.

 

                                                               Have a Blessed Christmas!

 

 

 

 

FROSTY DAYS

 

On the way to Dublin. He is driving. Can I have a fruit? He says. She peels the fruit and hands it to him. He eats it and hands her the peel which she automatically puts into an empty paper cup that once had piping hot glorious latte.  No words exchanged. Yet it is pretty symbiotic.

This is what I like. Peaceful and stress free and a lot of good stuff in between as the tyre hits the road.

I like to try things once, Sometimes just for fun and sometimes as a challenge. Now that Christmas is around the corner, there are plenty of craft fairs around .

There was a time when I had wants. Things admired, things desired. But there are not many things left in window displays or stalls that I would want to bring home anymore. I am content.

But it is still nice to browse and be inspired to make something new.

I had an indoor craft stall in 2013, just to see what it was like. It was quite an experience and I made a tidy sum. But I don't see myself doing it again in the near future because I like new experiences and before we know it, today has become yesterday. The ticking of the clock.

So I've made a number of artsy bits for friends instead. I find so much joy in giving. People remember givers with a smile in their hearts. I wonder how many homes have something that I made.

 

 

The days are certainly getting colder and shorter. The garden takes care of itself and the winter cabbages are flourishing. There's this occasional caterpillar that is feasting on the leaves. Very baffling indeed, How can it still be alive when temperatures drop? I suspect he must be wearing a warm red coat and shoes to match.

We've put out a lot of food for the wild birds and it is such a delight to see them. I don't know the names of some birds so it is handy to have a bird identification app. on the phone. It is with much joy to see a robin pecking seed from a swing that I made.

For me, the natural inclination at this time of the year is to hibernate. Who likes to be padded up like a Michelin man and brave the icy winds? I must convince the mind  that  as long as I am able, I must get out and do something. And I am thankful that there are so many free hobby classes to go for.

So as the year draws close , I look forward to hauling the Christmas tree home and putting up the lights. Most of all, I look forward to living another day, another month and another year with the ones that I love.