Whenever a significant day arrives, the beloved will say, ‘I don’t
know what to get for you, so this is a token of my love. I hope you’ll like
it.’
That reminds me of a sequence of events. The
last time I asked him to buy product X, it was around the date of my birthday
and so he said it was a gift and I didn’t have to reimburse him. Then around December last year, I needed product X again and asked
him to buy it for me. Coincidentally, it was Christmas time, so he said it was
a gift again.
As with all important days, another one made
its round again this year.
My mind started to work like clockwork.
Using the techniques of deduction, association
and repetition, I reasoned that I would help him out again in the purchase of a
useful gift. I asked him to buy product X and then
I waited. But I was wrong. This time round however, it was not a gift, I had to pay for it.
Now where did I go wrong?
We tend to forget that men and women are
wired differently.
For a moment, I had clearly disregarded the
possibility that women are from Inner Space and men are from Outer Space. Simply put, ‘Men are from Mars, Women are
from Venus’ according to John Gray.
By inner space, I mean we do quite a fair
bit of thinking, mulling and gelling
(being mentally in-sync with someone). There is perfectly no empty box
in the brain and if someone were to attach some electrodes to it at any one
time, I am sure the female brain will light up at all angles, like a laser beam
show.
By outer space, I mean being absolutely
clueless. Maybe that sounds a bit harsh, but I am sure after the years of
chipping and honing, they actually do ‘cop-on’.
A good illustration is the hunter-gatherer
concept.
Hunter-gather is an
anthropological term used to describe human beings who obtain their food from
the bounty of nature, hunting animals and gathering wild plants. The hunter
seeks solutions and attempts to provide. Scientists
find that differences between genders are deeply rooted to the days when men
were hunters in the wild and women were gatherers rearing children in the
ring-fort. These different roles and settings pushed men and women to evolve
different hormonal balances and distinct brain structures.
Not that one is better than the other.
The
beauty of it really is that they complement each other and they are supposed to
bond effectively. Like magnets, opposite poles attract, so try separating two
bars of magnets that are stuck together. I find that every time I ask someone
of the opposite sex for help, I have never been disappointed. A punctured tyre
will be fixed and a damsel in distress looking for directions will be shown the
intended route she needs to go.
To work effectively together takes time.
What more with the opposite sex who is utterly different from who we are. But
then again, it is not impossible. Strangely enough, sometimes boundaries blur.
Take for instance, the general assumption
that women go berserk at sales. I find that because I am a planner and like to
maximise my waking hours, I can go into a shopping mall and within minutes get
exactly what I need and move on, instead of spending time window shopping and
browsing. I can see a ‘Sale
Men too can become more intuitive. The
beloved can now look at my non-verbal gestures and know that something is wrong
without my having to explain it verbally.
But it is good to step back now and again
and know and appreciate differences.
He may not have employed the techniques of
deduction, association and repetition but he did get me a lovely gift on the
said occasion, far better than I had ever imagined.
I’ll keep him on.
THIS ARTICLE WAS ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED BY NEW STRAITS TIMES 19 JULY 2015
http://www.nst.com.my/news/2015/09/similar-yet-so-distinct
http://digital.nstp.com.my/nst/books/150719nstnews/index.html#/23/
THIS ARTICLE WAS ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED BY NEW STRAITS TIMES 19 JULY 2015
http://www.nst.com.my/news/2015/09/similar-yet-so-distinct
http://digital.nstp.com.my/nst/books/150719nstnews/index.html#/23/
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