Empty Nest or Discovery Channel?

I was juicing a melon one evening when Michael wheeled in a wheelbarrow filled with coal. Although it is summer, we had to stock up coal for the colder months to come.

I had earlier put on a CD with lovely songs and the room was awash with the hue of soft lights. Seeing him close the door behind him, I just stopped what I was doing, moved to where he was, grabbed his hands and we started to waltz, as if that was the most natural thing to do, with the wheelbarrow beside us and some chopped melon bits still in the juicer chute.

No, we don’t do this every day, but we let spontaneity in every now and then. Especially so when there are no more wailing babies demanding the next nappy change or young people catching us in an awkward embrace. All the children have left home and it is now just the two of us.

They call it the Empty Nest syndrome but I call it the Discovery Channel. Somehow the Empty Nest syndrome sounds lonely and sad especially when two people who having been married for years may as well be like two strangers in a room. Now, the Discovery Channel is different. It spells of excitement, fun and wild abandonment.

Married couples are a strange species. While they usually start off bright eyed and bushy tailed, stories abound of how there is nothing left to talk as the years roll on. With all the slogging at the office and child minding years behind them, there are no more common topics of interest. You can almost cut the silence with a knife. Along the way, the spark had diminished, trust eroded and appreciation dwindled. In some bizarre cases, spouses who could no longer stand each other, commit murder even.

Yet society, culture, religion and most of all the presence of children have decreed that the two married strangers should still live together to present themselves as a married couple to the outside world.

It is wonderful to see elderly couples looking out for each other and there is certainly no shortage of that here.

I was watching with amusement the other day when queuing for an empty cubicle in the fitting room in a Polo outlet in Kildare Village. Suddenly a senior lady opened  a cubical door to ask her senior husband what he thought of her blouse. He said ‘No, not this one.’ Then after a few minutes, she opened the door again with another blouse and he said ‘Yes, this looks very good on you.’ The relationship was symbiotic – checking for approval and giving approval or disapproval.

In another instance, an elderly man with a walking stick was looking at the display of man’s attire through the glass. Beside her was an elderly lady who held a zimmer frame.

He said, ‘I like that tie, yeah. Them ties are nice, yeah.’

She replied, ‘ Oh, sure,sure,sure. I saw one the other day at Pennys. Lovely tie. Half the price. That’s a good bargain.’

As they hobbled along, I could hear them still talking about the prices of ties. I could see there was love and kindness in their eyes for each other.

One of the inspirational quotes that has found its way into my life goes like this: I choose to live by choice, not by chance; to make changes not excuses; to be motivated, not manipulated; to be useful, not used; to excel, not compete. I choose self-esteem, not self pity. I choose to listen to my inner voice, not the random opinions of others.

We are what we choose to be.

Every now and then I review my choices and just the other day when I was watching ‘Disney top 30 cartoons’ with Jungle book coming up in first position as viewers’ choice, I was reminded of how my children used to re-enact the scene where Baloo the bear was dancing in the presence of the monkeys and his disguise failed him. That was hilarious. I could actually hear myself laughing along with my children.

I felt I missed my children in Malaysia terribly and Audrey said, ‘Our family structure is different but there is love.’ With the next wedding anniversary around the corner, I asked Michael whether it is nice that I am his wife and he replied,

‘Tis.’

Source: http://www.nst.com.my/node/2874