Oh, To Be Young Again! (Or Not)

When I asked a little girl how old she was, she said ten and a half. I smiled knowing that at one time too, halves and three quarters made all the difference to our ages. Somehow we could not wait to grow up, in short to be an adult. Even the song Sixteen Going On Seventeen in the Sound of Music soundtrack echoes the same desire.

It is all very confusing.

Children can’t wait to become teens. Then you have the awkward age where you are neither a child nor a teen and you become  a ‘tween’. We also have teens who can’t wait to become adults and will try to dress and behave like their pop idols.

Through the eyes of a child, the teenage or adult world certainly seems more fun : staying up late, less parental supervision, being heard , going places or maybe even experimenting with make up. Certainly there are many things that an adult can do but a child can’t.

And then the birthdays roll by.

Before long people stop asking you how old you are because that has become a sensitive area. We no longer put numerous candles on the birthday cake. In fact, every year we just have one symbolic candle.

In a classic movie called Big starring Tom Hanks, a 12 year old boy made a wish at a carnival machine and became a 30 year old overnight. As movies go, he managed to become 12 again before the reel ran out. Near the end of the movie, there was a scene where he asked his girlfriend in the adult world whether she would like to go back in time with him to being a 12 year old again. 

Her answer was “No. I've been there before.  It's hard enough the first time.”

My sentiments exactly.

If a fairy godmother gave me a wish to be ten, twenty or thirty years younger, I would politely decline the offer even if that meant an 18 inch waist and flawless porcelain skin.

We evolve from being teased as the sweet young thing or the most desirable hunk to being called ma’am, aunty, uncle or ‘pak cik’ and ‘mak cik’. We are secretly happy when the shop keeper calls us ‘langloi’ (pretty lady) or ‘langchai’ (handsome guy), terms usually reserved for the younger set, even though we are aware that he uses the same term for almost any potential customer in order to get the person to buy something from his stall.

So, what age is the best age for living?

I feel that it is the time of your life where you feel very contented with yourself. You can be the child with all the attention focussed on you. There is the baby book when every milestone is recorded: the first step, the first haircut, the first word.

You can be the promising young adult whose school year book has a brilliant display of photos that highlight amazing feats: the school sports champion, the national orator, the best academic performance.

You can be the professional who has just landed on a great job and has bought a house or a car.

Or it can be that age when you feel secure because you are proud of who you are. You no longer need to compare yourself with others and are not worried about what others think about you. It is when you know the difference between what really matters and what seems to matter and you make choices and stand by them.

When I visited my friend Sarita on her birthday, I found her sitting most resplendently in her beautiful and well manicured garden. I think every birthday is special because it reminds us that the beauty of living is that you have lived and are still living life to the fullest.

Every moment counts. There is nothing like living in the now.

 THIS ARTICLE WAS ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED BY NEW STRAITS TIMES   http://digital.nstp.com.my/nst/books/150524nstnews/index.html#/22/    24/5/2015