Companies should keep loyal clients happy

WE all like to hide things safely away. Why, even squirrels hide their nuts in places that they can unearth when food is scarce in winter. One of the many things that I like to hide is chocolate. This habit could have stemmed from when I was a young mother and I did not want to let my children eat too many chocolates at one go. So I would hide them, (especially after birthdays when well-meaning guests give loads of chocolates), and then "produce" them from their hideouts as occasional treats.

Recently, a chocolate company announced that it was recalling a chunky bar because some bits of plastic were found in it. So I checked my chocolate stash. Sure enough I had six bars of the affected brand sitting smugly in the hidey hole. The company promised a full refund and free postage for the return of the affected bars.

I debated whether to post the chocolates back to the United Kingdom. I argued that there would be very little chance of finding plastic bits in my collection and even if they were there, I would be careful enough to spit them out. But then again if I were to choke on one and have to be rushed to the emergency room, I can visualise the company personnel admonishing me, "I told you so" and washing their hands off any law suit. So, I dutifully posted them as instructed and waited, convincing myself that this was an example of good customer service.

I think I can actually count on my fingers the number of times I was served well in Malaysia. Cashiers sat with dour faces at supermarket counters. Inconsiderate people with their trolleys filled to the brim used the express lanes and no supermarket personnel was doing anything about it. Restaurants that conveniently forgot which customers came earlier and served those who came in later, first.

With so many brands in the market, many companies' present obsession appears to be to gain customers, but not to service loyal customers well. When I call about a complaint more often than not I would be left on hold as the music plays on the other side of the phone. Even if I am attended to, it is no surprise if I am passed on from person A to person B until hopefully I get to speak to the right person. More often than not, I will be speaking to a recorded message, telling me to press A if I am a new customer and B if I am a current customer.

After waiting for endless minutes to trickle while the phone bill is escalating, I have managed to fool the recording machine. Even if I am a current customer and I am supposed to press B, I press A for new customer instead. The speed at which I am attended to is not rocket science.

Some days ago, we decided to change the service provider for the telephone and the broadband. We were immediately inundated with phone calls and email asking us why we decided to change and they counter offered with "better" packages to try to lure us back.

The question is, if these packages were on, why did they not try to convince us while we were still their customers? A similar example was when I decided to change my credit card after having paid the service fees for years. Immediately the credit card company called me and said if I remained as their customer they would hitherto waive the service fees for as long as I lived.

Unless there is not much choice, I prefer to go to the little shop around the corner. It is like the sitcom Cheers of yesteryear where when you enter the shop, everyone knows your name.

There will be a short exchange of greetings and then even if you have lost the receipt you can still bring the item back to exchange since the storekeeper remembers that you bought the item from him not too long ago.

But then again, there are some big concerns that do take care of their customers.

There is this story about Sainsbury's Tiger bread. A three and a half year-old girl wrote to the company in May 2011, saying the bread looked more like a giraffe and suggested that it should be called giraffe bread.

Chris King from Sainsbury's customer services team replied: "I think renaming tiger bread giraffe bread is a brilliant idea -- it looks much more like the blotches on a giraffe than the stripes on a tiger, doesn't it?" With the letter was a STG3 (RM12.90) gift card, and it was signed "Chris King (age 27 & 1/3)".

Tiger bread has since been renamed giraffe bread.

So as for the return of the tainted chocolate bars, I received two postal orders from the UK, a full refund for the affected chocolate bars, with a little extra on the side. I will be their grateful customer for life.

Source: Companies should keep loyal clients happy - Columnist - New Straits Times http://www.nst.com.my/opinion/columnist/companies-should-keep-loyal-clients-happy-1.318818?cache=03d163d03edding-pred-1.1176%252F%253Fpfpentwage63dp%253A%252Fhe3d03dn63frea-rti3d19.3d163d03edding-pred-1.1176%252F%253Fpfpentwage63dp%253A%252Fhe3d03dn63frea-rti3d19.111w5ii%252Fed-%252F7.174045%253Fkey%253Dmalaysia%253Fpage%253D0%253Fkey%253Dmalaysia%2F7.358894%2F7.454177%2F7.454177#ixzz2Z1uEXo9z

BUYING MORE THAN YOU NEED

One of the horrors of cleaning out the refrigerator is to find perishables, well past their expiry dates, turning an unappealing shade, releasing an odour or being covered with mould.  There could also be food that had not been stored properly so bacteria had spoilt them.

