PLUS ONE DAYS

Some television stations have Plus One programmes which gives you another chance to watch your favourite shows an hour later. This does mean that there are people who are happy to not miss a tv show.

Now, here we go again with another 3 weeks of Level 3 restrictions throughout Ireland. A change to what shops or services can remain open, how many people you can meet at one time and how far you can travel amongst other things. Restricted movements never go down well with anyone, especially if the changes are rather sudden.

Like many others caught in the same predicament, we also had a taste of it. Nothing drastic or life threatening, just some inconvenience.

We had a holiday planned out and so we had to cancel everything. Quite a bit of a last minute cancellation but the hotel administrative staff was pretty kind and understood that the fault was neither ours nor theirs. So it was penalty free.

So what has that got to do with Plus One tv programmes?

I thought there is some similarity there. 

You know, with an active mind, you can almost draw similarities between totally diverse situations and yet everything adds up in the big picture. Michael would say, that I would start off with something at the beginning of a story, which then meander to another and then at the end everything comes together. You just don't know how it spins.

Plus One Days.

This is my new coinage. Simply put, the days that you are meant to be somewhere else, but you get to spend them at home instead.

What does that mean to me?

For a person who is mentally and socially active, it means that I get to spend such days without any plans made. No  appointments, no visits, no gatherings, no duties. 

So I get to spend extra days simply doing what I like on the spur of the moment because I haven't committed myself to doing something planned.

Plus One Days.

Sleep. Yes, extra hours on the bed hugging my pillows. (I have many - different shapes and sizes) Who wants to draw the curtains to let the sunshine in? Who wants to crawl out of the comforter with the hot water bottle next to you? Who wants to get out of comfy, snuggly fleece-lined jammies?

Plus One Days

Music. Yes, listening to On My Way by Alan Walker, Sabrina Carpenter and Farruko. The song, the voice, the video, the lyrics!!

So take aim and fire away...I've never been so wide awake...The blood moon is on the rise, The fire burning in my eyes....And I'm on my way

Reminds me of the shower scene in Flash dance so many years ago. Where Alex Owens (Jennifer Beals) was a welder who wanted to become a dancer, but she represented anyone with a dream.

 I can be 16, I can be 90, but the spirit is still the same. Freedom, emancipation, unfettered, unleashed. No boundaries. To be Myself.

Plus One Days

Write and Read. Exactly. Write my blog. Write my letters. Write my cards. And read. Yes, read that magazine, read that book, read that letter....again.

Plus One Days

Appreciate. Count the moments. The moments I have lived, through pain and joy. The moments that seem to be forever. The moments that are fleeting. The moments when I am surrounded by the people I love. The moments when I am surrounded by myself, me, mine. I am very comfortable in my own skin. I see the ME in the colours, the sounds, the heat, the cold. I feel the damp of the fallen leaves, brown and almost brittle. 

Plus One Days.

The joy of NOW.

In the Palms of His hands

I was watching Nationwide on RTE 1 and came across the Bábóg Project.

The Bábóg Project aims to gather 6000 dolls. One for each of the estimated number of babies said to have died in Ireland’s former Mother and Baby Homes. The aim is to acknowledge that every child is a precious gift and deserves to be loved and cared for. (https://www.thebabogproject.com/) 

 I have decided to make 2 dolls for the project, small enough to fit into the palms of my hands. 

As I sit and sew, I pay tribute to each infant who was born precious and worthy of my time and attention. 

I believe everyone who makes a doll goes through a personal journey. A journey of loss and hope. A journey of sadness and letting go. An endeavour to bring closure to grief unspoken. 

What is a mother's personal grief?

It is when you see your child suffering and you wish you could be the one suffering in his place instead. It is seeing your child go through a myriad of experiences that could either make or break him and all you can do is offer that emotional, spiritual or physical support. But you can't carry his cross. 

It is when you see your child making bad choices and your heart screams, 'Don't do that, don't go there' but you can't do anything because he chooses to go there and all you can do is to just watch him go and hope that he will be set free from the trap that ensnares him.

It is when you see your child caught in the crossfire of another's anger, prejudice and hatred, through no fault of his own, just because he is born of a different colour or of a different gender. 

It is when you see your child falling through the cracks and ends up being on the other side of the law and his young life snuffed out like a flickering flame. 

