GIVE PRAISE WHEN THEY ARE WITH US

I was driving along the motorway and suddenly I saw a big group of cyclists pedaling as fast as their legs could muster the strength. It was an amazing sight, just watching them in their multi-coloured lycra cycling suits, pedaling in unison with the wind behind their backs.

Life is always the first indication of summer. The apple tree is my garden is now laden with apples again and the bulbs I had planted around it when the ground was caked with frost are now flowering aggressively. There are more wild birds pecking at the bird feeders and most of all daylight hours are getting longer.

When we live near the equator we go to bed expecting the sun to rise the next day. When we head for the beach, we expect to see the sun set at almost fixed times. But now, at 10pm, the sun is still brightly shining over Ireland and I will nostalgically say the Malaysian sun has risen again.

This sets me thinking that sadly we sometimes do not seem to realise what we have until it is gone. Only when we lose something, then we are reminded of its value and wished we had appreciated it. We falsely convince ourselves that everything around us will remain constant – firstly, the people around us and secondly our sense of worth.
Human nature is such that we tend to take those who are closest to us for granted until they are no longer there. Only then do we see how big their impact really was. We hear beautiful eulogies being read and wonder why we are stingy with our praises to the living.
My mother in her wisdom told me to appreciate life. To her it is better to tell the person how wonderful she is and to affirm her worth when she is alive than to burn a thousand candles when she is gone. Yet, we oftentimes forget to express love and gratitude to our family members, our good friends and those who are concerned about us. In the heat of an argument, when we let words fly, a good yardstick is to stop in our tracks and say to ourselves ‘will I still say the same thing to defend my stand if I know she’ll be gone tomorrow?’
I have a friend whose son has not spoken to her for years after a misunderstanding. I wonder how he would feel if one day she is gone and he has not made his peace with her or vice versa. Parent-child conflicts are nothing new and there is no prescribed method for reconciliation. Kahlil Gibran, a Lebanese American artist, poet, and writer said it best, "Love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation."
We also sometimes take our sense of worth for granted until it is snatched away.
Our self worth is the spark that keeps us alive. Depression gnaws at self worth and the city with its busy people has no time for forging deep relationships. The price we pay for modernity and the respect for privacy is non-interference into other people’s affairs. As more people keep their problems to themselves, having no outlet to unleash their sorrows, it is no wonder that the annual report of the National Office for Suicide Prevention shows that Ireland has the fifth highest rate of youth suicide in Europe.

I was sitting next to an acquaintance in a church service and after the initial pleasantries, she told me she was on anti-depressant pills. To her, the world has become very unappealing and creativity is at an all time low. We all thrive on creativity which ranges from keeping the house and garden tidy to the finest oil painting. If a person feels no impetus to work or to engage in any activity that used to delight, something starts to die within. In some cases work acts as a catalyst for the creative force to be allowed expression and for the individual once again to start to feel: “I too am somebody.”
Before I left the church I gave her a piece of paper where I had scribbled my name and contact number and the words, ‘Call me if you would like someone to talk to over a cup of tea.’
I wanted her to feel alive again.