Besides the refrigerator, cleaning out the kitchen cabinet would be another nightmare.  I wonder how many of us have left canned food or ready-to-cook sachets standing on the shelf for months until they are way past their best before dates. I could safely say that most of us would have been in that situation at least once in our lifetime.

Consumed with guilt, we throw the sorry sight into the bin.

With recession and unemployment hitting the streets of Ireland, many are cutting back on expenses. Strangely enough there is still much wastage of food. Irish consumers throw out 30 per cent of food bought in supermarkets, costing each household more than €1,000 a year.

This is certainly bad for the environment. Ethically wasting food while others who are less fortunate go hungry is frowned upon. Yet, why do we continue this unhealthy habit of buying more than we need?

Reasons range from a lack of planning, buying on impulse or not eating leftovers.

Whatever the reason, solutions for this unhealthy trend include buying and keeping ‘just enough’, using a FIFO (‘first in, first out’) method to control our purchases and being wary of sales gimmicks like ‘2 for 1’ or ‘Buy 1, get 1 at half price’.

I have nothing against genuine money savers especially if they are necessities, for example, shampoo or toilet paper. However if they are offers for buying perishables in bulk, then I would certainly pause and do a mental evaluation before purchasing.

Diet gurus claim there is more to overbuying that meets the eye.

A person low in self worth seeks solace in ‘compensatory consumption’. Overbuying ‘fills’ the person up so she will not feel so personally depleted.

The bad news is, overbuying is not restricted solely to the food department. We may also have rows and rows of shoes, many of them worn only once or not even worn at all. We also have cupboards full of clothes. If we are honest enough, there are some clothes in the cupboard that we have not worn for a long time and probably never will. There are also those beautiful dresses that are one size smaller because fashion magazines tell us to purchase them as an incentive for keeping to our latest diet.

The difficult part is to actually take the clothes off their hangers and the shoes off the shelves. We know we must pack them into boxes and give them away but because we have formed some kind of an intricate bonding with them, we tell ourselves we will do it and then put it off to another day.

So how can we put the brakes on shopping for wants and not needs?

A good tactic is delayed buying. This means that when you see something that we like and are inextricably drawn to it, just leave the shop without buying it and tell yourself to come back another day if you really want it. Most times the desire to purchase it would have worn off after a few days – the very same dress that you thought you must buy. The delaying tactic is also economical because usually in-season clothes are highly priced   only to be discounted after a few weeks.

Another interesting method to curb overbuying is something that I learnt from a fellow blogger. She started one ‘non-spending’ day in a week where she would refuse to part with her dollars and cents for that particular day however great the temptation was to make a purchase. She was surprised that in no time this kind of imposed restraint had become an ‘automatic checker’ whenever she wanted to purchase something. Soon it was a breeze to stretch the non-spending day to more than one day.

Finally the old fashioned method of paying things by cash certainly helps. If we go shopping with only cash in our bags and leave our credit cards behind, we would certainly have to buy within our means. Not only that,  we would make a mental assessment of the things we intend to buy….necessities above wants.

Source: http://www.nst.com.my/opinion/columnist/bad-habit-of-buying-more-than-you-need-1.310191?cache=03%253Fkey%253DKuala+Lumpur%252F7.196217%253Fpage%253D0%252F7.213537%253Fkey%253DKuala+Lumpur

The Father as a Provider and a Protector

Recently some bulbuls came and build a nest in the porch of my house. Although this was not the first time, it was a joy watching them flutter their wings in great excitement and making a wonderful noise. They would fly to the porch carrying bits and pieces of straw and wood chips in their beaks. Before long the mother bird was spending days sitting on her two eggs.  This was then followed by an endless hunting of food by both parents to feed the young fledglings until they were able to fly away.

Looking at the birds, I thought of the role of a guardian. The  ‘guardian’ is one of the four temperaments identified in the Keirsey Temperament Sorter, a  self-assessed personality questionnaire designed to help people better understand themselves. Among many things, the ‘guardian’ takes on the position of the provider and the protector.

In a family, the primal role of the father should be that of the provider and protector. The provider takes it upon himself to look after the health and welfare of those in his care. He is the hunter who ekes out a living so that there is food on the table and there are basic amenities in the home. For the many of us who have such fathers, we feel secure and know that we will not be in want.  We might even take for granted that  shampoo, ketchup, stationery and many other things in our homes would always be there whenever we wanted them.

