Badger and wisdom of the Serenity Prayer

When I drive along country roads what disturbs me most is seeing dead badgers, the victims of road-kill. Sometime it is a large badger and at other times it is a wee baby badger. As a lover of animals, both wild and tame, it breaks my heart to see the black and white fur of the lifeless body flying in the wind. So I went on to research about the badger and found a host of delightful information. Unlike most other animals that scamper away upon seeing an on-coming vehicle, the badger because of its primal instinct to defend chooses to fight the approaching enemy instead, in this case the approaching vehicle. Native American’s keynote description of the badger is aggressiveness and she is symbolic of bold self reliance and self expression. The badger’s other characteristics are confidence and wisdom. Because it is protective and defensive. folklore has it that when threatened the badger will bite and will not let go of its grip until it hears the victim’s bone snap. In short, the badger is a fighter. Like the badger, we are fighters. We all have what we call our personal battles and some will go to the death bed disgruntled, disappointed and unhappy because there is no closure to the battles. We have also encountered promises made and promises broken over and over again. Have you wondered why the battered wife keeps returning to the violent husband? Or why the husband keeps paying for his wife’s gambling debts? Not forgetting the countless times a parent has to cover up for his child’s errant ways by making excuses for him? We continue to fight, wishing that things will change and become better. We cling on to the hope that everything will be alright in the end and this can take many years of our lives until we have no more strength to fight anymore and our confidence and motivation begin to slowly slip away. A situation can be rebuilt or it can fall apart. Some things will change and become better, but some things will never change nor become better. We imagine that every person is a diamond in the rough. Some of us have been advised erroneously that overtime we can ‘change’ a person if we are patient and forgiving. But to me, we cannot change another person’s mindset or behaviour. Any change that needs to be done has to come from the person himself. This is where the wisdom of the Serenity Prayer comes in. This prayer by American theologian Reinhold Niebuhr has been adopted by Alcoholic Anonymous and other twelve-step programmes used to address substance abuse and dependency problems. The best known form of the prayer is: God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. Ah, for that kind of wisdom. To accept the things I cannot change is to see things as they are and to act upon reality. When I accept the things that I cannot change, then only can I let go of the struggle and move on. I can decide what I want to do in that situation without being clouded by my own wishing for things that will not happen. This is like the badger that will fight until it is time to let go. Some things just will not work no matter how badly I wish them to. It has been often quoted that we cannot change the past but we can change the present. And the choices we make in the present will determine the outcome of the future. To change the things that I can change is to be able to make decisions about how I want to live: finding a new job, moving to another city, ending an unhealthy relationship or changing my own mindset are some examples. I enjoy Raymond Briggs’ hand drawn children’s literature because his drawings encapsulate life as it is with no trimmings. Instead of being pushed up against the wall when his wife Jean Taprell Clark was diagnosed as schizophrenic and died of leukaemia, he wrote movingly: "Schizophrenics are inspiring people. Her feelings about nature and experiences of life were very intense." This is perhaps an illustration of accepting what we cannot change and having the courage to let go. If something starts to crumble, know when to put it down and let it be. It does not require blame or justification. Source: http://www.nst.com.my/opinion/columnist/badger-and-wisdom-of-the-serenity-prayer-