GOOD GUESTS REFLECT GOOD UPBRINGING

TWO notable figures visited Ireland in May -- Queen Elizabeth and United States President Barack Obama.
The queen's visit was mainly perceived as symbol of reconciliation, as the queen paid tribute in the Garden of Remembrance to the Irish who died resisting British rule.

There was also the singing of the British national anthem in Croke Park, the heartland of Irish nationalism and scene of a bloody massacre.

On the other hand, Obama fever swept through Moneygall, a village on the main road to Limerick, with US Secret Service agents moving in as locals painted their houses, builders plastering frantically and repairing the footpaths. Records show Obama's great-great-great-great-grandfather was a shoemaker in Moneygall and his son, Falmouth Kearney, left for New York in 1850.

Two different guests with two different agendas were warmly received by the host country. This reminds me of the pleasure (or displeasure) of having guests in our homes.

Malaysians, by and large, observe this beautiful tradition of welcoming guests to our homes. We would also make it a point to bring a present for our hosts.

It is not uncommon for guests to call in unannounced in my parents' generation especially in the outskirts of town. However, now that many of us work long hours at the office, the trend of guests informing the hosts before arrival is catching on, especially in the cities.

There is usually a lot of preparation before the guest finally arrives. The house is spruced up and food is prepared. Usually the host takes the trouble to plan an itinerary if the guest comes to stay a few days.

Even as we welcome guests into our homes, we must be mindful of being considerate guests ourselves. More often than not, we should be aware of unwritten rules or different cultural practices.

Being a good guest often reflects the way we have been brought up. Parents glow with pride when someone tells them that their child has been a great guest and the hosts would love to have her back in their house again anytime.

I live in a very scenic town and I have had the pleasure of having quite a few guests at many different times of the year.

Indeed, guests come in different packages.

So, what makes a good guest?

A good guest is one who makes arrangements for transportation and do not rely on the host to provide taxi service.

He could also offer to wash up after a meal, cook a meal or take the host out for a meal.

He should also read up about the country he is visiting before he comes and bring enough local currency with him and not depend on his host to pay for almost everything.

Besides that, the guest should also be sensitive to how things are done around the host's house.

The members of the family may watch certain television shows and eat certain foods and the guest should not be imposing or demanding or making comments that things are not done the way he is used to.

I had to put up a no-smoking sign after I discovered that a guest had happily polluted the air and left cigarette butts in the fireplace in the sitting room.

There was another guest who made it quite clear that nothing in my neighbourhood would ever measure up to where she had been.

While there were guests who made me appreciate the normal life I had before they arrived, there were some whom I would miss terribly when they had gone home.

These were the ones who appreciated the fact that we had gone out of the way to make them feel welcome, set aside time for them and tried to make their stay as comfortable as possible.