Having said that, there are fathers who do not provide for their families. Examples are alcoholics and gamblers. Unless he seeks help an alcoholic brings nothing but pain to his family through his incessant drinking or abusive behavior. The gambler who falls prey to loan sharks sets up his family for a life of misery. To escape the loan sharks, the family lives in fear and are always on the move.

When a father neglects his role as a provider, it is not uncommon to see the mother or the first born taking the weight of leadership to become the provider for the family instead. This unhealthy situation causes the mother to feel trapped and the first born to be deprived of a normal childhood, having to grow up too fast.

The provider is sometimes taken for granted and left unappreciated. Because a provider is extremely sensitive to the feelings of others, he is somewhat self-conscious and sensitive to what others think of him and is crushed by personal criticism.

The father is also the protector because his primary interest is in the safety and security of those he cares about. I remember my father used to make sure that every door was well pad-locked at night, and now I see my husband doing that as well. The protector is loyal and responsible in his makeup and seems fulfilled in the sense that he can shield others from the dangers of the world. The protector’s shyness is often misjudged as selfishness or even coldness but he is actually warm hearted and sympathetic, putting the interests of the ones he loves above himself. He is quite happy working alone and will try to do everything himself rather than direct others to get the task done. A lack of external expression of love does not necessarily mean that he does not care enough.

I feel that both the parents’ roles are complimentary. While the father is the provider and protector, the mother can be the primary carer and confidante. In fact, most times the roles are well blended as befits the occasion.

Just like the bulbuls that built the nest, happy is the home when both parents know their roles and contribute whole heartedly to the raising of the children.  Like the fledglings who must also learn to fly, adult children should start looking out for their father and his needs instead.The love and security that good parents provide can never be understated in the development of a child. The bulbul’s nest may look messy on the outside but apparently it is well lined and comfortable on the inside. Now that the fledglings have flown off, I must climb on a chair and have a look at the interior of the nest.

                                                                      HAPPY FATHER’S DAY

Source: http://www.nst.com.my/opinion/columnist/the-father-as-a-provider-and-a-protector-1.301090?cache=%27%60%22bvU7C%2F7.241524%2F7.258950%2F7.258950%2F7.258950%2F7.289627%2F7.330034%2F7.330034%2F7.330034

Building Blocks of Basic Trust

SOME things do not change. During my childhood, I heard of parents making meaningless promises to their children or threats so that they would toe the line. I would have thought that with education and modernisation, such tactics would have died a natural death.

Imagine my surprise when just the other day, I heard a mother tell her 7-year-old to put her tooth under the pillow or else the Tooth Fairy would not leave a euro for her. I did not know whether to be aghast or to smile knowing full well that it was definitely not the Tooth Fairy who was going to put the euro under the pillow.

Sooner or later, it just takes another child, let's call her child X, who has been brought up to know that the Tooth Fairy does not exist, to shatter that dream world. Then, the poor child who has believed in something unreal all her life would run home crying and her mother would grumble to other mothers at the school gate that child X is a spoiler and she cannot imagine what kind of childhood child X has without the Tooth Fairy.

Why make such a fuss about letting a child believe in fantasy?

Well, according to psychologist Eric Erikson, letting a child believe in something that does not exist challenges the quality of basic trust which is the foundation for a healthy personality. If we sow seeds of deception, what would we expect to reap? If a child believes the fabrications made up by the parent, how will she know when the parent is telling the truth?

To me, it would be so much more meaningful if a parent comforts her child for having had her tooth extracted and "rewards" her for her bravery by giving her a euro. In the same vein, it would also be assuring if a parent tells a child she loves her and therefore buys her a present instead of telling her that some fictional character has climbed down the chimney and left one for her.

There has also been a number of incidents where I have heard parents telling their child to stop crying or the bogeyman will put him in a sack and whisk him away. Usually, the bogeyman would be hiding in the closet or under the bed. I would not be surprised if such a threat leaves an indelible mark on the child and causes him to be fearful and timid.

Strangely, these parents think that such threats are harmless. By using an imaginary being to frighten children into compliant behaviour, the parent is actually allowing someone else to do the "dirty work".

Sometimes, the parent threatens that the policeman or the security guard (usually of a different race) would catch the errant child and throw him into jail if he does not behave. My daughter tells me that when she makes her rounds in the wards, the parents will quickly threaten the sick child with an injection if the child does not behave.

These seemingly harmless untruths not only encourage deception but also instil an unhealthy fear of the lawmaker, the authorities and also inculcates prejudice of other races. It is no wonder that we grow up thinking of the police as more of a foe than a friend, ready to slap us with a fine and to take a bribe than to help us.