As I hold the tiny dolls in the palms of my hands, I am reminded that God has carved us on the Palms of His hands. (Isaiah 49:15 )

The finished dolls will be gathered together by the Bábóg Project and will form part of a travelling exhibition before they reach their final resting place.

And I am humbled to be part of it. 

Canal Locks and Rain:It is all in the specifics

We woke up today to very cool weather and endless drizzle. 

Me: Where shall we go today?

Him: Let's check out Victoria Lock, the first lock on the Shannon river upstream from Lough Derg, to begin with. 

Me: (checking Google maps) Lock or Loch? 

Him: Hope the rain will stop

Me: I'll pray that the rain will stop at our destination (s). You have to be very specific so as not to deprive others who need the rain. 

I like to learn. Never being exposed to much engineering knowledge, Wikipedia told me that a lock is a device used for raising and lowering all sorts of watercraft (think boats, ships etc) between stretches of water of different levels on river and canal waterways. 

Clear enough. 

Anything beyond that, the brain will scream : Cannot compute. Information overload. 

The trail to Victoria Lock went cold. Faded signposts led us to muddy farms and dead end roads. Not uncommon. After all, we were not searching for what Father Ted would say a Class One relic. 

But we did find another lock tucked away in Shannon Harbour. Lock 35. (not to be confused with Phantom of the Opera's  Lot 666 a chandelier in pieces.)

The rain stopped. 

I was watching the engineering wonder very closely. 

It is all in the specifics. 

Behind the gates of the lock, the water was crushing at great force, as if trying to break through. Pounding hard like medieval marauders with a huge log of wood thumping at the castle gate, trying to break into the castle while soldiers defending the castle poured hot oil on the invaders from the turrets above. 

On the other side of the gates the water was very calm, totally oblivious of its raging neighbour. 

Me: Which side personifies you? 

Him: I don't know. 

Me: I'm the raging side trying to smash down the gates. 

The thing is the gates cannot be opened all at once or the water will just gush down. They have to be opened gradually so the water can be regulated and the impact gradual. 

That would be the most frustrating process for me. 

Because let's say I want improvement  but am met with resistance. 

I'll have to learn to be long-suffering and patient. I have to accept that some things might change but it may not be now. So it is this process of thinking, negotiating and hoping that keeps the adrenalin pumping. This is what is called the excitement of living. 

As we made our way home, we noticed that clear skies had become grey again. The moment we reached our neighbourhood, the rain started. 

Me: Did you notice that it didn't rain at our destinations but it is raining now? 

Him: Yeah

Me: It is all in the specifics. 😊

THE BEAUTY OF DESOLATION AND SILENCE COMBINED

 

Isn't it strange that when you revisit a place that you like, you get different associations and feelings?

 Just like when you watch your favourite movie over and over again and each time you notice something that you never noticed before.

I'm talking about the Burren, the place that never fails to evoke strong impressions on me. In fact it has left such an impact that this is my 3rd post about it in a span of 9 years.

When I think about desolation, I think of the state of being deserted, the state that draws a blank, the state of loneliness. It is like the aftermath of something catastrophic. A post Covid 19 scenario. An apocalypse.

And the silence. It is the peace in the silence that strikes me. Nothing but grikes and clints that stretch for miles.

Himself asked me why I wanted to see the Poulnabrone or the Portal Tomb again as I had seen it so many times before.

Every logical question deserves an illogical answer.

My answer is because I have changed from the last time I saw it but the Poulnabrone has not.

That is the reason why I keep taking photos of places I have been before.

There's this interplay of transience and permanence.

I would like to think that I am transient. And when I look at the Poulnabrone  that has withstood the onslaught of time, that is permanence. 

But then again, by a sudden change of wind or an unprecedented climatic disaster, the Poulnabrone that I saw today could also be gone tomorrow, flattened and broken into smithereens. 

The beautiful thing is even in this karst landscape, a flower grows. That is the last thing anyone would expect. That is what I call hope. And it is absolutely beautiful.

INSIDE LOOKING OUT

We went to a lovely restaurant the other day, just to celebrate the fact that we could go out and dine somewhere else other than home. The little things that we have been used to have become so much more precious. I was sitting INSIDE, LOOKING OUT at the people passing by. 

And I thought to myself. Here I am, reading the menu and choosing what I want. No holds barred.

Imagine many years ago, when I was travelling on my own presenting papers at international conferences on a shoe string budget. Especially during winter when I saw people laughing and dining in fancy restaurants behind frosted windows and I wondered what it was like, eating in the comfort of great smells and warmth. I was on the OUTSIDE, LOOKING IN.

