A HOME AWAY FROM HOME

If anyone asks me to name a place for tourists where people are helpful, and friendly and live side by side in a multicultural pot filled with delightful flavours, I would definitely say Malaysia without blinking an eyelid. That is why I was so surprised to discover another place on the other side of the globe that has practically all the characteristics that I mentioned above: Boston.

We went there recently on a vacation and when we were trying to make sense of the Massachusetts Bay Transportation Authority (MBTA), the person manning the information booth literally jumped out of the booth to give us very clear instructions. A big burly man towering over us explained: ‘You can take the B, C or D train to Kenmore but never the E’. This he repeated himself slowly, patiently and definitely -the way felt puppet television characters would tell lost denizens. I was impressed. Most times, we would have to speak through a perforated screen to the very important information officer sitting secure in a booth or worse face the words ‘No Information’ boldly printed on the glass pane as observed in some booths in Rome.

The MBTA was very convenient and efficient and every time I looked around, I felt very much at home. I would see Hispanics, Chinese Americans, Koreans, Japanese, Mainland Chinese and a good blend of other ethnic groups. The best part was everyone spoke English according to his own accent, and everybody understood each other which goes to prove that people from a more culturally and ethnically diverse city are more in-tune with different accents and are thus able to make meaning of what they hear. Unlike in some countries where I had to repeat myself or speak slower, I had no problem whatsoever communicating with Boston folks.

When we walked along the street with a map we had strangers come up to us to readily point out to us where we wanted to go, be it on the historical trail or to go downtown to shop. To quote an example, we wanted to go for the Boston Ballet Nutcracker and were heading towards the box office. Suddenly a sweet elderly lady sprung up at the traffic lights and informed us that we could get half price tickets if we were to purchase from the Bostik Booth instead, just because we were pouring over a map as the lights turned red.

Then there was the food factor.

Feeling hungry, I picked up the scent of a mobile Asian Bistro (parked on the Massachusetts Institute of Technology’s campus grounds) that was busy selling packed lunches to hungry students and visitors. Making a bee-line to the van, I smiled when I saw the menu that offered Teriyaki fish, Pad Thai noodles, Vietnamese spring rolls, Penang Curry Laksa and Beef Ramen with free hot tea thrown in. That reminded me of the ‘economy rice with free hot tea’ meals that I used to eat when I was an undergraduate, living in a rented room in Section 17, Petaling Jaya.

In shopping malls, the food corners boast of a great variety of food: deep-fried, steamed, stir-fried, poached, barbequed, curried, roasted, blanched and battered. The city’s Chinatown which is the third largest after New York and San Francisco displayed mouth watering roasted ducks, teochew ducks or steamed chicken with their skins gleaming under the spotlights in the glass show cases. I could even smell the goodness through the glass. For a moment, I thought I was not very far from Petaling Street.

Boston is also home to educating the mind.

24 hour television programmes served my jet lag hours and my personal favourite was Sesame Street which was aired without fail in the wee hours of the morning. Most of the characters have remained the same except that Ernie and Bert now take the form of computer-generated imagery and sport dread locks instead of the familiar tufts of hair. A visit to the Harvard University left me even more convinced that there could never be an end to learning.

What is beautiful about Boston and the life it exudes is that it is a wonderful combination of the old and the new, of the puritan and the liberal, of painful memories and eventual independence, of singularity in mindset but plurality in outlook, of tradition and of change.

I thought it was just like home.

Source: The New Straits Times http://www.nst.com.my/opinion/columnist/a-home-away-from-home-1.38662imes,

Keeping Alive Our Traditions

I find monasteries fascinating. My first exposure to a monk was via the character of the Friar Tuck, the jovial friar and one of Robin Hood's Merry Men. Who could forget the infamous Friar Tuck’s haircut?

When I first went to the Cistercian Abbey in 2008, I stood amazed at the beautiful building that stood out like a gentle giant against the bucolic setting. I had great fun trying to approach some grazing sheep. The closer I got to them, the further away they ran from me.

Nothing could be more pleasant than to have hot tea and scones in the Abbey’s café. Each table had chairs that were different. At first I thought it was strange but then I began to fall in love with the creativity and the contrast. While the monks were all dressed in robes, there was absolutely no uniformity in the colour or shape of the chairs. All this made the tea and scones even more delicious.

So, when I had the chance to visit the Cistercian Abbey again recently, I knew I would be fascinated once more. But this time it was to watch Fiddler on the Roof, an annual production by the boys of the Cistercian College that is within the Abbey.

Fiddler on the Roof is a musical set in Tsarist Russia in 1905. The story centres on Tevye, the father of five daughters, and his attempts to keep his family and traditions together.

Whether it is in 1905 or 2012, keeping a family and traditions together is still a feat.

Even with big families in Malaysia, it is not uncommon that when the matriarch or patriarch passes on, sadly the family also breaks up. It takes concerted effort for brothers and sisters to link up and reasons for not doing so abound: geographical distance, family feuds and private concerns. If anything, the unassuming email loop is one way to keep the embers of kinship glowing.

Some traditions are good. I am happy to say that Malaysians still observe many admirable traditions. But not all traditions are helpful and we should learn to let them go and embrace new things and change.

In the musical there is this recurrent theme of arranged marriages (tradition) versus love marriages. (new) In an arranged marriage, great care is taken to ensure that the bride and groom are compatible. Important issues to consider are similarities in religion, culture, background, family status or academic standing. However, whether it is an arranged marriage or a marriage based on love, there is no surety that it will be happy. The only surety is that the parent’s heart will go all soft when the child walks down the aisle. This is beautifully captured in the lyrics of the song ‘Sunrise, Sunset’ where Tevye asks, ‘Is this the little girl I carried? Is this the little boy at play? I don’t remember growing older, when did they?’

Wedding traditions too are symbolic and meaningful. Like the tea ceremony in a Chinese wedding where we show our respect to the members of our new family. I remember carefully bringing the porcelain tea set over to Ireland and serving tea to my late mother-in-law to show her that I loved her as my own.

Call it Malaysian tradition, culture or customs but upholding what is meaningful, ethical and good is never easy.

The tradition where children, even at a young age are taught their proper place and responsibility within the family. The tradition of respecting people in authority especially teachers and not answering back or challenging them. The tradition of greeting our elders at the dining table before eating. The tradition of serving our elders first before we eat. The tradition of hospitality and sharing our food with siblings and friends and even acquaintances. The tradition of working hard in our youth and taking care of our parents when they are old. The tradition of taking off our shoes before we enter the house.

Finally, the tradition of family members coming together on the eve of the Chinese New Year for a reunion dinner. To me that encapsulates the spirit of solidarity, love and unity. And that is what I miss when we are oceans apart.

A Happy Chinese New Year to all ……….

Source: Keeping Alive Our Traditions, www.nst.com.my