Some parents will also threaten to use the cane by waving it in the air and never really carrying out the threat. Others threaten with the phrase, "Wait till your daddy gets home". It is so easy to scare children. To me, this is folly. If I say I will discipline my child, then I will follow through so that the child knows the consequences of his actions, and the sooner the better. An error corrected there and then is certainly more effective than waiting for the other parent to return from work to correct it.

Having said that, we are often quick to discipline but slow to praise. I am not talking about mollycoddling or dishing out trite praises for every small thing done. This merely devalues the praise and the child will be deceived into thinking that he can do no wrong. He inadvertently thinks that he needs no improvement because what he does is wonderful enough in his parent's eye.

It is good to let our children, whatever their ages, know that we are proud of them. I prefer to emphasise the nice and true things about themselves and what they have accomplished because hearing good things about themselves make them feel good and want to do more. It is better to explain to them the boundaries of behaviour and the things they should or should not do. This requires control within ourselves and the discipline to tell the truth.

Source: Building blocks of basic trust - Columnist - New Straits Times http://www.nst.com.my/opinion/columnist/building-blocks-of-basic-trust-1.291473?cache=03%2F7.202804%3Fkey%3DMalaysia%2F7.318771%2F7.358894%2F7.358894%2F7.358894%2F7.358894#ixzz2V1Xksah1

Being a mum is a gift

In conjunction with Mother's Day, I was asked to share my experiences on raising three children...

1. How would you describe your relationship with your children? What was it like when they were young?

Very good, I have three - Sonya, Samuel and Audrey. Being a mum is a gift. it surpasses accolades and distinctions, and material success. It is not to be taken for granted. From that perspective, I treasure my chidren even more. The more we sow, the more we reap. Even when the babies were in the womb, I wanted them to have the best.

I went for piano lessons so that the foetuses could hear music. Since I enjoy craft, I sewed baby clothes, bassinet bedding and such. I also believe strongly in breastfeeding. Being a working mum, it was no easy task. I remember carrying all the paraphernalia (breast pump and bottles for example) to work so that I could give my children, mother's milk.

Every child is like a sponge. At 18 months, I taught my children to read using Glenn Doman's flash card concept. I made the flash cards myself as the kit was expensive. All three children could identify words at that age and went on to read the Peter and Jane series.

Music is food for the soul. Since I never had the opportunity to learn to play musical instruments as a child, I wanted my children to do so. The trio pursued the Yamaha Junior Music Course, and they have perfect pitch (they could identify any note) and can compose. I sat with them in class, enjoying all the clapping and singing. Later on, when they took piano lessons based on the Associated Board of the Royal Schools of Music, I refrained from reminding them to 'practise, practise' - something that children loathe to hear.

Instead we held mock concerts at home, where they had to perform music pieces among themselves. I rewarded them with 'mock trophies' with their names on them to celebrate the occasions.

Discipline is another aspect that parents have to deal with. Except for the occasional defiance, my children do listen to reason. 

When they were young, I collected cockleshells and spray painted them in gold. For good behaviour or for finishing chores, each child would be rewarded with a number of shells.

There was a chart on the fridge where the child could see how many shells he or she would need to redeem a chocolate bar, for example. I have not had a maid since Audrey turned seven, so the kids had to divide the chores among themselves. This gave them a sense of responsibility and independence.

Being involved in their television viewing was fun. Ask me about Sesame Street and who sang Octopus's Garden and I can still remember the details.Children like to watch their favourite cartoons over and over again. I had to sit with all three most of the time until I know the number of toes Kermit the Frog has.

Being an educator, I know studies are important. Strangely, I am not the type who enrolls my children for tuition. Public exam years would be given priority if the child needs tuition. Otherwise, I encourage them to pay attention in class and study on their own. School projects were always fun. We would brainstorm for ideas because they know mummy is creative. 

For show-and-tell, they have brought almost all their pets to school - from a guinea pig and an iguana to a hedgehog-until one teacher commented we must have a zoo at home.

 

As I never had a pet growing up in a town house, animals are always welcome at my home.

When all is said and done, teaching children about God and values, and seeing them experience the faith themselves is the best part of bonding. I would read storybooks to my children before they sleep and make sure they attend Sunday School and Youth Church. I encourage them to question and to be critical. I tell them it is all right to be creative, different and fun and not to follow the herd mentality.

