LIFE OVERSEAS - GUIDING LIGHT

Pei Yi visited us recently and we had loads of fun. Audrey decided to write an article for New Straits Times Malaysia and it was carried on 28 August 2011........
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AN emigrant often hears cries of “I will come to visit you soon!” from friends.

But typically, words remain words and rarely become actions.

However, my friend Emily Tian Pei Yi from the University of Bristol, England did visit my turf, Ireland.
And because I was no longer a stranger to the country, I became her tour guide.

Our first stop was King John’s Castle, Limerick as we explored the grounds and narrow spiralling staircases made of stone.

It is intriguing to imagine how the maidens of old walked in gowns and high heels.

There is a section in the fort where visitors can experience how it felt to be a prisoner in medieval times, restrained with wooden stocks.

As Ireland is famous for its green pastures and picturesque towns, taking a stroll by a lake and witnessing the battle of seagulls versus ducks for breadcrumbs is a must.

Our next destination had something to do with FarmVille, the well-known game on Facebook.

But instead of staring at an LCD screen and clicking away with the mouse, we experienced it first-hand.

We were given the golden chance to ride behind the wheels of a tractor.

That was just the start of the tour.

Later, the farm owner handed us a bag of scrumptious biscuits and we were left in a field of starving animals.

The sheep were most peculiar as the average sheep would make a break for it at the sound of a human. But these ones came running at us with mouths open wide with only one thing on their minds — get the biscuits.

Fun and laughter aside, a farmer’s job is a challenging one.

After all the petting, the owner’s eyebrows began to furrow as she said: “There is one sheep short.”

After recounting several times, she let out a relieved sigh. “All 26 sheep are accounted for.”

What astounded me was that she knew all of them by name.

As for us, we got to enjoy ourselves for the day — we petted the sheep and fed the donkeys — but the hard work is the upkeep of the animals.
Our next stop? Limerick Milk Market.

Giggles and snorts were in the air as we compared it with the pasar malam.
In Limerick Milk Market, stalls sell multicoloured cheeses, hand-knitted teapot cosies and steaming cups of hot cocoa, for example.

In Malaysia, we get crispy fried chicken, refreshing lemonade jelly drink and delectable apam balik.

Both markets are special in their own way with their unique aroma and charm.

But sadly, the holiday had to come to an end as Tian had to return to Bristol.

She wrote a card expressing her gratitude for my hospitality and appreciation for the tours.

Reading her note made me feel like I should be the one to thank her.

This is because as I walked through the streets, visited the towns and different parts of Ireland, I too learnt that there is always something new to look forward to.

When Tian arrived in Ireland, I thought that I would show her what I was familiar with.

Never did I know that I would one day stroke sheep without them running away or that there are multicoloured cheeses just a stone’s throw away

THE CIRCLE OF LOVE DOES NOT EXCLUDE

The circle has always been a symbol of sorts. While we have the Lion King’s infamous Circle of Life and the circle of prehistoric stones that stand at Stonehenge, we also encounter man-made circles.

I am talking about those who belong to the “inner circle” and those who are left to stand outside, looking in. Society has the tendency to exclude those who are different.


Rather than trying to understand and embrace another, the easier stand is to set up boundaries so impossible to penetrate, not unlike barbed wires.

The question is: are these barbed wires manacles of the mind, keeping outside ideas from infiltrating? Barbed wires set up to reject the new can only lead to a loss, a loss of knowledge and understanding.


With a few unpleasant exceptions, a foreigner to Malaysia is usually made to feel welcome.


The tag words of the Malaysian national carrier: “Arrive as a guest, leave as a friend” could not have summed it up any better.

Sadly, the same cannot be said of Malaysians trying to fit into a foreign country. August is the month where students who intend to study overseas start to prepare themselves to leave home.


Through my conversations with Malaysians who have studied or are still studying abroad, although much effort is put into acculturation, there seems to be an invisible line that is difficult to cross.


The inner circle, i.e. people of the host country, consciously or unconsciously remains sacrosanct.

