A tale of two Castles

I

If I were to wake up one morning and say, hey, I would go buy a castle, no one would believe me. For a start it takes a lot of money to buy one. And even if the owner is desperate enough to make a cheap and quick sale, chances are it will also cost a lot to restore it.

Well, Jeremy Irons bought a castle in West Cork  and out of curiosity more than anything else, I went to St Mary’s Cathedral in Limerick to listen to his presentation on the restoration of his 15^th century Kilcoe castle. This was in conjunction with 'Limerick City's Georgian Buildings and Streets' weekend of traditional Building Skills demonstrations and conservation talks.

I was not disappointed. 

Jeremy Iron’s deep and rich voice brought life to the many slides on how he purchased the castle and restored it. For someone who knows nothing about architecture except to admire it, I was immensely taken in by all the renovation works which spanned a total of six years. There was meticulous building and rebuilding of parts to meet perfection that one workman was said to have lamented, ‘When you work for an actor, there are too many rehearsals’.

The word castle is derived from the Latin word castellum which is a diminutive of the word castrum, meaning "fortified place". In medieval times, a castle served as a haven for soldiers during attacks, thus enabling small armies to defend themselves against larger armies.

Castles are impressive symbols of prestige and power. Castles are imposing and we gape at the magnitude and the opulence often associated with them. Kings used them to exert control over regions they thought to be hostile Aristocrats used them to display their status.

It is a given that kings and queens live in castles but to actually go out and buy one? Or better still, seek out one who inherits big castles and work towards seducing them into marriage.

So with my mind saturated with images of castles, I then attended another talk about a different kind of castle.

This time round it was by Alan Graham from Belfast. Alan, together with his wife Dorothy has established Zimbabwe Orphan Care (ZOC) to help care for some of the 800,000 orphans who live in Zimbabwe.

Sensing the immense need, Alan and Dorothy bought a site in  Harare, the capital of Zimbabwe in 2008. On it, they developed an orphanage called Jabulani for 14 children who would call it their home. Jabulani is a Zulu word meaning rejoice.

Metaphorically, I would call Jabulani the children’s castle. In this case, the castle is the children’s place of refuge. It is a place where they can be safe and wanted.

As Alan was narrating his experiences, one particular account struck a chord in my heart.

There was a time when sewage pipes were clogged up and workmen were called in to solve the problem. The reason for the blockage was a ghastly discovery of over 20 foetuses, possibly aborted. Thousands of babies were literally ‘thrown away’ by teenage mothers because of rape, often by AIDS victims.

I can’t help but think of the castle in West Cork and the castle in Harare.

Both are beautiful and located in a faraway place. The one in West Cork houses a family of four against a background of soft carpets, beautiful furniture, collectibles from distant lands ….lit by ornate lamps and chandeliers. The one in Harare houses 14 children (and possibly more to come ) and dedicated caregivers against a possibility for a great education, love and a meaningful life… lit by a vision of hope.

When I think of buying a castle, the question is, what will my motive be?

Source: http://www.nst.com.my/node/26176

To Thy Ownself Be True

I ENJOY doing online tests on trivial topics such as “what kind of classic actress are you?”, “what kind of car best represents you?”, “what kind of dessert are you?” and so on. Somehow, the answers are relatively accurate and these tests are interesting tools for me to have a rough gauge about who I am — extrovert, introvert or ambivert, among many other traits. 

The extrovert relishes social life, and is energised by interacting with friends and strangers alike. Extroverts are people who can be warm and funny. They also enjoy centre-stage attention and they are charming and good company. 

The introvert, on the other hand, prefers one-on-one relationships. Given the choice, she will devote her social energy to the people she cares about most, preferring the company of close friends to a room of acquaintances or strangers. She thinks before she speaks and relishes solitude. She feels energised when she focuses on a subject or activity that interests her. Her inner life is active and she is at her best when she taps into its storehouse. She immerses herself in writing and she is a good listener. She works best alone. 

However, no one is a pure extrovert or introvert and we are all somewhere along the continuum. The ambivert is smack right in the middle and she has the best of both worlds. She is moderately comfortable with groups and social interaction, but also relishes time alone, away from a crowd. 

For me, the introvert-extrovert personality traits manifest themselves according to the company that we keep. 

For example, if I am among friends, I am more of the introvert. Discussions are two-way, meaningful and informed. 

I know that there is a safe ground where I can listen and where I can share and people are genuinely interested in my opinions or my life. I know I can be a friend to another or a shoulder to cry on for someone. 

I just had a lovely house guest whom I had not met for the last three decades. We were from the same university and we were also housemates once. When she went home, she left me a card with these words: “We are friends beyond boundaries, beyond time, beyond words… Thank you for the two weeks of Irish experience and most of all for the love and sincerity of friendship.” 

I am the introvert when I am relaxed and enjoying “me-time”. I like to think over things, try to find solutions and write about my experiences. I will make gifts for people that I care about for no reason at all, just to appreciate them and make arrangements to meet up with them. People feel special when I remember important dates like their birthdays or the festivals that they celebrate. 

 However, when I am a hostess, the extrovert takes over. I like to invite friends over for coffee and cake. I go out of the way to include my guests to make them feel comfortable. I try to make sure that no one is left out. If I am conducting a workshop or seminar, I try to make it as lively and as interesting as possible, engaging my audience in all possible ways, so they do not fall asleep. 

When I am teaching, I try to make the classroom a more relational rather than a talk-down experience. When I am at a top-level meeting, I participate. 

The heart of human nature is to know who you are — what you are comfortable with and what you are not. The added challenge is how to let others know how we feel, especially when they have overstepped their boundaries or encroach into our space. 

Occasionally, we have to make allowances and put up with people that we do not enjoy being with or situations that make us feel bored or uncomfortable but this should be the exception, not the norm. 

If we are always battling ourselves because of another’s expectations or otherwise, we deplete ourselves. Conversely, when we make choices that are congruent with ourselves, we unleash life. 

 Source: http://www.nst.com.my/node/21773