2. What difficulties do you face in raising young adults? Do you have frank discussions with your children about everything?

Since I've been involved in their lives from day one, from the tying of shoelaces to tucking them in to sleep, any difficulty has a solution. I've worked hard and managed to save enough to see them through their education. Education is my gift to them. When they start work, they will have to learn to be independent and love their mum.

Discussions are a must. I've received handmade cards from them which said, 'Mum, whatever you decide, we are with you.' We talk about everything, including boyfriends, girlfriends and sex. Sometimes my son teases me about sex-related matters. They also let me read their blogs. I can feel their angst and their joy.

All my children are different from each other. My eldest knew she wanted to be a doctor at seven. She asked for a microscope instead of a Barbie doll. My second child is a hands-on person, so I know he'll make a great manager. The youngest has a flair for languages, is outspoken and is a people person. So the public arena is for her. I don't pigeonhole my children as a doctor, lawyer or accountant. We discuss what they want to be and if a mum has been there for them, she'll know their inclinations and encourage them to pursue their interests.

3. What are the things that you do together now?

We still go for movies, vacations and church activities. We do college projects together if they still need my input and of course shopping and dining are favourite pastimes. We share clothes and accessories too. Celebrating birthdays is top priority. I used to bake birthday cakes and put icing on them. But recently they've started to make their own cakes. To me, they'll always occupy a huge part of my heart.

Source : New Straits Times

Honeymoon, Negotiation, Adaptation, Mastery

It is not every day that dolphins come to town.

Well, they did. Sometime last month, three bottle-nosed dolphins decided to leave their regular habitat in the Shannon Estuary and swam towards the Ratty River in Bunratty, a bustling tourist area in Ireland. Their dramatic abandonment of a safe, saline environment towards a new and fresh water area caused both amazement and concern, judging from the flock of people who gathered there to watch them. While most of the audience comprised of the curious and the caring, there were also reports of young people throwing stones and other missiles at them.

I thought the dolphin story was somewhat similar to a situation when we find ourselves not quite on home ground and trying to adapt. I have just conducted a sharing session on achieving your dreams and studying abroad in a secondary school. Leaving home is a big step and going overseas for work or studies can be a daunting experience indeed.

In the process of experiencing culture shock and adaptation, we go through different phases. Being thousands of miles away from home, researchers agree that adaptation evolves through four stages: the honeymoon stage, the negotiation stage, the adaptation stage and the mastery stage. But of course, there are some who get stuck in a particular stage and remain there.

The honeymoon stage, as the term suggests, is of course exciting, as we drink in the new sights and sounds. If we are avid readers, now is the time to actually see the things that we have read about... snow-capped mountains, idyllic meadows dotted with frisky lambs, pastries at the boulangerie, clothes billowing in the wind, the quintessential bobby complete with truncheon and chimneys puffing.

We stride out in our coats and hats, woollen scarves and mittens and, not forgetting, knee high leather boots, just like they do in fashion magazines. The smell of freedom certainly goads us on to do the creative things that we would never have dared to do at home because, after all, no one knows us in this new land.

The negotiation stage is the stage where reality begins to hit home. It is when we begin to miss the sun that we have taken for granted. We seek out our favourite foods only to find that a decent plate of nasi lemak at a Malaysian restaurant costs 9 euro (RM36). When we get sick, there is no mother around to bring us a bowl of piping hot chicken soup. Although we speak English, we find that shopkeepers have difficulty understanding us because our stresses and accents are in different places. Shopping malls and eating squares that open late into the night are as scarce as hen's teeth.

This stage is worsened by bad experiences. We may be subjected to exclusion where we are regarded as "blow-ins", basically not people of the land. We may also suffer incidents of bullying, racist attacks or comments. Perhaps the most common experience is that ethics, morals and manners all seem to be so different: examples being the legislation of same-sex marriages, the normalcy and frequency of children born out of wedlock and live-in partners instead of the husband and wife union.

For us who honour and respect our elders (even if we think we are right and they are wrong), we are shocked to see adult children lashing out at their parents, calling their parents names and hurling accusations at them. For us who render respectful titles to anyone older than us (relative, friend or stranger) are shocked when children in the host country call adults by their first names, even if the adult is 99 years old.

The adjustment stage kicks in when we learn how to deal with the people around us: their customs, their body language and their expectations. It is at this stage that some of us may retreat into our ghettos where we gravitate towards people from our own country and others may go to the other extreme of being totally like the people in the host country.