I can only attribute this to a lack of exposure to other races. Most countries consist of a mono cultural background. If you do not happen to be interested in the practices or pursuits of the people of the land, therein lies a dearth in conversation topics or social bonding.


I am not defending a kampung attitude while studying overseas, but perhaps these young Malaysians have tried to break into such sacred circles, and have given up in the process.


I attended a talk on teaching children with special needs and the current move is to include, and not to exclude, such children from the mainstream crowd. So, we have children with special needs sitting side by side with other able-bodied children during class time. This is a classic example of inclusion.


We exclude because of a lack of love, understanding, prejudice and fear. We include because we care for the person, we treat others as equals, we want to make a difference and learn from each other.

The Greeks, in all their wisdom, coined four words for love: Storgé (affection), Phileo (friendship), Eros (sexual love) and Agape (unconditional love).


We can only know someone if we spend enough time with her. The process of communication can be impeded by language barrier.

I have heard of a German exchange student say that because she has difficulty expressing herself in English, students of the host country simply do not have the patience to hear her out.


If we do not bother to know a person, her thoughts or her ideas, then we will not include her in the inner circle.


When a baby cries in the company of other babies, the mother of the baby will come running because she recognises the cry.


A shepherd will make sure that every sheep has entered the pen and if any is missing, he will go and find the lost sheep. The bottomline is when we know someone, then only can we love her.

What am I saying? In simple terms, it takes time and effort to know a person. It takes resolve to offer that hand of friendship and the warmth of affection.


Modern man has no time or tenacity to bother about another quite unlike himself.


Sadly, that is his loss.

SOURCE: THE NEW STRAITS TIMES 28 AUG 2011 http://www.highbeam.com/doc/1P1-196819535.html

LIFE OVERSEAS: AT HOME ON EMERALD ISLE

My 17 year old, Audrey also writes fortnightly for New Straits Times Malaysia. This is her second article in YOU, Learning Curve.

MANY Malaysian students aspire to study abroad — Australia, the United Kingdom and the United States to name a few. I have been studying in Ireland for a year now. The adage “absence makes the heart grow fonder” is true indeed now that I am 10,940km away from Malaysia where I have been living for the past 16 years of my life. Ireland with all its rustic charm is different indeed.

Firstly, I was transported from a bustling city with skyscrapers and congested streets to a heritage town in the countryside filled with verdant greens, lowing Friesian cows, neighing horses and bleating lambs.

Then culture shock came. When I first arrived, I had a stereotyped image of the people in Ireland and its culture, which was greatly influenced by the media and the books that I had read.

Malaysia is known for its friendly people. Hospitality comes naturally to Malaysians as we are brought up in a multicultural society. Malaysians can just click in an instant. For me, it takes a mere five minutes to be engaged in an interesting conversation, once the introductions are over, especially when it involves the same age group.

Hanging out with friends at any time after school was a norm. One of our favourite haunts was the mamak eatery where food and drinks are sold twenty-four seven at reasonable prices in an open environment. Not so in the town where I live in Ireland. Although strangers on the street greet each other “Hello” or “How are ya?”, Asians are as scarce as hen’s teeth.

When I first arrived, I wanted to build bridges but it was only after endless attempts that a friendship was formed followed by a deeper bond. I felt that I had to put a lot of effort and thought into a conversation. Shopping malls and eateries close by 6pm. Only smoke-free bars and pubs open for longer hours. It is therefore difficult for students to find suitable places to meet their peers. But the scenery in Ireland is breathtaking. The fresh air and the green belt are amazing.

But when the summer holidays came, I could not wait to return to my hometown, Subang Jaya. As the national carrier touched down at Kuala Lumpur International Airport, my heart missed a beat as I heard the words, “And to all Malaysians, welcome home”.

Expectations were already set on the number of days which would be spent at home. Images of wolfing down nasi lemak, chee cheong fan and roti canai topped my list — a break from boiled cabbage, mashed potatoes and mushy peas typical of Irish menu.