Instead, I would have walked into Sainsbury or Mercato and bought a drumstick and a roll - that would have sufficed as dinner. Just because there were greater concerns of the day and expenses that needed to be met.

Recently a small company approached me to make fabric masks. What started off as making masks for family and friends had suddenly evolved into a possible business. (Sometimes I see myself as having the Midas touch because I am never short of people who want to buy my handmade things) 

But I said NO. Not now, not ever I hope. Because my 'working' days are over - days when I had to work very hard to make ends meet, to raise a family. Indeed I have made my million and the children are well and capable.

So time is precious. How I want to spend my time is precious.

Just like Anthony Warlow's 'This is the Moment'.

This is the time when the momentum and the moment are in rhyme. This is the day I want to live for, to see it sparkle and shine. Where every endeavour I have made is coming to play, is here and now. 

Today. 

IT'S HARD TO SAY GOODBYE TO WHAT YOU WANT FOREVER

In July and August this year,  I have to say goodbye to two friends. One whom I was just getting to know better and the other whom I've known for 8 years.

Ivania came into my life when her daughters enrolled at a local school. Getting to know her was effortless as she is unassuming and full of life. I invited her over to my house for tea and  as English is not Ivania's first language, google translate was a big help. I wish I knew Spanish!!

And before we could have more tete a tete, the lockdown came. But communication can take so many forms, if we put our minds to it. There was a slew of WhatsApp messages sharing fun things and things that matter.

So when we could travel out of Ireland again, I got a text from her saying that she and her girls would be boarding the ferry soon. I knew that would eventually come one day but when it came, it hit me like a ton of bricks.

Too soon!!!

We had another round of food at the Lakeside and when I brought her home in my car, I knew I would not see her again until I go to Madrid one day.

A.A. Milne said, 'How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.'

Friendship is such a beautiful thing. To have good friends is to be a good friend yourself. I cannot say often enough that good friends don't happen overnight. Like everything else friendship needs nourishment - time, effort, mutual concern. Many have neglected building friendships because of other pressing matters of the day. It is when all is said and done, and the children have flown the nest, and you sit down and say to yourself  'I don't have friends'.

Susan came into my life some 8 years ago. We just clicked from the word go. She is compassionate and we have exchanged recipes and secrets of the heart. Sometime next week, she will be returning to Seattle. We promise ourselves that we must meet in NYC someday at least!

So to my lovely friends who have left something behind in my heart...

I am....

- SAD to see you go

- HAPPY that you are going to have more joy in your life

- EXCITED that the future is bright for you

- ANGRY that you had to go through anything unpleasant during your stay here

- HOPEFUL that we will meet again

- APPRECIATIVE of the moments we shared

- GLAD that I've known you as a friend

- CERTAIN that God is there for you

- OPTIMISTIC that you will be surrounded by lots of love and support

                                               Thank you for being my friend.

A TALE OF TWO COUNTRIES

The waggle dance is a term used in beekeeping to describe a certain figure-eight dance of the honey bee. When a bee dances, its aim is to share information with other members of the colony about the direction and distance farther than 10 metres to floral patches where nectar and pollen are a-plenty. The dance can also convey information about water sources or new nest site locations.

So the idea of a bee sign post couldn't be more appropriate for us.

182km to Dublin. 10912km to Kuala Lumpur.

What has it been like living in two different countries for the last 10 years?

To begin with, the climate, the people and the culture are as different as night and day. And yet there are so many commonalities between the two, if we care to look deeper.

I think it is very easy to complain about any place that we live in but I choose to talk about the positive things instead. I'll list 3 for each country for a start.

MALAYSIA

1. The beauty of multi-ethnicity and multiculturalism

As Malaysians we often take for granted the nature of our society. I find that because we grow up, go to school and work  with different races, we actually reap so many benefits.

We learn to appreciate and be tolerant of differences. We learn many languages and dialects. Before we speak or act, we think about the other person. Will we border on the sensitivities of another? 

We learn to talk and we learn to listen.

We pause and take stock. We learn to live alongside each other instead of attacking one another through our prejudices. As a result our perceptions widen and we are more embracing and inclusive.

Most of the friends I have in Ireland come from mono-cultural societies. I have friends who do not understand why a Malaysian can be a Malay or a Chinese or an Indian. Nor can they understand how Muslims, Hindus, Christians or people of other religions can be great friends.