Finally, the mastery stage is when we are able to recognise and assimilate the good practices and values of the host country. At the same time, we are proud of who we are -- our Asian heritage and the values and ethics that our parents , teachers and elders have taught us.

So, back to the story of the dolphins which got me started on this article.

Although preparations were made to help the dolphins go back to where they came from, officials from the Irish Whale and Dolphin Group (IWDG) and the National Parks and Wildlife Service (NPWS) who spent some time monitoring the mammals decided to leave them there for now as they looked healthy and appeared to be feeding well.

Maybe, they had reached the mastery stage.

Source: Columnist - New Straits Times
http://www.nst.com.my/opinion/columnist/honeymoon-negotiation-adaptation-mastery-1.281768?cache=%3Fpage%3D0%2F7.170209%3Fpage%3D0%3Fpage%3D0%2F7.320411%2F7.324263

A LOVE THAT KNOWS NO BOUNDS

NEXT Sunday is Mothers Day. Now, that is one good reason to send a card, buy a present, visit or call that special lady who has sacrificed much for us.

In Romeo and Juliet, Act II, Scene II, Juliet says, "What's in a name? That which we call a rose, by any other name would smell as sweet..." I find this so appropriate, especially when I am a mother. Call me mum, momma, mumsie or any affectionate title, the name will just be as sweet.

It is a journey of choice for me to have three children, a journey with no prescribed handbook and no predestined dock to anchor. A mother's role is never done. Even as the three are well into adulthood, I am still sailing, so to speak, through calm waters and through storms, trusting that when I turn the rudder of the ship, it will be in the right direction.

A recent research carried out by Tesco mobile shows that the average mother around the country performs tasks from 12 different occupations during their day-to-day work, from cleaner (82 per cent) to counsellor (73 per cent). In fact, 76 per cent of mothers perform the duties of chef, 77 per cent are stock controllers ensuring the cupboard does not go empty, 60 per cent take on the role of travel agent in the stressful task or organising a family holiday, and the list goes on.

If I can say that worrying is a task, then I am sure the job of "official worrier" will top a mother's list. From the moment a child is born, we worry. We can hide our worries under different facades -- being the cool mum, the detached mum, the professional mum -- but deep down, we still worry. We worry when they catch a fever, when they misbehave, when they do badly in school, when they are unemployed, when they are employed, when they marry and when they have children of their own.

Worrying is exacerbated by separation.

If we could have our way, we would want our children to be near us even when they are all grown up and working, with families of their own. Because I live 10,971km away from Malaysia, a hiccup in the lives of my children in Malaysia becomes a tsunami by the time it reaches me. Even with Facebook, phone calls, text messages and email, it is not the same as hearing the voices of your children talking to you, sharing their joys and their pain. My bedroom in Malaysia was also my office and my children would come in and out just to talk to me, from the silliest stuff to the most serious.

I made it a point to immediately put down whatever I was doing on the computer as soon as a child sat on my bed and said, "Mom, you know what?..." It became a habit and they continued to do it well into their adult years. Sometimes when they were too busy, I would go into their rooms instead to listen to them. My son's room had luminous star stickers all over the ceiling and it was always very special to lie down on the bed, look at all the stars shining down on us and talk. New mothers usually document their babies' milestones -- the first step, the first word.

But, to me, everyday brings new milestones. Separation is missing out on those milestones. Even for myself, sometimes I wish my mother were here to share with me her wisdom and advise me on how to negotiate the bends in my life.

I believe in authoritative parenting skills and I am not afraid to correct or voice my displeasure over rude or out of line character, whatever the age of the child. I believe in giving my children a great start in life by teaching them independence and accountability.

Having said that, I also believe in affirmation. It is never out of place to tell a child what he means to you under any circumstance, even if he has done a great wrong. To me, it is the deed that is wrong, but my love for the child does not change and he must know that.

I remember I posted a random picture on my daughter's Facebook "My daughter is super awesome and I'm the lucky one who gets to be her momma" and she replied "lawl, so ghetto-sounding momma" and that really made me laugh.

In Ireland, Mothers Day is celebrated on March 10, so I get to celebrate it twice a year. It is not exactly the same thing when you do not have all the children with you but I will have to settle for that till the time comes when we can all be together again.

Read more: A love that knows no bounds - Columnist - New Straits Times http://www.nst.com.my/opinion/columnist/a-love-that-knows-no-bounds-1.271554#ixzz2SP00xAaW