I find monasteries fascinating. My first exposure to a monk was via the character of the Friar Tuck, the jovial friar and one of Robin Hood's Merry Men. Who could forget the infamous Friar Tuck’s haircut?
When I first went to the Cistercian Abbey in 2008, I stood amazed at the beautiful building that stood out like a gentle giant against the bucolic setting. I had great fun trying to approach some grazing sheep. The closer I got to them, the further away they ran from me.
Nothing could be more pleasant than to have hot tea and scones in the Abbey’s café. Each table had chairs that were different. At first I thought it was strange but then I began to fall in love with the creativity and the contrast. While the monks were all dressed in robes, there was absolutely no uniformity in the colour or shape of the chairs. All this made the tea and scones even more delicious.
So, when I had the chance to visit the Cistercian Abbey again recently, I knew I would be fascinated once more. But this time it was to watch Fiddler on the Roof, an annual production by the boys of the Cistercian College that is within the Abbey.
Fiddler on the Roof is a musical set in Tsarist Russia in 1905. The story centres on Tevye, the father of five daughters, and his attempts to keep his family and traditions together.
Whether it is in 1905 or 2012, keeping a family and traditions together is still a feat.
Even with big families in Malaysia, it is not uncommon that when the matriarch or patriarch passes on, sadly the family also breaks up. It takes concerted effort for brothers and sisters to link up and reasons for not doing so abound: geographical distance, family feuds and private concerns. If anything, the unassuming email loop is one way to keep the embers of kinship glowing.
Some traditions are good. I am happy to say that Malaysians still observe many admirable traditions. But not all traditions are helpful and we should learn to let them go and embrace new things and change.
In the musical there is this recurrent theme of arranged marriages (tradition) versus love marriages. (new) In an arranged marriage, great care is taken to ensure that the bride and groom are compatible. Important issues to consider are similarities in religion, culture, background, family status or academic standing. However, whether it is an arranged marriage or a marriage based on love, there is no surety that it will be happy. The only surety is that the parent’s heart will go all soft when the child walks down the aisle. This is beautifully captured in the lyrics of the song ‘Sunrise, Sunset’ where Tevye asks, ‘Is this the little girl I carried? Is this the little boy at play? I don’t remember growing older, when did they?’
Wedding traditions too are symbolic and meaningful. Like the tea ceremony in a Chinese wedding where we show our respect to the members of our new family. I remember carefully bringing the porcelain tea set over to Ireland and serving tea to my late mother-in-law to show her that I loved her as my own.
Call it Malaysian tradition, culture or customs but upholding what is meaningful, ethical and good is never easy.
The tradition where children, even at a young age are taught their proper place and responsibility within the family. The tradition of respecting people in authority especially teachers and not answering back or challenging them. The tradition of greeting our elders at the dining table before eating. The tradition of serving our elders first before we eat. The tradition of hospitality and sharing our food with siblings and friends and even acquaintances. The tradition of working hard in our youth and taking care of our parents when they are old. The tradition of taking off our shoes before we enter the house.
Finally, the tradition of family members coming together on the eve of the Chinese New Year for a reunion dinner. To me that encapsulates the spirit of solidarity, love and unity. And that is what I miss when we are oceans apart.
A Happy Chinese New Year to all ……….
Source: Keeping Alive Our Traditions, www.nst.com.my
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