Because of the different cultures and religions, we open our houses to our friends during festive seasons. We call that 'open house' where we welcome friends to our homes and enjoy our friendship and a variety of good food peculiar to that festivity. We send greeting cards (or electronic ones)  to our friends when we know that they are celebrating the festival - like Christmas, Hari Raya (Eid), Deepavali (Diwali) etc.

 I remember as a child,  my Muslim neighbour used to give us chicken curry and ketupat (cooked rice packs) during Hari Raya (Eid)and our Hindu cleaner would give us mutton curry and putu mayam/ iddayapam (string hoppers) during Deepavali. In return, my parents would give them mandarin oranges and biscuits during Chinese New Year and of course ang pow (money packets) to their children.

2. The beauty of hospitality
I find that hospitality is in the blood of a Malaysian. We love having friends over for sure. We love to cook and to share our food. To an outsider, Malaysian cooking is complicated and time consuming. But we do not complain because it is very satisfying for  us to cook a grand meal to be shared with the people around us. We are proud of our homes and  we invite our friends to our homes. I remember my children's friends coming over every so frequent.

3. The beauty of the weather
I know most Malaysians,  including myself, do not like it when the sun is blazing for 365 days. Yes, we do not have seasons. The sun rises and sets about the same time every day of the year. Because it is warm for the most part of the day, we have a great variety of food served alfresco. Shops open for long hours and eateries are everywhere.

It takes being away from the sun to appreciate the sun. We don't have to watch out for icy roads or frost on our windscreens or frozen pipes. We don't have to wait for endless days of rain to be over. We don't have to put on so many layers and wobble like a Michelin man when we go outdoors. We don't have to watch out for orange or red warnings for storms and put up with endless umbrellas broken by the wind.

IRELAND

1. The beauty of the landscape
I love nature and animals so the Irish landscape is simply beautiful to me. There are low lying mountains and several navigable rivers.  The Wicklow mountains, Moher cliffs, Connemara, West Cork, the Wild Atlantic Way and the Burren are testimony to the varied landscape.

The lush vegetation and woodlands are great for walks. My favourite animals here are the red fox and the badger. 

On a quiet day, you can hear the farmer's tractor whirring. The image of patchwork farms dotted with Friesian cows and frisking lambs is a pure delight. The relatively small population (approx.4.7 million in the republic) means there are lots of open spaces.

I am also in awe of the standing stones and stone circles and dolmens - so many that are far more ancient than the stone henge in Salisbury. The air of mystery they unfold and the immense feeling of being so near  that I can actually touch them is beyond description.

2. The beauty of the weather
The Irish climate is  influenced by the Atlantic ocean and is thus very moderate and the winters are mild. We have 4 seasons in a year, but sometimes you can have 4 seasons in a day.

I like the different seasons because I can do different things and wear different clothes. 

Spring is when I look forward to new life and my gardening starts. Summer is when I travel. Ireland is midway between Europe and the States so it doesn't take too long to fly either way. Autumn is my favourite season because it is not too hot or cold and it is also harvest time for most of my produce. I love it when the leaves turn a beautiful shade of yellow, red and brown. And when Winter comes, I love the warmth and aroma of the turf fed fire and I literally hibernate and rest, to be well prepared for the next Spring.

I like the spirit of volunteerism here, where people really go out to help and it is not for the money. I like the politeness of the general community - a 'howya' greeting along the street in rural Ireland or an acknowledgement from the driver of another car when you let him pass.

I like attending church here because the leaders are humble and the messages down to earth and genuine.

3. The beauty of the Arts

Because of my background in studying and teaching literature, it is a joy to live in the land of literary giants - Wilde, Yeats, Joyce, Seamus Heaney, Samuel Beckett and so many more.  There is a large surviving body of Irish mythological writing and Ireland has its fair share of wordsmiths on the global pedestal and Nobel prize winners in Literature.

There is no shortage of musicals and plays and operas in Bord Gais Theatre, Dublin or more locally at the Belltable or Limetree theatre in Limerick. We go regularly for these and really enjoy the variety and quality of the programmes.

We also enjoy the fairs - whether they are small scale country fairs or large ones like The National Ploughing Festival or Bloom.

So, both Malaysia and Ireland are close to my heart.

I am blessed to be able in live in both countries.

Most importantly, I am surrounded by people who love me in both countries.