The circle has always been a symbol of sorts. While we have the Lion King’s infamous Circle of Life and the circle of prehistoric stones that stand at Stonehenge, we also encounter man-made circles.
I am talking about those who belong to the “inner circle” and those who are left to stand outside, looking in. Society has the tendency to exclude those who are different.
Rather than trying to understand and embrace another, the easier stand is to set up boundaries so impossible to penetrate, not unlike barbed wires.
The question is: are these barbed wires manacles of the mind, keeping outside ideas from infiltrating? Barbed wires set up to reject the new can only lead to a loss, a loss of knowledge and understanding.
With a few unpleasant exceptions, a foreigner to Malaysia is usually made to feel welcome.
The tag words of the Malaysian national carrier: “Arrive as a guest, leave as a friend” could not have summed it up any better.
Sadly, the same cannot be said of Malaysians trying to fit into a foreign country. August is the month where students who intend to study overseas start to prepare themselves to leave home.
Through my conversations with Malaysians who have studied or are still studying abroad, although much effort is put into acculturation, there seems to be an invisible line that is difficult to cross.
The inner circle, i.e. people of the host country, consciously or unconsciously remains sacrosanct.
I can only attribute this to a lack of exposure to other races. Most countries consist of a mono cultural background. If you do not happen to be interested in the practices or pursuits of the people of the land, therein lies a dearth in conversation topics or social bonding.
I am not defending a kampung attitude while studying overseas, but perhaps these young Malaysians have tried to break into such sacred circles, and have given up in the process.
I attended a talk on teaching children with special needs and the current move is to include, and not to exclude, such children from the mainstream crowd. So, we have children with special needs sitting side by side with other able-bodied children during class time. This is a classic example of inclusion.
We exclude because of a lack of love, understanding, prejudice and fear. We include because we care for the person, we treat others as equals, we want to make a difference and learn from each other.
The Greeks, in all their wisdom, coined four words for love: Storgé (affection), Phileo (friendship), Eros (sexual love) and Agape (unconditional love).
We can only know someone if we spend enough time with her. The process of communication can be impeded by language barrier.
I have heard of a German exchange student say that because she has difficulty expressing herself in English, students of the host country simply do not have the patience to hear her out.
If we do not bother to know a person, her thoughts or her ideas, then we will not include her in the inner circle.
When a baby cries in the company of other babies, the mother of the baby will come running because she recognises the cry.
A shepherd will make sure that every sheep has entered the pen and if any is missing, he will go and find the lost sheep. The bottomline is when we know someone, then only can we love her.
What am I saying? In simple terms, it takes time and effort to know a person. It takes resolve to offer that hand of friendship and the warmth of affection.
Modern man has no time or tenacity to bother about another quite unlike himself.
Sadly, that is his loss.
SOURCE: THE NEW STRAITS TIMES 28 AUG 2011 http://www.highbeam.com/doc/1P1-196819535.html
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