NEXT Sunday is Mothers Day. Now, that is one good reason to send a card, buy a present, visit or call that special lady who has sacrificed much for us.
In Romeo and Juliet, Act II, Scene II, Juliet says, "What's in a name? That which we call a rose, by any other name would smell as sweet..." I find this so appropriate, especially when I am a mother. Call me mum, momma, mumsie or any affectionate title, the name will just be as sweet.
It is a journey of choice for me to have three children, a journey with no prescribed handbook and no predestined dock to anchor. A mother's role is never done. Even as the three are well into adulthood, I am still sailing, so to speak, through calm waters and through storms, trusting that when I turn the rudder of the ship, it will be in the right direction.
A recent research carried out by Tesco mobile shows that the average mother around the country performs tasks from 12 different occupations during their day-to-day work, from cleaner (82 per cent) to counsellor (73 per cent). In fact, 76 per cent of mothers perform the duties of chef, 77 per cent are stock controllers ensuring the cupboard does not go empty, 60 per cent take on the role of travel agent in the stressful task or organising a family holiday, and the list goes on.
If I can say that worrying is a task, then I am sure the job of "official worrier" will top a mother's list. From the moment a child is born, we worry. We can hide our worries under different facades -- being the cool mum, the detached mum, the professional mum -- but deep down, we still worry. We worry when they catch a fever, when they misbehave, when they do badly in school, when they are unemployed, when they are employed, when they marry and when they have children of their own.
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If we could have our way, we would want our children to be near us even when they are all grown up and working, with families of their own. Because I live 10,971km away from Malaysia, a hiccup in the lives of my children in Malaysia becomes a tsunami by the time it reaches me. Even with Facebook, phone calls, text messages and email, it is not the same as hearing the voices of your children talking to you, sharing their joys and their pain. My bedroom in Malaysia was also my office and my children would come in and out just to talk to me, from the silliest stuff to the most serious.
I made it a point to immediately put down whatever I was doing on the computer as soon as a child sat on my bed and said, "Mom, you know what?..." It became a habit and they continued to do it well into their adult years. Sometimes when they were too busy, I would go into their rooms instead to listen to them. My son's room had luminous star stickers all over the ceiling and it was always very special to lie down on the bed, look at all the stars shining down on us and talk. New mothers usually document their babies' milestones -- the first step, the first word.
But, to me, everyday brings new milestones. Separation is missing out on those milestones. Even for myself, sometimes I wish my mother were here to share with me her wisdom and advise me on how to negotiate the bends in my life.
I believe in authoritative parenting skills and I am not afraid to correct or voice my displeasure over rude or out of line character, whatever the age of the child. I believe in giving my children a great start in life by teaching them independence and accountability.
Having said that, I also believe in affirmation. It is never out of place to tell a child what he means to you under any circumstance, even if he has done a great wrong. To me, it is the deed that is wrong, but my love for the child does not change and he must know that.
I remember I posted a random picture on my daughter's Facebook "My daughter is super awesome and I'm the lucky one who gets to be her momma" and she replied "lawl, so ghetto-sounding momma" and that really made me laugh.
In Ireland, Mothers Day is celebrated on March 10, so I get to celebrate it twice a year. It is not exactly the same thing when you do not have all the children with you but I will have to settle for that till the time comes when we can all be together again.
Read more: A love that knows no bounds - Columnist - New Straits Times http://www.nst.com.my/opinion/columnist/a-love-that-knows-no-bounds-1.271554#ixzz2SP00xAaW
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