Success is not measured by money alone

I HAVE just come back from a talk at Mallow Street Hall in Limerick where the speaker, Brian Gault, from the Isle of Man shared about his life. What struck me was his attitude towards life and its challenges despite the fact that he was born with no hands, yes, no hands, being the victim of the Thalidomide disaster. Thalidomide is a sedative drug introduced in the late 1950s that was used to treat morning sickness and to aid sleep. It was sold from 1957 until 1961, when it was withdrawn after being found to be a teratogen, a substance that causes birth defects. Brian did not just remain a victim of a mistake. At a young age, he learnt how to use his legs and toes for most of the tasks that we carry out with our hands. He had to suffer the looks and unkind taunts of other children. But he developed into a remarkable young man, full of personality. The best part was together with his wife, May, Brian went on to carry out charitable work among other Thalidomide victims in Brazil, a life of service to others. To me, a life of service to others is my definition of success. Success is doing the things that I perceive are valuable to myself and beneficial to others. It is a strange phenomenon where the more you give, the more you receive. However, to many others, success equals the first million dollars made. That reminds me of a conversation I had with well-meaning friends who were discussing their children's success stories.

As a number of our children are doctors, inevitably we talked about what makes a successful doctor. I could sum up the conversation as: a successful doctor is one who makes a lot of money, one who leaves the home country to work in another country because of a lucrative salary and one who chooses to specialise in an area, for example plastic surgery, that would surely bring in loads of money. I wonder how many parents actually encourage their children to give back to society and use their professions to do charitable deeds. I remember when my eldest daughter asked me for advice concerning her posting to a hospital to do her housemanship. I advised her to go to a place where doctors were scarce and medical facilities were lacking. In short, I was telling her to go where there was a need instead of city hospitals that were overcrowded with intern doctors. To other parents, I sounded weird and uncaring. When she was actually posted to a far-flung corner of the country, concerned parents came to sympathise with me. The best part was she was actually happy. Epicurus, the Greek philosopher said: "It is not what we have but what we enjoy that constitutes our abundance". Success is experiencing intangibles, such as the ability to make a difference, to feel a sense of accomplishment and to maintain a desirable balance between the world out there and the world within. This to me eclipses the size of a pay cheque. If we do not define our own meaning of success then we are caught in the socially programmed default settings of success, which usually means money. When Brian ended the talk by autographing his book with his toes and proclaiming that he is wonderfully made, despite the birth defect, I felt something move within me. In two days' time, we will embrace a new year. This is a good time for looking back to the past and also forward to the coming year. As with every new year, we make resolutions and break them or faithfully try to keep them. It is a good time to reflect on the changes we want or need to make. I will have to sit down and think through what I would want to do in 2013 -- for myself, my family and all those that I come in contact with.

Read more: Success not measured by money alone - Columnist - New Straits Times http://www.nst.com.my/opinion/columnist/success-not-measured-by-money-alone-1.193259#ixzz2GXPV3ing Source: http://www.nst.com.my/opinion/columnist/success-not-measured-by-money-alone-1.193259