The anticipation of seeing familiar faces at the arrival gate was high. The first day was emotional as I had not told many of my friends about my return and there were screams and tears in every direction as we hugged each other. It struck me there and then that home is irreplaceable. I might have been absent for the past year but it was as if I had never left. Days were packed with fun-filled activities. My motto was to make the best of it and be on the go throughout the six-week holiday.

It is said that the grass is greener on the other side but that is not necessarily true. After being in Ireland for a year, I can say that it is all a matter of perception. It is what we want to make of our environment that matters most. We should stop looking at the world through a negative lens. It is about a change in focus to realise that there is so much to be thankful for.

Initially, I felt that Ireland would never become a place that I could call home. Now I can say that I am rich in my experiences and I am thankful that I can call both Malaysia and Ireland home.

All it took was time.

EXPAND YOUR BORDERS

IT is always nice to find a reason to celebrate, to decorate a town and to mingle with the local crowd.
We recently celebrated the Brian Boru festival. Brian Boru (941-1014) was the last High King of Ireland. In memory of what he had done for Ireland, there was a line-up of interesting events for both the young and not so young, from concerts to fire throwing dances to falcon training to art trails.

The festivity and revelry got most of us to the streets, and encouraged by the fine weather, we found every excuse to stay outdoors for as long as possible, enjoying the programmes till the wee hours of the morning.

What was really amazing was that I found out that the people I knew who worked behind cold steely counters during the day exuberated warmth and passion in the arts by night. The dependable post mistress who drives a green van and delivers mail across hill and dale is also a very talented actress on stage. The town news correspondent, who is a familiar face at interesting events, interviewing people and scribbling in her notebook, is also a choir master. The manager of an Arts Centre is also a self taught artist who has put up her work for sale on the art trail.The transition is so fluid and if I had not known who or where they work, I would have thought they were professional artistes! It was surely an out-of-the box experience for me to see the same people I know by day become quite something else by night.

The closest image that I have of such versatility must have been one of the late Tan Sri P. Ramlee's films, Masam Masam Manis, where Sha'ari, the protagonist, is a teacher by day and a night club musician by night.

If I can remember correctly, my mind has been programmed to accept that dentists are dentists and road sweepers are road sweepers with a few exceptions to the rule. Over here, borders delineating what is expected or not expected do not seem to exist.

At poetry readings, I do not only see lecturers and students but the man-on-the-street who just enjoys poetry over a cup of tea. I know of one burly man who reads Helen Steiner Rice's poetry before he falls asleep and he is not an academic. People in suits and people in jeans read on the bus, on the tram and on the underground train.

Maybe it is because of the school system. There is no rigid streaming of the arts or sciences according to public examination results. A student who has done well in her junior certificate (similar to Penilaian Menengah Rendah) can pursue all science subjects, all arts subjects or a mixture of both the sciences and the arts for her next grade. There is no stigma attached to whatever stream of studies and the chosen course does not make one more superior or inferior.

Maybe it is because of the environment. There is certainly no dearth of the arts here. After all, the artistes' exemption scheme, which has been in place for 40 years, marks Ireland out as unique in Europe in its support for its artistes, the rationale behind the legislation was, inter alia, to create an environment in which the arts could flourish, and artistes living on modest incomes can practise their creative skills.

Maybe it is because of the parents' mindsets. Experience, practicality, economic necessity and well-told stories have influenced the parent's mind concerning career guidance. So we tell our children: if you choose profession A, you will succeed and if you choose profession B you will most likely die a pauper. So with good intentions, we navigate our children towards certain routes to success and steer them away from participation in activities that will distract.

As I see the wealth of opportunities and encouragement here and how young people are cheered on to explore their capabilities and talents, I will hold out a candle to the parent, the teacher, the friend or the significant adult who has made a difference in the life of that individual.

Next year, when the celebrations come around again, I think I must muster enough courage to join a stage play or to enquire humbly if my painting is good enough to be put on the art trail.

WATERFORD NEWS